Coming Around

Colts smirked, sitting behind their little desks. Fillies giggled, magic twinkling off their little horns.

Twilight Sparkle moped, stuck behind her own filly-sized desk. They’d given her a little mat to sit on, as the tiny bench seats for students wouldn’t accomodate a full-grown unicorn, even when the unicorn’s horn was still foalishly small like the other students.

She pouted. The mat had the face of a smiling filly on it. So did Trixie’s. Twilight always felt uncomfortable plunking her nether regions down onto the face of a pony child, plus it had been a white unicorn filly not unlike Sweetie Belle, making Twilight wonder what Rarity would think. So she’d swapped mats with Trixie, whose mat had a blue filly like a unicorn Rainbow Dash but with a pink mane, and she tried to pretend she was sitting on Trixie’s face. It helped.

Trixie, once she figured out what the problem was, had switched mats quite happily… then took to wriggling on her mat, just to tease Twilight. Magic Kindergarten was a series of delights, for her. Not only did it provide opprtunities for mischief—it brought new experiences. Trixie had been self-taught, and had never attended Magic Kindergarten, and the first time she’d relearned a spell properly she’d squealed with delight and left her mat-filly sticky, so intense was her excitement.

It had sealed Twilight’s fate. Trixie became a huge Kindergarten fan. The two mares sat at the back of the class, but Trixie had wanted to be up front with the eager beaver students, and only stopped clamoring for this when it was explained that the colts and fillies couldn’t see past her adult body. Twilight privately felt great relief, for she still burned with embarrassment every time she went to class.

She’d have left it, as her horn and magical abilities had regrown until they were slightly greater than that of her classmates, but Trixie refused to leave. Her horn was still in the cute-nub stage, but it had returned and she no longer presented the alarming image of a unicorn with a horrible crater in her forehead. Her abilities were greatly impaired, but she flung herself into magic practice with glee and competitiveness, trying her best to beat the delighted schoolchildren with each test and exercise, and Twilight couldn’t help but enjoy being with her.

They were inseparable in their shared mortality, but among the colts and fillies, old age seemed a very long way away.

Twilight blinked. While Professor Hardhoof was still talking about basic patterns of thaumic force, one of the students was whispering to Trixie, whose ears pricked up immediately, sensing possible mischief. It was a little white unicorn filly with a red mane, wide-eyed, whose filly-friend had been whispering to her and goading her on.

“How come your horn wore out?” whispered the filly.

Trixie smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Trixie…” hissed Twilight warningly.

The unicorn filly was not to be dissuaded. She whispered even more urgently, “I DO gotta know! How come, Miss Trixie?”

Twilight glanced around the classroom in panic. Old Hardhoof hadn’t noticed them, but some of the other students’ ears were turning their way.

“Do you play doctor?” whispered Trixie, meaningfully.

Twilight choked, then tried to look straight ahead and say nothing, but she couldn’t help glancing at the kid to see if she’d laid off.

Instead, the little white unicorn filly’s gaze was locked with Trixie’s. Trixie was smirking like a fiend. The filly’s lip quivered, and she was blushing a brighter and brighter red. Her fillyfriend, beside her, stared straight ahead. She was orange, but her face grew even redder than her companion’s, and the nearby kids smirked and giggled at them both, apparently privy to some secret which Twilight didn’t know.

Trixie’s smirk widened, but it wasn’t really unkind.

“Indeed,” she whispered. “Then Trixie thinks you will find out soon. But don’t be frightened, you should be safe. Trixie doesn’t think the likes of you could ever have THAT much fun with it…”

“MISS LULAMOON!”

Twilight squealed in alarm. Professor Hardhoof was walking toward them, glowering. His eyes narrowed. “Do you think it is funny to disrupt my class, Miss Lulamoon?”

Trixie yawned. “It was worth it!” she said. “Ponies learn all kinds of things in school, don’t they?”

“Do you understand my authority as a traditional Canterlot teacher, Miss Lulamoon?” snarled Professor Hardhoof.

“Trixie has learned many entrancing things this morning,” replied Trixie, “but not that. What do you mean?”

Twilight’s eyes widened in horror.

“MISS Lulamoon,” growled the elderly unicorn. “It may have escaped your attention, but in my authority as a teacher of sometimes rambunctious magical pony children, I have license to punish you. I am sure you would not want your classmates to see that.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped, as well.

“Oh?” yawned Trixie. “How so?”

Professor Hardhoof’s nostrils flared. “Miss Lulamoon, I can spank you in front of the class, if you do not behave yourself.”

Twilight could only watch Trixie’s little smirk, and helplessly hear her reply.

“Trixie would like to see you try! Well,” corrected Trixie quite truthfully, “feel you try.”

The little white unicorn’s orange fillyfriend frantically tried to repress giggles. Next to her, the little white unicorn was a little red unicorn from the neck up.

Twilight had had enough. Jumping up, she interposed her body between the irate, unobservant teacher and her mischievous lover. “No! Please! That would be a really bad idea, Professor!”

“MISS SPARKLE! You shall be spanked as well!”

Twilight shrieked, and tried to hide beneath her desk. It was far too small, and her rump stuck out. The class had dissolved in helpless laughter. Furious, Professor Hardhoof looked back at Trixie, who stuck her tongue out at him and then licked her lips provocatively.

“BOTH of you!” he bellowed. “To the front of the r…”

“Professor?” interrupted a calm yet authoritative voice.

Twilight peered from under her desk, which she was wearing like a hat. In the doorway stood Princess Celestia. Her expression was weary and unsurprised.

“Oh!” blurted Professor Hardhoof. “Princess! Forgive me, my classroom is in an uproar and…”

“Do you need help?” asked Princess Celestia. “You’ve raised your voice.”

“I need help spanking these two miscreants!” snorted the Professor. “I really cannot have these disruptions! I…”

“Pray continue, Professor,” soothed Princess Celestia. “I will take care of this. Twilight, your presence is needed in the palace.”

“Very well,” said Professor Hardhoof. “Miss Lulamoon! To the front of the class, this instant!”

Twilight and Princess Celestia exchanged a quick glance.

“Professor!” snapped Celestia, sternly. “I said I would take care of it. Miss Lulamoon! You as well. Come along! Will that do, Professor? Please bring your class to order, which I hope will not require corporal punishment. You know as well as I do that we haven’t needed to go through with that for eleven years.”

Professor Hardhoof stared at her. “Still! The disruption…”

“We told you we would attend to it!” said Princess Celestia. “Is that understood?”

His head drooped. “Yes, Princess.”

“Now, we had better remove these rather large fillies from your good classroom. Please continue with your lessons, in the absence of our disruption,” said Princess Celestia. “I promise these students will behave themselves in future. And you children, you are behaving yourselves as well, aren’t you?”

“Yes, Princess Celestia!” squeaked the awed schoolchildren.

“Twilight, Trixie, with me please,” decreed the Princess, and she swept out.

“Where are we going?” asked Twilight, still trembling.

“Two places,” replied Celestia briskly. “Numeric Essence has sought my audience, and has a very unusual question. I seek the advice and erudition of a noted unicorn scholar, in hopes of answering her plea. That would be you, Twilight.”

“She’s in the palace servants’ wing?” said Twilight, trying to keep up.

“No,” said Princess Celestia. “That was merely my initial intention. In addition, Chaos has proposed some unusual ideas to me, alarming ones at that. I had not considered them with any seriousness, but when I saw you cowering beneath the desk and your marefriend smirking at my good Professor and licking her chops, I could but marvel at my darling’s perspicacity. I suppose startling intuitive jumps are one of her special gifts that I had not given proper credence to.”

“What?” squeaked Twilight.

“In here,” ordered Princess Celestia.

The room was living quarters, but bare save for a bed, a cupboard, and a table. Though it was empty, it was still tidy. Princess Celestia swooped in, sat down on the bed, and took several deep breaths, her ears laid back in obvious concern.

Twilight’s heart began to pound. “Princess? Are you all right?”

“We… are not sure whether to believe her…”

“Who?” squeaked Twilight. “Chaos?”

“Can I go back to class now?” said Trixie. “I had a demonstration for the class.”

“Oh, you did, did you?” said Princess Celestia, her ears immediately perking forward in full alertness. Behind the two unicorn mares, the door clacked shut and locked. Twilight jumped, and looked fretfully behind her, then back at Celestia.

Trixie yawned. “Well, two of them. Trixie proposed to demonstrate things one can do with one’s horn, for a few of the students. If Trixie is any judge, they are soon to discover it for themselves!”

“Trixie, nooo!” squealed Twilight.

“All right,” admitted Trixie. “Really Trixie just wants to learn how hard the hoof of this Professor Hardhoof can be!”

Princess Celestia’s eyes had gone wide. She snorted with suppressed laughter, and muttered, “Verily, I do believe her.”

“Who?” wailed Twilight, distraught.

Princess Celestia’s horn flared to life. “Miss Lulamoon?” she said. “What did I tell the good Professor?”

“That you needed Twilight,” said Trixie uncertainly. “Why?”

“Before that.”

Trixie’s eyes widened.

Celestia began to grin. “Yes. That I would take care of it!”

Twilight’s face was a mask of horror. Trixie’s face lit up with wicked glee.

“You’ll have to catch me first!” cried Trixie, and made a dash for the door.

Before she got halfway there, a magical force seized her by the mane and hoisted her into the air. She let out an excited squee, and then dangled passively, too thrilled to fight—and without further ado, she was levitated over and draped across Celestia’s lap.

“Naughty little pony!” declared Princess Celestia, while Twilight made croaking noises and cowered back against the wall.

With that, Celestia’s long white hoof came down with a resounding slap, and spanked Trixie right across the bottom, right where it would jolt her frisky marehood most effectively.

Trixie let out a wild shriek, her legs kicking and her tail thrashing, and Celestia smacked her butt again even more sharply, and then the air bore the scent of mare-juices in earnest and Trixie came violently, stretched across Celestia’s lap, squirting little spurts of mare-come against Celestia’s fiercely paddling hoof. It didn’t alter Celestia’s aim a bit.

Twilight watched the Trixie-juice splash everywhere with each spank, and her own eyes were nearly larger than her actual face, and her mouth was such a cartoonish curve of dismay that it nearly curled down to scrape the floor.

Trixie let out a lusty yowl, and a little squirt of horncome sparkled out of her tiny horn-nubbin, and she melted across Celestia’s lap… only to be hoisted again, and laid tenderly on the floor.

Celestia didn’t get up. Her face was twisting, as if torn between that grin of wicked amusement and a sort of horror, and her eyes glittered with tears and held a shocking sort of vulnerable yearning. Twilight was frozen to the spot, looking at that expression, so strangely naked and hungry and fearful.

Celestia coughed, and her voice shook.

“Y—your turn.”

Twilight squeaked fillyishly, and wet herself.

She went bright red in the face, glancing down, then looking up with unbearable shame and guilt. Her mind threatened to snap. She considered trying to zap herself, on the spot, with a unicorn deathbolt, but knew she didn’t have nearly the magical control to pull it off, and then realized that she was following exactly the same line of thinking that had led to her being a wretched, unforgivable, sinful creature…

Princess Celestia saw the psychic meltdown in her eyes, and gasped three words. “Chaos WAS right!”

“Eeeee…” wailed Twilight, and then her freedom to act was gone.

Princess Celestia waited no longer. She seized Twilight by the mane, lifted her up, draped her just where Trixie had been, and the elegant white hoof came down just like it had in Twilight’s worst childhood nightmares, and just like it never, ever had in all Twilight’s young life… and the Princess paddled Twilight Sparkle’s disobedient ass with resounding whacks.

Twilight squealed and writhed, though she was not trying to get away, just thrashing in hysteria… and then, startlingly, she let out a guttural whoop, and she followed in Trixie’s hoofsteps. She bucked against Celestia’s lap, her body exploding in climax, and she let out another shriek, and horncome gushed out of her little purple horn in thick luminous gouts, a huge and exhausting full-unicorn orgasm.

Twilight had finally been punished for a lifetime of at first childish and then terrible misdeeds. Princess Celestia had put her over the royal knee and spanked her mercilessly. The beautiful and elegant royal hoof had pummeled her ass and smacked repeatedly against her little unicorn pussy… and she had come so hard that she’d been left a drooling, stunned puddle.

Instead of laying her beside Trixie on the floor, Princess Celestia, eyes brimming with tears, wrapped her in a fevered embrace.

“Oh, Twilight! She was right, so right about you! Oh, baby, it’s over, henceforth we shall not touch your sweet body so vindictively, never, ever again!”

From the floor came an “Awwww…” from a similarly sated Lulamoon.

Celestia blinked. “Yes. You, Trixie! You understand these things. Chaos got the idea from your predilections! Here, come here, help me soothe her!”

Trixie attempted to crawl up onto Celestia’s lap to join the stunned mind-blown Twilight, but was so limp she could only loll her head between Celestia’s thighs. She shoved further, and the Princess squeaked: Trixie’s muzzle had poked somewhere very royal indeed. With a glow of magic, Trixie was hoisted up and laid beside Twilight, to cuddle and console her.

Trixie didn’t do this at first. She was licking her lips, a gleam of merriment in her eye.

“Wh…” croaked Twilight. She took a breath. “What the heck just happened?”

“I’ve tasted something you haven’t tasted!” teased Trixie. She could not stop smiling.

“Oh, Twilight,” moaned Celestia, her voice still unsteady.

Trixie beamed at her. “Now I understand why Mistress loves you so much! You are the best Princess, ever!”

Twilight couldn’t lift her head. Her body was limp and glowing like never before, and a sense of blessed relief flooded through her, but her mind could not even think coherently, because every time it tried, it just shorted out. She made feeble fillyish noises, took another breath, and managed one word. “WHY?”

Celestia was trembling dreadfully. Twilight could feel it in her embrace, feel the passion and raw emotion that swept through the stately alicorn and shook her until she could barely speak.

“Y… you are in such an unusual position, dear Twilight,” she said. “You and Trixie. But mostly you…”

“Trixie is so happy for you both! As long as you share… and please spank Trixie like that some more, because wow!”

Princess Celestia snorted. The remark seemed to bring her to her senses and clear her mind. “Peace! Perhaps. And do not presume! Chaos suggested several things, knowing me as well as she does. Among them, that Twilight suffered from a sort of perverse guilt and attachment. As for figuring out your intentions to be spanked, dear Trixie, that I did myself. Do not disrupt my Magic Kindergarten classes with naughty lechery!”

“Why should Trixie do that?” cooed Trixie. “You’re much better at naughty lechery than that stuffy teacher. Agreed!”

Celestia shook her head. “I only mean to say, Chaos knows me almost better than I know myself, from thousands of years back, and in Discord form she quickly came to suspect there was… feeling, between Twilight and I! As Discord, she investigated Twilight closely, even inspecting her body directly or so I’m told, and she decided that I and Twilight struggled with… I suppose I must call it incestuous feelings, fiercely suppressed on both sides. And so I struggled terribly when Twilight found you, Trixie, and behaved dreadfully, and Twilight… well, we need not discuss that further. Twilight suffered worse, if that is possible, when I went with Chaos.”

Trixie nuzzled both Twilight and the Princess weakly, licking her lips again with a connoisseur’s thoughtfulness. “Trixie didn’t realize you were just as much a repressed lesbian as Twilight. Are you sure you’re going to share?”

“I am no such thing!” retorted Celestia, laying her ears back. “I am straight! …ish! I just had to open my mind, because my true love Swirlie turns into things and is actually a mare now! It was more important to love him… ah, her… than to fuss over body parts, truly! I assure you, I am no lesbian, just formidably openminded and influenced by my chaotic darling!”

Trixie blinked in puzzlement. She licked her lips yet again. Her eyes glanced down, to where those lips had been moistened. They rose to meet Celestia’s, and the Princess began to blush worse and worse.

“All right,” mumbled Celestia. “Very well! Prithee, understand our plight, it is a lot to get used to. It is hard to keep up with all this! Understand, we did not respond thus when spanking you, naughty little pony. Nor, indeed, when seizing Twilight! But feeling her dear little body shudder, seeing her sweet horn’s release…” She fell silent, trembling again and looking away.

Twilight squirmed weakly, trying to look Celestia in the eye. “Y… you wanted me? For how long?”

“I would never take advantage of a filly in my care!” cried Princess Celestia, shaking worse. “Never! No matter how sweet, how adorable, how a—attractive…”

Trixie hmphed. “Mistress is not your filly. I’ve told her that over and over but she refused to listen. She has always reacted to you as if you were some frowning, demanding mother, eternally judging her.”

Celestia hid her face in Twilight’s mane for a moment. Trixie’s heart went out to her at the gesture, for it was so unforced.

“Understand me, Trixie,” said Celestia. “I have Chaos now. Starswirl was my true love and Chaos is him, as a little alicorn mare. If there is an eternal, we will share it. We do not have nearly as much time to share your sweet lives. You now have each other. If it means anything to Twilight that she too has my fullest, deepest love, well, she has that. Furthermore, Chaos assures me that if it is needful, she will allow me to spend a pony lifetime with Twilight and with you. Because Sw…” She choked up. “She loves me that much… and she is not going anywhere.”

Trixie just gazed into those ageless eyes, marvelling at the depths of emotion. Truly, she and Twilight had ended up in a very special position.

Twilight didn’t seem to notice that Celestia had avowed her timeless love for Chaos. She’d got stuck on an earlier sentence. “Y… you’re in love with me?” she squeaked, her heart pounding, her mind spinning.

“But loving Chaos taught me things about why it has been so difficult for me in the past!” continued Celestia. “To recognize that I could have feelings I did not admit to myself, feelings for the mare’s body, urges and curiosities I dared not pursue. The dissonance, still reacting as if you were my filly charge, Twilight, and yet you became so much more. And then things went in a sad direction… but we all got through it, didn’t we? And it proved that you are so utterly not the adored little filly I once knew.”

Twilight nodded weakly. “Uh-huh,” she said, and winced.

“And yet, seeing you under that desk… Oh, Twilight, silly Twilight. Perhaps there is a part of you that will always remind me of those days. But I do not have to keep you chaste to prevent my own impure thoughts, not now! Though Chaos has expressed a hunch you might like to pretend yourself to be chaste and innocent, like the filly you were with me…”

Twilight’s jaw dropped. “How does he know that?” she blurted, turning red again.

Trixie beamed, and Celestia’s eyes twinkled affectionately. “Goodness, Twilight,” said the Princess. “I wonder how long you’ve had that one? It seems that both of us kept some feelings under wraps. Twilight, Twilight… I am NOT your mother. And even though Chaos was right, and I triggered pent-up feelings of many kinds by the long-awaited spanking of a certain guilty and naughty filly… it doesn’t have to be that way.” She bit her lip. “Perhaps one day I will touch you more kindly. Chaos does not object.”

Twilight boggled at her. “Are you seriously coming on to me? Oh my gosh, this is impossible! How? What are you saying?”

“You only have one life to live, dear Twilight. Our comingled lives have already gone to unthinkably strange places. Chaos loves me very much. W… when I lost you to Time, Chaos saw the sharpness of my grief, and pressed me playfully and doggedly until she unearthed things I had not dreamt of. And she has all the time in Equestria, as do I, but you and Trixie do not. And cowardice must not limit us in this our one chance for fully shared love…”

“You hated Trixie,” said Twilight. “I lost you, to have Trixie.”

“I will not stand between you and Trixie,” said Celestia determinedly. “Like any mare, you may select your true love. I am not that, Twilight, nor are you mine: I, and you, are… something else. I do not grieve that Miss Lulamoon slipped in and won your heart. It’s for the best. She’s quite won mine by now, believe it or not. We are ponies, after all. Our hearts may seek one truest home, but they overflow, they have room to love beyond just that.”

Twilight’s heart pounded. “But you’re saying you want me, too. Since I won’t be around forever, and you will. And you still love me, and even Trixie. And now you like mares too…”

“Swirlie says I should let myself have… candy,” said Princess Celestia, softly. She closed her eyes, and nuzzled Twilight’s mane. “And so should you.”

Twilight was speechless. She stared at nothing, while Trixie snuggled cheerfully up and her beloved mentor nuzzled tenderly at her neck, her small and curvy unicorn body tense in disbelief and sheer amazement.

Then, Twilight gave a soft little cry like a tiny bird making its first flight into the big blue sky—and one more scintillating dribble of horngasm dribbled out of the tip of her horn—and she melted against the two mares, one small and one so large, who loved her so unworthily much until she could not bear to deny them for another second.

There was a sharp rapping at the door.

Twilight squalled, and scrabbled against her beloveds frantically.

The door opened, and a puzzled pale mint-green face poked in.

“They told me you had come here,” said Numeric Essence. “Does this mean we are to meet up here and then proceed to the thamaturgical library where I had been told you’d be?”

Twilight stared at the over-rational near-alicorn, her brain doing hysterical flips. She glanced to either side, and saw that both Celestia and Trixie wore identical ‘caught misbehaving’ expressions… and something about that cheered her immensely. She wasn’t the only pony who got caught making an enormous mess.

Trixie wiped frantically at her muzzle with the back of a hoof, apparently in the belief that getting caught with alicorn juice on your lips was dangerously bad palace protocol. She wasn’t blushing like Celestia was, but she seemed determined not to screw up what she deemed a very good arrangement.

“Did you need to meet with us about something?” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia pulled me out of class.”

Numeric Essence nodded, eagerly. “Yes indeed! I hoped to question you about your experiences. I am sure you will help me make my decision, with your invaluable knowledge.”

Twilight smiled proudly, feeling appreciated.

“But first we must see the palace doctor,” said Numeric Essence, “about electrolyte imbalances and retention of excessive amounts of calcium carbonate.”

Twilight blinked. “What?”

“Well, clearly there is a pony here so troubled by these things that she is compelled to urinate on the floor!” said Numeric Essence. “This must surely be more urgent than my little meeting, so we can wait until that is attended to.”

The smile fell away from Twilight’s face, but it snuck onto that of Celestia and Trixie.

“Pray do not trouble yourself with such things,” said Princess Celestia briskly. “I assure you there is no emergency, and I’ll have a servant tidy up the room, never fear. Follow me!”

She swept out, looking a bit flushed and disheveled but defying anypony to fault her for it, and Trixie, Twilight, and Numeric Essence trotted after her.

Essence dropped her head, and peered at first Trixie’s, then Twilight’s rump, sniffing. “Were you having rough sex?”

Twilight squeaked, blushing, and Trixie hesitated, then brazenly replied “Yes, we were!”

“Oh, all right,” said Numeric Essence blithely, and trotted on, unperturbed.


As they approached the library, Numeric Essence said, “Now that we are in the place Princess Celestia deemed suitable for this discussion, I would like to ask you, Twilight Sparkle, about your choice to become a unicorn again.”

Twilight froze in her tracks, and stared at the elegant pale-green winged figure. “What?”

Essence blinked. “You’ll forgive me for suggesting it, but I am not certain alicorn status is desirable. Magic has altered my form, but to complete the transformation I must reach out and use the magic to enact something of consequence. As is my custom, I instead reach out with my mind to understand, for that is my nature. It would appear that, should I engage with this process using my magic, my powers will increase exponentially, perhaps to an uncontrollable degree.”

Twilight could only stare.

“I am not convinced this outcome is desirable,” said Numeric Essence calmly. “It seems to me that the things I can provide the world owe little to raw magical force, and much to my ratiocination. I’ve been told you embody the element of friendship, which is magic. Did an exponential increase in your magical force help you be a better friend, Twilight?”

She peered curiously at the little purple unicorn, noticing secretions of the tear ducts, flattening of the ears against the head, marked palpitations of the hocks of the hind legs, seizing of the lower lip between the teeth…

Princess Celestia stepped in front of Twilight, protectively, as Twilight trembled and cried.

“Miss Essence, I believe the answer you are being given is ‘no’,” said Celestia firmly. “Please don’t press her further. We are all overjoyed to have our old Twilight back, and she is doing very well in her recovery. I did not realise the exact angle of questioning you proposed to use.”

“Did she not wish to give the power up?” asked Numeric Essence. “Her reaction suggests unhappiness.”

On the far side of Celestia, Twilight audibly sobbed. The Princess enfolded her in a vast, soft, white wing, and Twilight sheltered herself in that embrace.

“You’re not wrong,” said Celestia. “I’ll explain some other time, Miss Essence. Our conversation is over, for now.”

“Certainly,” said Essence. “If I may say so, this only increases my reticence. This behavior seems not well thought out…”

Galloping hooves approached, accompanied by shrill wailing. It was an odd, awkward gallop, and thunderously heavy, like some burly Royal Guard. Around the corner and down the hall came a spring-green weeping cannonball with cute little horn: Lyra, grossly pregnant, her face a rather softened and rounded mask of woe.

Celestia’s eyes widened, and she released Twilight to dart forward and catch the blindly galloping unicorn mare in a field of protective magic. “Lyra! Cease! Prithee, desist with the literal bouncing off walls, in your condition!”

Behind her came more galloping, first a set of lighter hooves and then a still more thunderous, floor-shaking charge. First to appear was Chaos, her expression fretful. Then, Princess Luna lumbered into view and her visage was dire.

“THIS IS CRAP!” bellowed Luna, in full Royal Canterlot Voice, puffing and sweating.

“Stop it, both of you!” insisted Celestia. “What would Fluttershy say if she saw you carrying on in this manner? What would Granny Smith, or Rainbow Dash tell you?”

Luna pouted, glowering. “In truth, sister, young Dash would laud the exercise and running.” She drew a deep breath. “IF NOT THE PETULANT CRAP!”

“YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE! YOU THINK I’M UGLY!” howled Lyra, in a tearful rage.

“WE SAID NOTHING OF THE SORT, WHELP!” retorted Luna, her Royal Canterlot Voice easily matching the little unicorn’s hysterical shrieks.

Celestia stamped a hoof. “CEASE!” she roared, her voice like a thunderclap, and both pregnant mares fell silent.

Numeric Essence’s ears were laid back, for the first time that Twilight had ever witnessed. She hesitantly said, “Is this, too, what one can expect upon assuming an alicorn’s powers?”

Luna was baring her teeth, panting with exertion. “Nay. Perhaps it is what one can expect upon assuming the foal of a unicorn WHELP!”

“I HATE YOU!” squealed Lyra frenziedly. “I’ll never forget what you said, never!”

“Stop!” demanded Celestia, and they did. Celestia took a deep breath, uninterrupted by mare mayhem, gathering her thoughts. Twilight peered from behind Celestia, who was physically sheltering her again, and noticed that Chaos was likewise rattled and at a loss for what to do.

“Lyra,” said Celestia evenly, “perhaps my sister did not mean every word as you think she did. May I ask what she said that caused this, this…” and she ground to a halt, struggling for a diplomatic description, “…tiff?”

Lyra’s eyes were huge and tearful. Her lip quivered, and she trembled, plainly trying to control herself and answer the Princess.

“Looney s—said my h—horn looked f—f—fat!”

“No, thick,” retorted Luna exasperatedly. Hearing this, Lyra flung herself to the ground with an earsplitting wail of heartbroken anguish.

“WILL THOU SETTLE THY SELF THE FUCK DOWN?” yelled Luna, her ears laid back, her mane seemingly crackling with fury as it waved.

“Mistress!” hissed Trixie, urgently. “Trixie thinks that girl has had enough of Princesses for the day!”

Though alarmed, Twilight nodded. “You may be right…”

“Princess?” said Trixie. “May we try to help?”

Celestia sighed. “Mayhap you had better. Yes! Use the library. Perhaps she will shriek less if she notices she is in a library?”

“I certainly hope so!” said Twilight.

Unhesitatingly, Twilight and Trixie moved to Lyra’s sides, coaxing her to rise. “Come on, Lyra,” urged Twilight. “We’ll take care of you.”

Lyra got up, and staggered against them, tears flooding her cheeks. “She hates… she…”

“Girl!” snapped Trixie, and Lyra squealed in alarm, suddenly remembering times that Trixie Lulamoon had been furious with her.

Trixie drew back and slapped Lyra’s spring-green rump with her hoof, causing an extraordinary rippling effect that wobbled back and forth across Lyra’s posterior… and then, Lyra was fleeing into the Library, still frantic with hysterical emotion. They heard a crash.

“Trixieee!” wailed Twilight.

Trixie smirked. “After you? If Trixie goes first, that girl will only knock over more bookshelves.”

Twilight blanched, and zipped into the library, her horn already lighting up with its mission of picking up the spilled books. Trixie lifted her nose high, and strutted after her, well pleased.

Numeric Essence, her ears laid back again, glanced at the Princesses.

“I think being a unicorn will prove to be enough!” she said earnestly. “Thank you, you have answered my question.” She gulped. “I—if you will pardon me? I will go be with this hysterical and violent pregnant unicorn, where it’s safe.”

She scampered after Lyra, Twilight and Trixie, and closed the door after herself for good measure. Princess Celestia stared at the closed door in astonishment, and glanced at her abashed Chaos… and then, looked at her sister, and all was explained.

Luna’s teeth were still gritted, her mane still shot off thaumic sparks, and she still held the same pose she’d been in when she bellowed at Lyra in full Canterlot Voice, that last time. Her body was so tense it was vibrating, and she appeared ready to explode. Seeing this, Celestia wanted no part of alicornhood either, but then she gathered herself and took a deep breath. It was just Luna on a very, very bad day.

“Dear Sister,” said Celestia cautiously, “are you well? Is there anything Chaos or I can do to ease your, your…”

She trailed off. ‘Psychotic rage’ seemed an impolitic description. Eyes screwed shut, Luna banged the floor with her forehoof once, twice, thrice, and took a deep breath. Her eyes opened. “FINE! WE ARE FINE, PRAY EASE NOTHING, WE ARE PERFECTLY C… C… calm…”

Celestia gazed levelly at her little sister. Luna’s wings drooped.

“Crap,” said the Princess of the Night. “We are a fearsome spectacle, aren’t we?”

Celestia’s eyes crinkled upwards at the corners with fondness. “Methinks ‘we’ can’t help it, sometimes,” she said gently.

Luna took several deep breaths, her expression sour. “We will bloody have to apologize. Again.”

“Perhaps,” said Celestia. “In truth, it appeared to me you two were evenly matched for wrath.”

Luna’s nostrils flared again. “We only mentioned it in passing! Her horn DOTH appear thicker! Not nearly as thick as her arse, and that in turn is insultingly nothing compared to mine, curse it!”

“How near to term are you, then?” suggested Celestia, deftly changing the subject. Both Lyra and her royal lover had been managing their moods by copious use of the palace kitchens, notably the brilliant patissier. He tended to strut about, filled with pride, heckled by hungry nobles, for the royal pregnant mares hoovered up his very best pastries and desserts.

Surprisingly, Fluttershy this time around had not ballooned up nearly so much as she’d done in her first pregnancy. It wasn’t because she was a vampire: she had been one the previous time, and had even done the unbeating-heart trick after her labor. She’d admitted bashfully that she hadn’t remembered to beat her heart until the day after, but nopony thought to re-check the heartbeat of a standing, radiant mare nursing her foal and talking to her friends, so she’d got away with it.

No, this time around Fluttershy kept fit for one simple reason: Rainbow Dash was coaching her, and fought off Pinkie Pie’s blandishments and candies by a combination of exhortation, cunning and cunnilingus. Pinkie still wanted to feed Fluttershy cakes and pies, of course, but after Rainbow, Zecora and Cloud Chaser had licked her into submission, she couldn’t walk and Fluttershy had a respite from those sweet temptations.

Luna passed a hoof dramatically across her brow, then hastily returned it to the floor to support her weight. “It cannot be soon enough! Methinks it be measured in weeks rather than months, but we cannot be sure. Old Granny Smith believes Lyra and I are likely to enter labor together, at such time that our bodies feel is fitting. Hearing this, Fluttershy pleaded to join us.”

“Good heavens,” said Celestia. “All three of you?”

“Granny Smith appeared angry and alarmed,” said Luna. “Old worry-wart that she is.”

“She was expecting to attend Fluttershy,” said Celestia, “but perhaps not at the same time as you.”

Luna shivered. “Prithee, tell us again there is naught to fear. We did not relish the trepidation on the old nag’s face.”

Celestia tsked. “Nag, yet?”

“She does!” protested Luna, eyes going wide. “She is a pest, a veritable plague! She makes us walk, and watches us pee!”

“She is midwifing royal foals,” reminded Celestia, “and, moreover, her grandson seeded them. Please bear this in mind.”

Luna sighed. “All right. Can’t be much longer now.” She bit her lip. “Celly, I’m frightened. It’s so big. It’s going to hurt. We mention that, and Fluttershy smirks dreadfully, her and Rainbow Dash, and they say oh yes, it does.”

“It will be all right, sister,” soothed Celestia.

“A lot you know!” wailed Luna, distraught. “How long has it been since you’ve even horncome, much less given birth?”

Celestia winced. She’d never been pregnant, and the last time she’d allowed her horn that sort of release had been in the days of Starswirl. Nothing about mares really compared to it, though she reminded herself to be grateful she had anything at all. Luna caught the flicker of dismay on her face, and cried, “Oh, sister! Pray forgive me, we did not mean to hurt you!”

“Not a bit of it,” protested Celestia. “In truth, you are right: I know nothing of pregnancy.”

“In truth you are missing nothing,” snorted Luna. “It’s appalling and a filthy disgrace and we are fed up with it!”

Chaos had been watching politely. “I could turn it into a snake on the way out?” she suggested.

“The hell you will,” retorted Luna, proudly. “Granny Smith will flay you for the very idea, mind your tongue.”

“Sorry,” said Chaos, ears drooping. “I was only trying to help. I’ll be good, truly I will.” She blinked. “Speaking of good, did my eyes deceive me or were you, Celly, with Twilight and Trixie? What brought them into your company? And what is that on your hoof?” she gasped, examining Celestia’s foreleg more closely, sniffing, then turning to her with dancing eyes.

Celestia sighed. “Indeed it is, dearest. I would not have believed it, but you were correct in every particular.”

Chaos squealed a little squee of delight. “You didn’t!”

“I did,” admitted Celestia. “I spanked both of them—yes, including Twilight.”

“What happened?” gasped Chaos, as Luna stared in amazement.

“They came. Both of them. In fact they, ah, squirted: both of them.” Celestia was trembling faintly. “It was… difficult. I cannot say it was bad. Very complicated, very very complicated. But it would seem there is hope, for them and indeed for myself. I fear you were right about me, as well.”

Luna banged her hoof on the floor, grinning. “Knew it! We knew you were sweet on that mare! You were always a sucker for that sort of power in a unicorn!”

“Oh, Luna, please!” begged Celestia. “Be kind! It is so difficult to get used to!”

At that, Luna composed herself, growing serious. “We can well imagine! Hmph. Nay, but listen, dear sister, listen to me now if ever you have deemed my wisdom worth an ear!”

“I’m listening,” said Celestia winsomely. Chaos nuzzled up against her, staying quiet.

“It’s true,” said Luna. “There is always hope. Take it from one who has erred gravely in the past. We suspected for years that you’d developed feelings for that mare, but you were so fearsomely stubborn about it. Very likely it drove her tragic path, in turn…”

“It did,” admitted Celestia. A tear glimmered in her eye.

“Hush,” said Luna. “What’s done is done. And hope is not only for you, though you deserve it! Perhaps your Twilight will find a measure of peace, and hope of her own, now.” She snorted. “Better than making cow-eyes at you all the time, and then going insane every alternate Tuesday.”

“Oh, Wednesday, surely,” said Chaos.

“What do you mean, ‘alternate’?” joked Princess Celestia, wiping away a tear with the back of her hoof. She gave a snort, her ears laying back, having got a solid whiff of Trixie And Twilight Nectar, freshly bottled and dispensed thanks to Princess-spankings.

Chaos giggled. “Oh, Celly! Do you need me to give you a few decades alone with them? I had other plans, but you know… at least I’m not stone, and I can find fun things to do…”

“Nay,” said Celestia. “We will fit it all in, somehow.” She blinked, and stared hard at her sister. “Trixie did not seem frightened of you this time. And I nearly was, sister, for your countenance was dire!”

Luna winced, her ears laying back in turn. “Ouch. We shall have to apologize, undoubtedly. And you are mistaken, for we saw her shrink from our presence… but there is some truth to what you say. Trixie is Twilight’s, and she knows it. She attends kindergarten classes with her Twilight, and is as happy as I have ever seen. And, sister? I think Twilight will be happier in the few years she has, than in the eternity she lost. Something has gone very right. But all the more if you have mended fences! How in Equestria did you manage that? We would not have considered it possible from you, at least not this promptly!”

Celestia heaved a big sigh. “It was dreadfully frightening. Disorderly, you might say. How fitting that it was Chaos’s idea. Is there anything more that I can do for you, dear sister?”

Luna took a hard look at her sister Celestia, all trembling and frazzled from her great, brave efforts to transcend her nature and heal every ill. Then, Luna studied Chaos, loving and loyal as a puppy, plainly besotted beyond reason with the tall, regal white alicorn, and the Princess of the Night knew what to do.

“Yes, Celly. Go! Go take Chaos and get away from our fretful, bloated presence, at once, and take a break!”

“Oh, Luna, I wouldn’t call you bloated…”

“Nevertheless!” declaimed Princess Luna. “You need a rest. For how long have we known and loved you? How many things have you taken on lately? Leave this morass of balky, pregnant mares and go with Chaos and enjoy each other! Perhaps out in the open air where you can have a pretty view?”

Celestia glanced at Chaos, who peered earnestly back at her and said, “You’ve only to wish it, my very dearest. I shan’t bully you into anything, but I am, as they say, at your disposal.”

Celestia felt herself sinking into those devoted eyes. “It’s all obligations these days,” she sighed. “Do you think I am due for a little vacation?”

Chaos capered adorably. “Vacation, that’s the word! I know just the thing. We can even be ever so responsible, in case of…” and she waggled her eyebrows, “Extensive Blast Radius, and go back to…”

Chaos went white, suddenly, words failing her.

“Honey?” suggested Celestia. “Is this some randomness thing?”

“Oh, sweet Celestia,” moaned Chaos, her ears laid back against her head.

“Yes, I’m right here,” said Celestia acerbically.

“No, I mean… Crowbar! We forgot Crowbar!”

Princess Celestia’s eyes bugged out. Her jaw dropped. “SWIRLIE! We must fly at once, how many months has it been? For heaven’s sake, Swirlie, you left him the size of a damn kitten and we both forgot about it completely in all the excitement!”

“Sister!” cried Luna forlornly, but it was too late. Both the Alicorn of Order and the Alicorn of Chaos were gone, racing frantically for the mountains of Los Pegasus.

Luna drooped, and hung her head. Making a face, she turned, and she trudged back down the hall. Before long, she’d turned the corner.

Behind her, the Library door clicked open. A tearful and very round Lyra appeared, her lip quivering, shadowy mares behind her urging her on cheerfully. Lyra half-staggered, half-trotted down the hall, all the faster when she heard the receding hoofbeats ahead. Her eyes widened, luminous with strong emotion, pleading as she staggered quicker, bursting into tears anew as she rounded the corner herself…

“I’m sorrreeeee…” came the muffled wail.

Then, the loud sounds were gone from that Canterlot corridor, and soft sounds ruled the day.

Sounds of kissing, impassioned besotted kissing and hugging, mingled with the gentle clunks of Lyra’s and Luna’s horns rubbing against each other in unicorn kisses.

One sob of gratitude and joy came around the corner, and then the two mates made their way cautiously back to their room.


The mountains of Los Pegasus were still where the two alicorns had left them. The trench blasted by Chaos was still there as well, easy to spot as the heights offered little or no life to mask scars in the rock. But Crowbar was nowhere, nowhere to be found, though Chaos flew about frantically.

“Oh, honey, don’t!” protested Celestia. “We’ll share the blame. It’s been ages, just accept it!”

Chaos lit with light hooves upon the mountainside. “But I’m sure I saw a trail! It’s very old, but I think it was tiny hooves! Heading back toward Ponyville, I think!”

“You surely don’t think he’d wait here?” said Celestia. “We had gone! He was naught but a retarded earth pony, dearest, he could not sense our presence. Where did you think he’d go? Why do you panic that he’s loose?”

“But I should be responsible for him! He can be dangerous to… ah. Indeed.”

Celestia nodded. “You say the hoofprints were tiny?”

“Exceedingly.”

“I think he will not unduly upset any mare he impulsively mounts,” said Celestia. Her ear twitched, hard. “And I would not put it past him, particularly with his fondness for a big flank. I doubt he can even reach them now. Yes, we shall inquire after sightings of tiny phallic horses in nearby towns, but it would appear your pet has made his escape.”

“I’m so sorry!” blurted Chaos.

“I, as well,” muttered Celestia. “There seems no end to our travails. I suppose it is well that Twilight is sorted out.” She twitched again. “I’m not sure I am sorted out. Oh, Chaos! Everything is so disordered. I suppose you delight in it, but I cannot.”

Chaos’s lip quivered. “Not when it’s making you sad, my love.”

“I’ll have to be brave,” sighed Celestia. “We’ll get to the end of this eventually.” She winced. “That goes for Twilight as well. Yes, as alarming as it is, I am pleased the relationship with Twilight Sparkle is so shockingly reinvented. We’ll doubtless see more of her little end, and that of her Trixie, but we shall also see their lives end—and I would like their time here to be one of love, with all their dreams realized.”

Chaos gulped. “So, too, would I like your time to be.”

Celestia softened. “Oh, honey. Don’t fret. I’ll have you, and so much of our amends have been driven by your curious intuition and unaccountable instinct. I wouldn’t have dreamed half of this, yet I am truly grateful. I am not complete without you.”

“That instinct… continues,” said Chaos. “Let me soothe your jangled feelings, my love.”

Celestia blinked. “How?”

In answer, Chaos’s slender little horn lit, and a faint noise came from behind her. It was a delicate wet splip, and thereafter a gleaming metal cylinder was revealed, floating around to take its place between the two lovers, and Chaos’s eyes never left Celestia’s.

Princess Celestia gave another sigh, but a gentle one. “Oh, Chaos. Yes. I would adore to make love to you again, sweet pretty greedy thing.”

“No.”

The voice was deep, and the jolt of familiarity froze Celestia where she stood.

Before her eyes, Chaos invoked chaos magic and transformed into Starswirl the Bearded, the old reprobate, her lover from thousands of years past—but, due to the nature of alicorns, with female parts. In front of his nose, the magic bit floated temptingly.

He cleared his throat, and he spoke in his old manner, and the sound of every word sent thrills through her body.

“I have always loved you. I loved you beyond death, beyond gender. Now I know how you felt, dearest, for I’ve tasted life as a mare and indeed I am a greedy thing: it has taken this long to return to you, thanks to my vagina-madness and the amount of work we have both done around the palace. You really are Order, aren’t you? Never have you shirked your duties and come after me, even knowing my shapeshifting abilities. It’s like you forgot I could do this. I almost wondered if I should.”

Celestia couldn’t speak. She gulped, staring at him as if either he or she were mad.

“You’ve taught me much about responsibility,” rumbled Starswirl. “I promise to continue to learn. But it is time that you, in turn, learned from me. It’s good you care for your subjects so tirelessly, but you must be cared for too, you’re looking frazzled and pent-up. I would know, beloved. I do know. I have known every inch of you. It is time for you to learn the lessons of Chaos. It’s time you learned to let go.”

Princess Celestia whimpered. Behind her, a drip of juice hit the rock, not missed by Starswirl.

“I promise, also,” he said, “that afterward we’ll go and tidy up all the loose ends. But first, there is a priceless, matchless end before me, that needs to be… loosened. Just a notch.” He licked his lips, his eyes flaring with that entrancing ravenousness he’d had in life.

“Not in the butt!” squeaked Princess Celestia, blushing madly. Her legs were shaking until they threatened to topple her.

Starswirl’s grin increased in wickedness. “I could make you guess what I’ll do to you—to a point—but you know what I like. No, I do not propose to hurt you in quite that way, beloved. But isn’t the uncertainty piquant?”

Celestia whimpered again, and dripped again. The air caught the sound of her vagina’s wink, a dainty little squelch.

“Turn around,” ordered Starswirl the Bearded, and Princess Celestia, forgetting all decorum, scrambled to do just that, her wings and limbs flailing, and stood bracing herself with her elegant alabaster rump facing her long-lost lover… and she heard the clink of the bit in his teeth, and knew it was no trick.

He reared, and the awkward heavy weight came down upon her again, as always bearing her down slightly due to his paunch. The young and athletic pegasus guards had always sniggered at him for that. He’d never cared, he’d laughed at them, for he knew, how he knew. They weren’t even in the running, and it didn’t matter in the least. His Princess had other concerns.

“AHH!” screamed Celestia, and her heart went from double-time to triple-time. He’d made a jabbing motion with his rather dumpy hips, and something impossibly thick had prodded a few inches into her, and withdrawn before she could even tense up.

His forelegs tightened around her waist. She felt her body go into a volley of shuddering, winking and squirting juice, as if it had flown into a frenzy of trying to attract the recalcitrant stallion, and just when she felt her mind would snap if he taunted her an instant longer…

Starswirl’s massive, fat, lengthy cock began to firmly press into her, and Celestia’s mind unraveled with pleasure.

She squealed and shook, stamping the ground with a forehoof as she took him, feeling his girth split and strain her. Nopony, nopony had ever compared, not even Crowbar, for Crowbar didn’t feel like this: he felt like some dim enamored placid beast with a huge cock, but there wasn’t the sense of control, a control that was not her own, that intoxicating spark and danger.

As she entertained that thought, her royal vagina melted around him just for a moment… and with a grunt, Starswirl plunged another foot of stiff horsecock into her, with that deceptive suddenness he had, wicked evil terrifying suddenness such as might turn a poor mare to jelly.

Celestia let out a whoop, staring up to the sky, her mouth gaping in awe and her eyes bugging out in delighted terror. Oh, he was back, he was back!

Her body had clamped down onto him, and her mind reeled. He seemed to be penetrating her to the breastbone, doing her like she’d done Chaos, but with that magical sense of understanding and drama he’d gone motionless and she could just hear the faint wet noises from between them. The sounds of a mare trying to compress a damned treetrunk… Celestia’s heart hammered. Swirlie could frighten an alicorn that stood half again taller than him. She shook like the leaves of that trunk’s tree, knowing he-

She let out another guttural yelp. Starswirl had given a sharp tug, but she was clenched so tight onto him that he didn’t slide. Instead, her whole insides jolted backwards, attached to his massive cock. She staggered, and began to emit giddy wails with every breath, her butt clenching against the absurdly girthy shaft transfixing her royal vagina.

Starswirl, tenderly and tightly clutching his mare, had been waiting for that moment. Sweating, he began to shift his hips, at first gently, and then with greater and greater insistence. It began as irresistible pulls and pushes, force applied to her insides that brooked no denial and sent her pounding heart into her throat… and then, her juicy lubrication kicked in, and bulky flesh slid against hers despite the tightness, and Celestia howled like an animal, feeling her stallion begin to squeeze back and forth inside her, feeling the hungry throb in her and the greedy shoves, the ravenous personality of his lovemaking, devouring her erotically like she was the most special princess in the whole entire universe and he hungered to eat her right up, to make her explode with excitement and burst within her…

“Do it,” he panted, his voice leering but so happy.

“Uhhhh!” groaned Celestia. “NggAAHHH!” She tossed her head, and then let out another shriek as Starswirl transfixed her with another bold, hungry thrust against her deepest depths.

“It’s been… thousandsofyears… love…” he grunted. “Let’s… discharge you!”

Celestia shook her head, and bared her teeth in delicious anguish, riding that dangerous wave that was the sensations he created inside her. “Aaahhnnnnhh!”

“Come… for me,” he gritted, bearing down, swelling throbbingly within her pelvis. He tugged and shoved his hips, stirring her, keeping his lover slick and juicy against the ruthless tightness.

“NNNNHHH!” howled Princess Celestia, her mane all disheveled, her eyes not even seeing the mountain anymore, only her own private mountain that seemed to be wedged up her vagina and beginning to churn. She screwed her eyes shut, and began to thrash in his grip.

“Come f’r me!” roared Starswirl through his teeth, pouring sweat, and he abandoned the sudden alarming movements and just set up a deep powerful thrusting, fucking his alicorn Princess boldly and hanging on tight.

“AIIEEEEEEE!”

Princess Celestia’s eyes flew open, and they were blinding pools of white light.

Her body convulsed upon his cock… and the whole world seemed to erupt in light. It blasted out of Celestia’s horn, and shot up into the sky like a reversed lightning bolt, but far bigger. It was a bolt of horngasm like nothing Equestria had ever seen, of a thickness and intensity that would obliterate anything in its path, and skyward it went with a deafening thunderclap.

Starswirl grunted, and let go, gushing magic horsecome into his Princess, and the bolt of royal horngasm bloomed outward until it seemed to surround them… and then, even as he shuddered and felt his spasms die away and the last spurts of semen pump into Celestia, the light show stopped. Celestia gave a hoarse, ragged cry, and collapsed under him, completely stricken, her body a feverish puddle in his grasp.

Starswirl shook his head. He dismounted, tugging his deflating cock out of her still-clenching Princess-pussy. There was no question of her perishing in the experience—she sprawled bonelessly, her tongue hanging out, eyes rolled back in her head and a huge sloppy smile on her face, and Starswirl could see her heart pounding through the arteries in her neck. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen or even imagined his beloved Celestia so utterly plowed under by pleasure, and his heart sang with joy and pride as he looked.

Then, Starswirl looked up.

The crescent moon greeted him, faintly visible above the horizon in the clear late-afternoon sky.

Unfortunately, it was supposed to be nearly full.

He dropped the magic bit on the ground, and said “Eep!” in the voice of Chaos.

“Ahhgggg…” crooned Princess Celestia, drooling happily onto the grass.

Starswirl’s horn flashed with panicked chaos magic, and the fat unicorn stallion disappeared, replaced by the petite ice-blue alicorn mare. She squealed in dismay, hopping up and down. “Celly! Celly!”

“Uhhhnnnnn…”

“Wake up, Celly, pleeeease!”

Princess Celestia wriggled feebly on the grass. Chaos bent down imploringly, looking her right in the face. Princess Celestia licked her nose. “Ohhh, baby…” she moaned, ecstatically.

“There’s been an accident!” wailed Chaos. “Oh, please, it’s important!”

The Princess shook her head, and in a determined effort rolled onto her chest. “Mmmm. I love you so much, baby, every which way…”

“Look up!” squeaked Chaos frantically.

Celestia looked up, and squinted into the sky. She looked puzzled for seconds, the endorphins flooding her brain and getting in the way of coherent thought, and then her eyes widened.

“Oops,” said Princess Celestia.

“Luna’s gonna kill me!” squealed Chaos. “She can probably feel it! She’ll totally notice the next time she has to move that moon! Oh, Celly, what do we do?”

Celestia squinted, and shook her head again. A wave of reverberating pleasure caused her tongue to loll for a moment again, and her eyes to roll back, but she fought her way free of that dizzy state, and focussed her attention on Chaos. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Can we fix it?”

“I don’t know how we’d even try!”

Celestia set her jaw. “We’ll do it like Twilight and Trixie do.”

Chaos’s eyes widened. “You mean…”

“Meld with me. Now, while I’m… ahnnn… pliant.”

Chaos looked stunned. “But… an alicorn and a unicorn stallion…”

“You’re an alicorn too, idiot,” said Celestia, and gave Chaos a little kiss on the nose.

“Oh! Of course I am. I’ve been so many things, really…”

“Shh,” said Celestia, and concentrated, opening her mind to her counterpart.

Chaos joined, and then both alicorns were shocked senseless by what happened.

Instantly, they were immersed in a sea of limitless force, like there was some sort of engine driven by their very selves: the distinct polarities, and their total, joyous embrace of each other in every sense. The energies swamped them, surrounded them with every imaginable thing: patterns of force, materials, matter, anything they imagined became existent and answered their call.

“Send it! Send it up there where it’s needed!” thought Celestia, or Chaos, or some combination of the two.

Their universes merged and became an unlimited whooshing of intention and physicality, so fast and effortless…

Then, it flicked off as if it had never existed.

Celestia wobbled, faint, still resisting the seductive call of foolish, drooling bliss. She blinked, dazed.

Chaos shook herself, trying to make sense of the experience, charmed unmentionably by how absurdly random it had been. It really pushed all her buttons, yet it had been so… purposeful.

Both looked up, and the moon floated far up in the sky, exactly as it should have been. They’d done it.

They gazed into each others’ eyes, lost in timeless love.

They glanced down.

Chaos shrieked. The two alicorns were perched on top of a thousand-foot tall stick made of rock. It flared out a bit at the top, to make room for them to sit, but the rest of the mountain was gone, its material used to repair the moon.

Chaos clutched Celestia frantically, and Princess Celestia gave in to her sloppy, blissed-out smile, and laughed softly at her beloved. “Have you forgotten you have wings?”

“Oh!” squeaked Chaos. “So I have. Dear me, Celly! I got so into my return to Starswirl, that it’s like it became my reality again! I may find myself rather stuck in that mindset, should I visit it.”

Celestia licked her lips, lazily. She waggled her eyebrows, seductively. “Anytime.”

Chaos beamed at her. “My absolute pleasure.”

“Not, I think, only yours,” teased Princess Celestia.


At the base of the impossibly tall spire, a little light-blue alicorn stuck a sign. She giggled. “I cannot believe it was your suggestion… to turn into a curious beast whose mane was sign-boards and whose pussy lubricates mucilage. A little mane-trim and voila!”

“Just promise me you’ll never ask me to mate with that form,” said Celestia, with a shudder.

“We can do better than that,” said Chaos confidently. She pressed the sign in place with a hoof, and stepped back to admire it.

‘MOUNT CELLY’, it said.

“Both what it is,” enthused Chaos, “and how it was made!”

Princess Celestia rolled her eyes, blushing happily, and accepted another kiss from her companion.

Then, they took wing, flying off into the sunset, back to their Canterlot home. Back to Canterlot, to Ponyville, to all their heartwarming, lusty, good pony friends, to care for them throughout all their lives and the lives of their foals.

Gradually, the silence gave way to the sound of birds and the chirping of crickets, as still more ephemeral life approached to visit and eventually live in harmony around the new Mount Celly.