Tag Archives: Derpy Hooves

I Know Your Secret

The sun shone brightly upon Ponyville as Rarity trotted home to the Carousel Boutique. She smiled and paused to watch Twilight Sparkle fly overhead, bound toward the market, and then she resumed her progress to home and Derpy, anticipating the happy sight of the great love of her life. Continue reading

Derpy Lives!

So, Derpy Hooves appeared in My Little Pony again—and not glancingly, or as a background cameo.

Nope! She walked into the doorway and derped at the camera, because she was going to be the new contestant in the relay race tryouts—and we saw her right alongside the other ponies, derping away as if she’d never left, with the big difference that she had made a decision. She wasn’t just an onlooker: she was stepping up to help Ponyville, and that decision is not unlike the decision to include her again, after she’d been exiled for her looks and clumsiness. She’s back! She didn’t let those things stop her. There she was, center stage, because the team only had Bulk Biceps and Fluttershy left, and they needed her.


The great thing is, it totally defuses the objections to having her there, without changing her in the least.

Derpy’s possibly mentally retarded and certainly has strabismus, but is beloved and has a good heart and is utterly adorable. We don’t demand she has to be clever or look sharp and never did, and it’s not really her derps that won our hearts, that’s just what distinguishes her.

Until they could both show her good nature AND have a punching bag set up to be a bigger fool, they couldn’t feature her ‘cos they sort of had to be beyond reproach thanks to a certain irritating complainer.

Now, ‘Bulk Biceps’ (hate the name but it DOES lampshade his new role, doesn’t it?) is the punching bag. He is a vain blowhard who can barely fly and panicks at harmless things and is clumsier (or at least does more damage) than Derpy. Next to him, Derpy is just lovely to look at, and otherwise totally unchanged.

When she appears, it’s a GAG and brony-food, because nobody expects she is going to win it for the team. It’s basically, ‘wow, the derpy pony is going to try! That’s brave even though she’s probably going to break the other half of the course that Bulk Biceps didn’t already break’. It’s definitely not a ‘yay, now a win is assured!’ moment and they aren’t positioning her to be a strong capable example of winninghood.

(hmph. I wrote a teasing shout-out to Winningverse before the canon show did. So there!)

I don’t like that they didn’t trust us with Derpy without having to make an Old Spice Pony douchebag jerkface (who could only be male, because you can’t mock a less powerful thing so brutally and get away with it), but they did make a better punching bag and so now we can have Derpy because she’s not the biggest target anymore. I should be grateful to Bulk including his obnoxious name for making that possible.

Derpy Desires

Rarity stood in the center of her inner sanctum, surrounded by all the trappings of her sickness and glorious perversion, and stared trembling at the wall. She could feel Derpy watching her, that golden gaze drinking her in. Slowly, ever so slowly, Rarity dared shift her gaze, face scarlet with embarrassment, heart pounding, until she so very nearly met Derpy’s lovely derpy eyes… Continue reading

Turn The Stampede

Trixie Lulamoon’s head hung low. Blood dripped from her nose, and her eyes crossed a little, but she forced them straight and gritted her teeth, willing her magical ward to hold for another few seconds as the maddened townsponies charged it. Continue reading

Off With Her Head!

Lyra’s hooves pounded the road in a desperate, mad clattering, her nerves accelerating her pace every minute. What if she was too late? That would be a terrible irony, if she of all ponies couldn’t make it in time. It wasn’t for nothing that she’d won Running of the Leaves three times in a row. She was young, toned and healthy, and her tendency toward nervous energy had always translated to the most natural activity for a pony: to run. Continue reading