Balances

“But… how come we don’t want to bring it, Rarity? We’re going to do sex things, that’s the whole point!”

Rarity sighed. “Oh, Derpy. Yes, you’re perfectly correct darling, but I’ve tried to explain to you: they do things differently.”

“But what if I want you to push a big fat penis into me?” said Derpy Hooves, imploringly. “How is that not a sex thing?”

Rarity giggled, and gave her a kiss on the nose. “And so I shall—on other occasions! My lovely brave pegasus mare, I relish such moments like no others, but we will not be at home, Derpy, and different rules apply!”

“But what if Fluttershy wants you to push a big fat penis into her?” suggested Derpy.

Rarity tsked. “Makes no difference! Pinkie Pie most certainly does not. You’ll see.”

“But don’t I get to…” began Derpy, and trailed off, scratching the floor with a forehoof, biting her lip. She looked up. “…with YOU?”

Rarity hugged her, and Derpy snuggled into the embrace as her unicorn lover tried once more to explain.

“Think of it as bringing them special treats, darling. We shan’t trot over to their home and leave them cooling their hooves while we retire to their bedroom and carouse! Why, that would be the height of rudeness! That is the one combination we will not experience.”

“But…” wheedled Derpy.

“No indeed!” insisted Rarity. “Darling! I must ask you to trust me. I can manage any sort of erotic scenario, no matter how challenging, and this one has been spelled out quite clearly for us. It is Pinkie Pie’s birthday. They’ve arranged for Rock Candy to go play with Applejack’s Northern Spy for the afternoon, and Fluttershy has arranged a little party for her.”

Derpy Hooves blinked, her gaze swapping directions as she puzzled over this proposition. “And we’re the party guests, but we shouldn’t have fun with each other? Even though we’re guests?”

“No, no, dear,” corrected Rarity. “We are the presents. Now, come along!”

Derpy bridled. “I understand that, Rarity! But you with a penis is the best thing ever and I just don’t understand why that’s wrong! It’s so huge and good!”

Rarity snickered. “Oh, Derpy. Your opinion is noted! However, I told you the same rules do not apply to Pinkie. They have a bit too, you know, and they do not use it.”

“How come?” pressed Derpy.

“Well, on the one hoof I understand Pinkie doesn’t like it. I’m also told that when Fluttershy uses it, the results are extremely shocking, well beyond my own magic-induced favors, and she doesn’t like that. Fluttershy is an exceedingly feminine mare, and apparently finds such things disturbing.”

Derpy frowned, trying to think. “But… if she’s such a feminine mare, she might like YOU with a penis making love to her!”

It was Rarity’s turn to frown. “Fluttershy is a dear friend, Derpy, but she doesn’t always tell me everything. Of this I am sure: she is comfortable enjoying my friendship without taking it to more intimate levels. She raised the issue as a present for Pinkie Pie, and that is what we shall do. And, Derpy, she specifically said we’re to leave our bit at home. Not another word! It is settled.”

“How’re we supposed to have sexy fun without a penis?” grumbled Derpy.

That got Rarity smiling again. “I told you Fluttershy was my very dear friend. We share spa treatments together, and talk very freely about things. She’s talked about Pinkie before. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I’m rather excited, myself. I’ve heard wonderful things about Pinkie’s powers, and now we’re to be served up to the giddy creature as a sort of special treat. I am flattered that Fluttershy sees me in that light, and thrilled to experience something I’m assured is beyond belief.”

“…does she think I’m a special treat, too?” asked Derpy, bashfully.

Rarity bit her lip. “I do hope so. You’ll remember, when we bathed yesterday after lovemaking, and I used my hoof and magic to wash you rather… thoroughly?”

Derpy giggled. “You’re naughty!”

Rarity rolled her eyes, with a smirk. “True but immaterial… Pinkie doesn’t wish the taste of penis, darling. I didn’t wish to impose upon you, but I hit the spa early this morning and took a deep vaginal rinse. I’m not sure you’ve ever douched but Fluttershy didn’t have to suggest it; I knew without being told, and I shall present the facade of a virginal mare to the best of my ability.” She winced, gently. “Perhaps if Pinkie had got to me when I was that innocent, my life would have been better… but no, absolutely not. I regret no outcomes, darling, though the path has been grueling.”

Derpy hugged her. “I love you, Rarity!”

“Now come along! We don’t want to be late.”

“Okay!” said Derpy, following Rarity out the door of the Carousel Boutique. “Should we bring anything special?”

“I’ve explained that Fluttershy asked us not to bring the… oh!” squeaked Rarity, screeching to a halt.

“What’s the matter, Rarity?”

“Trixie’s gift! I must bring Trixie’s gift. It’s polite, and I may need it.”

Derpy stared at her in perplexity. “You just said you weren’t going to bring the magic bit!”

“The ring, darling, the horn ring!” replied Rarity. “Remember? My little magic prophylactic?”

Derpy frowned. When Trixie had devised a magic-suppression ring to be worn on the horn, to protect herself from leaking magic while lovemaking with her increasingly dangerous Twilight Sparkle, she’d told Rarity of her invention and Rarity had seized upon the suggestion at once, wheedling and imploring until Trixie made her one of her own. “That thing?” said Derpy, stamping a hoof.

“Oh, dearest. I understand how you feel, and I’ve made great progress, haven’t I?” pleaded Rarity.

Derpy gave her and a nearby bush a hard look. “Rarity, you squirting magic is a beautiful thing. It’s like with me and my wings, and it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It’s such a pretty blue and sparkly and special, and I know once it made you sad…”

“But there are circumstances…”

“Rarity!” protested Derpy. “I know somepony hurt you once that way because you tried to explain, but you said that’s where Sweetie Belle came from and Sweetie is the most wonderful cute innocent little pony! It’s just sex things like me and my wings, Rarity, and I want you to love what your horn does when you get excited. We’re all mares anyway so it’s not like you’re gonna get pregnant again!”

Rarity flared her nostrils. She snorted, her eyes flashing, and then she stared into space for a second, mastering her emotions, and spoke calmly. “Derpy, let me finish, please.”

“Okay,” pouted Derpy. “…if it’s not about you feeling bad about yourself.”

Rarity gave a wry smile. “Not exactly. Derpy, do you understand that we’re going over to Fluttershy’s house? This is not about me being self-conscious, darling. A unicorn’s bedroom is liable to observe certain precautions. I understand Twilight Sparkle has to resort to sandbags these days, to hear Trixie tell it, though it may be her boasting nature coming forth to gild the lily again. Don’t you see the problem?”

Derpy frowned. Rarity hastened to explain further. “If I don’t control my horn’s issue, it could set fire to something in Fluttershy’s house. Don’t judge me, this time I’ve every reason to use the magic-suppressing ring. I won’t be a moment, dear. I’ll carry it in a little shoulder-bag because Ponyville unicorns could find the sight of me wearing it distressing, but bring it we must!”

“Well, okay,” said Derpy. “When did you say we should go over to Fluttershy’s place?”

Rarity squeaked in dismay. “The time! Wait there, I’ll be right back!” She galloped back inside, Derpy cheerfully following just to be with her, and she kicked open the door to their inner sanctum… and froze, in open-mouthed horror.

Sweetie Belle stared back, wide-eyed, Rarity’s magic bit in her teeth, caught just as she was leaving the room. Under her, a sizeable filly penis jutted out cheerfully, and Rarity and Derpy stared at it, then back at Sweetie’s guilty face.

Sweetie dropped the bit, and it chimed as it bounced off the floor. “Sorry,” she offered, lip quivering.

Rarity’s eyes were wider still. “Sweetie Belle, what is the meaning of this?”

“Oh!” replied Sweetie, frantically trying to think. “I, um, we were working on the clubhouse. Me and Scootaloo, I mean. And we needed to bang… I mean, build something, w—with banging! Like hammering. So I, um, wondered if I could hammer in some nails. Not with the bit though! I mean, uh, with my penis I guess, right? Which I wouldn’t have unless I borrowed a magic bit, so that’s why I needed one. Because logically… because when I’m with Scootaloo it’s like so hard that I could probably… um.”

Rarity’s face was a study in disbelief.

“We don’t actually hammer in nails that way,” admitted Sweetie Belle, and pouted. “I just wanted to have more sex. I’m in trouble now, huh?”

Rarity reeled in her gaping jaw. “You’re grounded, Sweetie Belle.”

“Awwww!”

“Don’t bicker! You’re assuredly grounded for the night, and we will talk and determine whether your punishment will persist for the week. Do you understand, young lady?”

Sweetie winced. “Uh-huh.” She hesitated, and brightened. “Do I have to go to my room?”

Rarity glowered at her. “Go there and send Scootaloo home, and we will talk tomorrow.”

Sweetie’s eyes bugged out. “How’d you know that Sc…” She shut her mouth hastily, and then drooped at Rarity’s look of triumph. “Okay…”

Rarity smiled in satisfaction. “I’ll check up on you later, young lady. Go! You are grounded, and I don’t want you interfering with my personal things again. You know better!” Her horn lit, and she gathered up a stylish little shoulder-bag, and tucked the magic bit and a dull metal ring into it. Briefly, she began to fiddle with tubes of lubricant and a pair of spurs, but then caught herself and glanced sharply at Sweetie. “To your room, now! And send Scootaloo, whom I’m sure is awaiting you and your ill-gotten booty, home at once!”

Sweetie sighed theatrically. “Okay, okay…” she moaned, and trudged off with sulky obedience.

Rarity turned to Derpy.

“Wouldn’t it be Scootaloo’s booty, awaiting Sweetie’s penis?” asked Derpy, puzzled.

Rarity’s ears laid back. “Not today!”

“And Sweetie Belle’s booty didn’t look ill to me,” added Derpy.

Rarity gave her a glare. “Are you teasing me, dear heart?”

Derpy tried to keep a straight face, which lasted at least three seconds. “Yes,” she giggled. Rarity tried to maintain the glare, but couldn’t help smirking back, all the more when Derpy stepped forward to kiss her muzzle.

“Ah, me,” sighed Rarity, wearing a rueful grin. “Chip off the old block-head?”

“Sweetie Belle is a good little pony,” reassured Derpy. “I’m sure she’s going to be good and do what you said. Now, when were we supposed to go over to Fluttershy’s house?”

Rarity blanched. “Eeee! Five minutes ago, surely!” She reared with a whinny of alarm, but Derpy reared as well with a flapping of wings and grabbed her, steadying her with a firm pegasus hug.

“It’ll be okay, Rarity, don’t freak out! They’ll wait for us.”

“They’ll have to. However does she propose to wrap us?” wondered Rarity. “Should I bring ribbons, or wrapping paper?”

Derpy kissed her again. “Bring yourself, there aren’t any ribbons that would be prettier than you.”

Rarity’s lip quivered, and she nuzzled Derpy. “You’re so good for me. Let’s go, dearest. I promise this will be something quite special.”

Together, the unicorn and the wall-eyed pegasus walked sedately away.


Scootaloo bounced to her feet when she heard the soft, deliberate hoofsteps approaching, and she faced the door with eyes alight and wings erect—and for a moment, when Sweetie entered, she didn’t understand and stared at her filly unicorn lover in mystification. “You left it outside? What for?”

Sweetie sighed, and walked past her to sprawl on the bed, flicking her tail angrily. “Rarity came back. She caught me and took the bit away and said a bunch of stuff we have to ignore now.”

Scootaloo trotted over. “Wait, what? What stuff? What did she tell you, Sweetie? You look upset.”

“I AM upset!” squeaked Sweetie, causing her lover to wince and lay her ears back. “I have to wait another whole day to help you, and it’s gonna be harder to steal the bit and I can’t tell her that I’m keeping you here and maybe we should just run away from home together and go off to Fillydelphia or something…”

“Whoa!” protested Scootaloo. “First of all, we’re not stealing. I told you, we have to put it back afterwards because Rarity uses hers and it’s not like how it was with Fluttershy. And what do you mean run away from home? And what’s wrong with me being here?”

Sweetie pouted. “I’m grounded. She told me to send you home, so I have to break that rule too. She’s probably going to lock me up in some dungeon or something.” Her ear flicked. “Would that count as sexy? Except for ew, she’s my Mom, she never acted sexy at me before and I dunno if I like that.”

Scootaloo’s ears were still laid back. “Slow down. I have to go ‘cos you’re grounded? That sucks.”

Sweetie nodded. “Yes, so now we have to ignore that as well as steal the bit better next time and why does it have to be so complicated? Now I have to really really be extra bad, and I don’t think I want Mom chaining me up in some dungeon. Especially a sexy dungeon! It just feels like she wouldn’t be Mom anymore but I don’t know what other kind of dungeon Mom would even have. Oh, Scootaloo! I’ll do it, but only for you.”

The orange pegasus filly’s expression was beyond dismayed. “Don’t even talk that way, Sweetie! Settle down. This is you thinking too much again. Start over. Did you say that you’re grounded and I have to go home now?”

“Yes, but…”

“So, fine, then!” said Scootaloo. “None of that bad stuff has to happen. I’ll go home and we can be good and there won’t be any chains or dungeons. And it kinda seems to me that grounding you is what Moms DO. So Rarity’s being totally Mom-like. Right?”

Sweetie’s lip quivered. Her eyes filled with tears. “But…”

“What?” challenged Scootaloo.

“But I have to get you your magic penis back! And not just for me—you need one to feel like yourself! I can tell how badly Apple Bloom hurt you when she broke your magic bit!”

Scootaloo glowered. “And who insisted that I should let her take it?”

“I’m sorry?” quavered Sweetie. “But that’s why I have to steal another one for you!”

Scootaloo continued to frown, but not at Sweetie. “Yeah, but the thing is Fluttershy didn’t want hers. And now that we’re trying to do it over again, it makes me think that even the first time it was stealing.”

“It was wonderful,” sniffled Sweetie.

“Well, I can’t always be wonderful,” snapped Scootaloo, “but if I try I can be good. Are you telling me you are ready to wreck things with Rarity and break all her rules so that I can have a penis again?”

“Yes?” said Sweetie, uncertainly.

“So what if I don’t want you to be bad?” challenged Scootaloo, facing her unicorn mate as she sulked on the bed.

“It’s for love,” said Sweetie, and pouted.

Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. “I love my Mom, too.”

“We don’t have to tell your Mom. We never told her about the first bit, did we?”

Scootaloo was staring into space again, glowering. “Maybe that’s a problem. This isn’t supposed to be bad for us, Sweetie! A lot of ponies are okay with us being together. Like, grown-ups and everything. How much of this is because you need to protect me from feeling bad because I can’t be a stallion anymore, and how much of it is just you wanting a dicking? And don’t lie, Sweetie Belle, you like dicking more than anything.”

Sweetie shot a quick glance at Scootaloo, and looked away. She was blushing. “Um. There’s a little of both.”

“I thought so.”

Sweetie gulped. “But I guess I can get by just with some oral sex tonight…”

Scootaloo stamped, and Sweetie’s body jerked. She glanced again at her fierce pegasus lover, her lip stuck out and quivering, but Scootaloo wasn’t having any of it and said, “I thought you were grounded.”

Sweetie pouted more. “Technically I am, but Mom went off to a party.”

“And she asked you to tell me to go home. Didn’t you say that?”

“Yeah,” admitted Sweetie. “But she’s not here!”

“She’s also not putting you in a dungeon,” said Scootaloo. “She’s being your Mom. ‘Cos she caught you stealing, and I was going to let you do it.”

Sweetie’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean by ‘was going to’?”

At that, Scootaloo’s head dropped. She scuffed a forehoof on the floor, frowning, and then looked up again into Sweetie’s gaze. “We shouldn’t do that. Not that way. Rarity’s not going to let us. It’s not even that I’m scared of being punished because I’m totally not. I like your Mom, Sweetie Belle. Rarity is really cool. If she doesn’t want you to steal her bit, I don’t want you to either.”

“But you need to be my colt!”

Scootaloo bridled at the remark. “Oh, now it’s colt instead of stallion? Now that I’m not doing what you want?”

Sweetie sniffled. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it to… oh, phoo!”

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. “You can say that again. Listen, Sweetie. She only grounded you for tonight? You didn’t say if it was for longer.”

“It’s only tonight,” pouted Sweetie. “I don’t want even that much, it’s not fair.”

“Try this for me. Let’s be good. I’m gonna go home and you stay here and be grounded and don’t fight your Mom, okay? Tomorrow we can think of what else to do. Maybe Apple Bloom can carve a penis out of wood for us?”

Sweetie cringed, eloquently, her ears laying back.

“So maybe not that,” argued Scootaloo, “but we’ll think of something.” She sighed. “Look. Try to be good for me, okay? Tomorrow I’ll give you lots of licks and nibbles and we’ll think of something else to do about all this. You know we don’t only have sex, we do lots of things together and ponies know we’re in love…”

“Were,” grumbled Sweetie. At Scootaloo’s offended glare, she pouted and said, “Okay, I won’t lie. Are. We’re in love. I just want my stallion some more, okay?”

“And I want to be that,” said Scootaloo, “but right now I think I gotta be it in a different way. Be good or I’ll bite your little rump and teach you a lesson.”

She hesitated, her ears back. Sweetie’d stuck out her tongue, and wriggled her butt, flipping her tail to the side.

“Okay, fine,” said Scootaloo. “Be good or I WON’T bite your little rump for a week and that will be the lesson. So there!”

“Rarity isn’t always good,” protested Sweetie. “Part of what makes her special is how much she likes being bad. What do you say to that, Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo thought for a moment. Then she smiled. “Sweetie Belle, what would Derpy want you to do?”

Sweetie stared back with a stricken look. Then she pouted twice as hard, and laid her head on her pillow. “Fine!”

“I love you, Sweetie. I’m sorry you got grounded but tomorrow it’ll be over and we can figure out where we go from here.”

“I love you, Scootaloo. You can let yourself out, you big stinker.” Sweetie stuck her tongue out, and then blew a kiss.

Scootaloo trotted out of the Carousel Boutique, stepping high, feeling sort of like a brave and heroic stallion after all. The early-evening breeze felt great on her body and wings, and she galloped off home, taking little jumps into the air and gliding steeply back to earth again. She wasn’t that good at sustained flight no matter how hard she tried—but some things were worth trying for. She resolved to give her Mom a hug, and Braeburn, if he was around. Unless they were busy being private, of course.

A motion caught her eye, and she peered through the trees on the outskirts of the woods, and gasped.

It was Silver Spoon, and Featherweight. They were in a little clearing, and at first Scootaloo thought they were having sex but it became increasingly clear they weren’t. They were dancing. Featherweight took to the air not to position his scrawny hips behind Spoon’s ample curves, but to flit around her awkwardly as she pirouetted.

That Ponyville Prom dance contest, thought Scootaloo. They were practicing. They wanted to be the winning pony couple.

Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed in a look of determination and resolve, and she kicked the dirt with a forehoof, as if preparing to charge. When she turned away and continued homeward, her trot was even more fierce. Behind her, Silver Spoon and Featherweight twirled on.

Before Scootaloo was out of earshot, the sounds they made were no longer the sounds of practicing. Scootaloo rolled her eyes.

Losers!


“Is it a big cake?” asked Pinkie Pie. “Or a chocolate fondue? Or dare I say it, a huge vat of pudding?” She stumbled forward, guided by Fluttershy.

“In a manner of speaking,” said Fluttershy smugly.

“Ooooh! Which is it?”

“You’ll see.”

“But I can’t see anything, silly, because you put a blindfold on me!” cried Pinkie, taking another step into their bedroom. She’d tripped on half the stairs going up, and Fluttershy had panicked, but Pinkie’d just laughed at every tumble. The blindfold never left her face, even as she’d knocked over a flowerpot. She beamed, sightlessly, delighting in the game.

She sniffed the air, and her tail shot straight out behind her and cracked like a very fluffy whip.

As soon as Fluttershy saw her reaction, she snapped at the blindfold and yanked it away with her teeth—and stood, wearing an uncharacteristically wicked smile, as Pinkie’s jaw dropped nearly to the floor.

Before her were two lovely mare bottoms, poking up naughtily into the air, while their heads rested on cozy pillows. Pinkie couldn’t see their faces, but there was no mistaking either feminine posterior: on the left, the cuddly grey curves and bubbly cutie mark of Derpy Hooves, and on the right, the unmistakable elegant contours and diamond cutie mark of none other than Rarity.

As Pinkie stared, stunned, Rarity flicked her pristinely coiffed tail, and the alabaster labia winked wide on cue to entice and provoke.

“Happy birthday, Pinkie!” said Fluttershy, nuzzling her mate, who seemed too astonished to react.

“Is… is this a joke, Fluttershy?” breathed Pinkie. “I mean, is this okay? You know I’m very happy with you. Really I am.”

Derpy stirred, beginning to glance behind her. Rarity whispered, “Sh!”

“It’s no joke,” smiled Fluttershy. “You’ve tried very hard to make me feel like the one and only. It’s your birthday. I wanted to get you something special. Did… did I succeed?”

“Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!” squeaked Pinkie. “Are you sure, Fluttershy? Are they okay with this, like are we all on the same page or in the same big vat of pudding if you know what I mean?”

That got Derpy to lift her head and gawk at Pinkie, despite Rarity’s cautions. “We’re not in a big vat of pudding, you silly! What are you talking about?”

“Would you like to be?” said Pinkie, her eyes wide and too bright. “Would you like to feel as though you are?”

Derpy blinked, her eyes swapping focal points, confused beyond hope of responding.

“Sh, Derpy!” insisted Rarity. “We’re to play passive, darling, we are to allow ourselves to be pleasured!”

At that, Pinkie capered and giggled, and Derpy began to smile in simple delight just to see the pink pony’s happiness.

“Oh, Rarity!” snickered Pinkie. “A lot you know—pegasi rarely play passive!” She glanced at Fluttershy, hastily. “Um, at least not many of them! Oh, Fluttershy, I wish I did have a vat of pudding for this. It’ll be like my very first time! You know, with those three other cute fillies, all of them pegasi…”

Rarity hmphed, and flicked her tail at Pinkie. “I think you’ll find unicorns have their good points as well…”

“They do!” squeaked Pinkie. “I mean, you do… I mean, I’m sure you do. Eeeee! I can’t believe I get to run wild with three mares again for my birthday!”

She lunged at Fluttershy, but stopped short, as her mate unexpectedly pulled back, folding her wings tightly.

“I’m for ordinary days, my love,” she said, “I want you to have something special today.”

“You’re totally special,” protested Pinkie Pie, but Fluttershy put on a stubborn look and shook her head.

“Aren’t you going to open your presents?” she said, slyly. Derpy watched curiously. Rarity nuzzled the pillow, and moaned, wriggling her ravishing rump.

Pinkie’s head was dragged that direction as if by magnetism, and Fluttershy’s smug look grew clearer by the second. “Go on,” she said. “Open your presents.”

Pinkie licked her lips, her ears splaying to the sides in sweet psychic turmoil.

Rarity quivered visibly. Derpy asked, “Is she going to do stuff with her tongue now?” and eeped as Rarity gently cuffed her with a hoof.

“What a good idea,” breathed Pinkie. She slunk closer to Derpy. “Hey, Derpy! Did they tell you what I like? I mean, do you understand what I want to do right now?” Her legs trembled as she leaned in, sniffing at Derpy’s pretty tail and the quietly waiting vagina half-veiled by it.

“Uh-huh!” said Derpy. “Rarity says Fluttershy says you like licking pussy! I know that feels good and it makes me happy to think that you’re going to have a happy birthday licking mine!” Her tail flicked cheerfully.

“There’s more than that,” breathed Pinkie, her eyes shining. “I like PEGASUS pussy, ever since my first time. And one of them was grey, just like you…”

“Hmph!” sniffed Rarity, and then squeaked, for Pinkie had smacked her butt with a hoof.

“Oh, just you wait!” said Pinkie. “Fluttershy’s told me a little something about you! I bet I know how that’s gonna go. Rarity, you are dessert and probably an impossible act to follow! Wait your turn. I’ll make sure you’re not sorry!”

Rarity peered back, startled. “I see. And I take it my lovely Derpy Hooves is dinner?”

Pinkie glanced quickly at Fluttershy, who returned a steady and unflinching gaze. Pinkie turned back to Rarity. “Derpy is nostalgia about my first time—and a bouncy warmhearted playful pegasus—and such a sweetie that I want to make her just as happy as I feel. Derpy, I’m going to taste your pussy, okay? Gosh, this feels weirder than anything. Does she get excited, Rarity, or is she too innocent?”

Rarity snorted with mirth. Derpy stomped a rear hoof on the soft bedspread and demanded, “Lick me already!”

Pinkie leaned in… and then blinked, glancing over at Rarity. “What’s that on your horn, Rarity?”

A smouldering, impassioned unicorn glance met her curious gaze. “That, darling,” replied Rarity, “is fire protection. We wouldn’t want to burn your house down, would we?” She smirked. “It will prevent unwanted ejaculation of magic that might otherwise burst forth,” she said, and licked her lips. “…when you drive me, ruthlessly, to hitherto unimaginable ecstacies that the pony frame can barely withstand…”

“What’s a hitherto?” asked Derpy.

Rarity made a face. “You’ll see. Must you tread upon my eloquence?”

Pinkie couldn’t stop grinning. “Oh my gosh, you guys are so adorable together. Wow! Rarity… I totally will do that. Start bracing yourself now, you’ll need it. Derpy?”

“Yes?” squeaked Derpy, blinking cutely at the pink earth pony.

“Snuggle up to that pillow, like Rarity’s doing. I’m gonna make you feel really good until you basically can’t walk anymore, before I impress the heck out of Rarity. Fluttershy?”

“Mmm?” said the butter-yellow pegasus, watching from a polite distance with her wings tightly folded.

“This is pretty much the best birthday ever EVER. You know that, don’t you?”

“I hoped it would be,” said Fluttershy.

Pinkie turned to Derpy’s upthrust rump, tenderly nuzzling aside the ash-blonde tail, her nose caressing the inner contours of Derpy’s plump little bottom, then touching her tidy labia that came together so neatly and nicely.

Derpy moaned happily, and under Pinkie’s nose, her pussy winked out good and wide, revealing a silky pink inside sheened very faintly with moisture.

Pinkie bared her teeth, her nostrils flaring as she inhaled. “Ahhhh. That’s good to know.”

“Too innocent, you thought?” snorted Rarity in amusement.

“Shush,” said Pinkie, her eyes locked on Derpy’s treasure. “Not your turn.” As Rarity snickered, Pinkie Pie nuzzled Derpy’s vulva again.

The semi-innocent—or relatively innocent—pegasus pressed backwards against Pinkie’s inquisitive nose, winking enthusiastically, her tender grey buttocks quivering with pleasure that doubled as Pinkie groaned and licked across the entire surface of her labia, tongue-tip tucking into every little fold and cranny, except the most basic one of all. That, Pinkie avoided until Derpy was shivering and squirming, until Derpy’s pussy was pouting and glistening and going between a squeezed-up wink and a quivery jelly-like state that revealed a glimpse of moist darkness: Derpy’d become so receptive that Pinkie could see up into her, just barely, between winks, and sense the turgid fever lurking inside her.

Not that Pinkie intended to just feast her eyes…

A lewd, noisy squelch resounded off the walls, and Derpy Hooves shrieked “YEEEEE!” and leapt wildly forward, flapping like a maniac. Pinkie rocked back and reeled a prodigious length of tongue into her mouth with a slurp, and Rarity rose up and hugged her mate, soothing her. “Easy, my love! That’s the way. It’s all right. Perhaps too much, ah, enthusiasm, Pinkie dear?”

“I’m sorry, Derpy! I didn’t mean to frighten you, it’s just so terrifically good! Are you mad at me?”

Derpy’s legs were shaking. She turned her head and regarded Pinkie in horror and more than a little awe. She blinked, and she stuck out her tongue and wiggled it, clearly trying to make sense of what she’d felt, in reference to what she knew of tongues.

Pinkie Pie snickered gleefully, and before anypony could react, she was gesturing with a hoof, going “Gaaaaaa—aaaa!” in imitation of a trombone. However, instead of a trombone, there was nothing but a doubled and tripled length of tongue, one loop following the position of Pinkie’s hoof in imitation of the trombone’s slide.

Rarity moaned, watching. “Ahnnnn! Mama want.”

Derpy’s jaw dropped. “Oh my,” she said weakly, and she craned her neck and stared at her own butt, gulping, considering the idea that an extended tongue had indeed plunged to her cervix in a single tender thrust, had licked dexterously around its flowerlike swelling—and then, tucked into her there, pointing itself to tease her with the hint of an unimagined penetration. When she looked back at Pinkie, it was with her ears laid almost flat against her head.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. “I think Such A Waste mode, dearest. You frightened her.”

Pinkie’s eyes bugged out. “Really? She’s a pegasus, double-trouble-fun-tunnel, you’ve told me that’s the best part! Pegasi love it all the way inside like that! Dashie goes berserk for that stuff! Or she used to…”

Fluttershy looked stern. “She’s… she’s Derpy Hooves, Pinkie. I mean it, play nice. I never meant for you to scare her. Isn’t tasting her sweetness enough? Do you really need to traumatize the poor baby?”

Derpy stamped a hoof. “I’m not a baby! I just… gosh!”

Pinkie blinked, and leaned closer, and Derpy flinched, flapping nervously.

“Did they not tell you I could do that?” asked Pinkie. “I’m sorry, I got really excited with you.”

“She wouldn’t have believed it,” said Rarity wryly. “Even if she had, she couldn’t have imagined it. I can’t… and you’ve no idea how hard I’m trying to imagine just that. Ahnnn!”

Pinkie pouted. “I didn’t even go in all the way!” she protested, and Rarity bit her lip with a little squeal of desire. Pinkie sulked for a moment. “Fine! Rarity? You’re getting the works. Got it?”

Rarity licked her lips, her sapphire eyes gleaming. “I expect nothing less.”

Derpy was eyeing Pinkie as well. “Um… I think I still want you to do stuff. Is it okay if you don’t do impossible things to me?”

Pinkie glanced at Fluttershy, who smirked and blew a kiss, calling, “Good girl, Derpy! She will do exactly as you wish, don’t be afraid!’

Hearing this, Derpy turned to face Pinkie, with a determined look on her face. “Pinkie Pie, I really do want you to lick me more. And even the sticking your tongue into me part. Um… just maybe without it being so scary and weird?”

“Dibs on scary and weird,” breathed Rarity, eyes glittering.

“Called it. Such A Waste mode,” said Fluttershy.

“Shush, both of you,” said Pinkie. She made a face, but more resignation than annoyance, and she thrust her tongue out again for Derpy to see, but this time it wasn’t a writhing nightmare-tentacle or a trombone. Derpy’s eyes widened. She’d never seen a horsecock sticking out of a pony’s mouth before.

“Oooh!” whimpered Derpy, and whirled about, pressing her face to the pillow, butt up, winking eagerly.

“Alw’yth the thtr’ght m’reth,” grumbled Pinkie, “tho n’t adv’nturouth…”

Fluttershy tsked. “I thought that was your fetish, Pinkie Pie,” she said, and she bit her lip. “I thought you said straight mares were the best candy ever.”

Pinkie glanced at Fluttershy, and began to smile. She winked, not with her vagina, at her best and most precious lover.

“Everyth’ngth g’d,” she mumbled around her outthrust tongue, and then with obvious tenderness and delicacy, she began to nuzzle the end of it against Derpy’s winking ponypussy.

Derpy flicked her tail, panting, and Rarity gazed fondly at her, glancing rapidly back and forth between her hind end and her lovely golden eyes… and Rarity smiled more and more fiercely, as Pinkie’s head pressed steadily forward and Derpy’s eyes diverged more and more with bliss.

Pinkie moaned a little herself. It was such a tender, buttery-soft love-tunnel! And Derpy’s pale blonde tail was so pretty as it flicked, then thrashed happily before her eyes. Even Derpy’s asshole was adorable, pooching out as she tensed, nestled between silky grey rump-cheeks. But it was pegasus vagina that drew all of Pinkie’s attention, and Derpy quivered with pleasure as Pinkie’s tongue pressed deeper and deeper, parting warm wet enclosing folds, penetrating lovingly down to Derpy’s very womb and pressing her there with gentle firmness.

The false medial ring adorning Pinkie’s tongue didn’t reach. She concentrated, and it slid down and wedged into Derpy’s vagina, which resisted slightly before parting to permit the wider ridge’s entrance.

Derpy wailed, shuddering, and began to pant harder.

“Oooo… l’ked th’t?” managed Pinkie. She could feel Derpy’s body around that part of her tongue, and the pegasus mare was clinging excitedly, squeezing at the little bulge that had pried into her.

“Uhhhh!” moaned Derpy. Her ears weren’t laid back, they were perked up in high excitement.

Rarity licked her lips. “Whatever you did, darling… more.” She watched sharply, picking up every little tremble and quiver. “That was good, whatever it was. You must try that on me, after.”

Pinkie nudged deeper, focussing her thoughts. “Wh’t… thith?” she mumbled, and flared the bulge a little wider, shifting it along her tongue so it popped out of Derpy’s clinging tightness, and then shoved firmly back inside, Derpy’s labia popping back around it as it entered with a wet little noise.

“UNHHhhh!” cried Derpy, banging the bed with a forehoof. Pinkie’s ears went back, and she glanced with alarm at Rarity. Rarity studied her beloved carefully, and licked her lips.

“About that much, Pinkie dear… and do it again. And again, and again!”

It didn’t take much to convince Pinkie. Her face screwed up in concentration, and Fluttershy watched entranced as the ridge of tongue, powered by nothing more than muscle control, appeared to tug out of Derpy and push back into her, again and again. Pinkie’s tongue stayed relatively still, though it squirmed and knotted with tension, but the simulated medial ring at its inflated size moved anyhow. It yanked at Derpy’s vulva until she was splayed wide, and popped out with a wet noise, and then hungrily shoved forth to enter Derpy again, pushing Derpy’s tender crotch inward until with a splip it vanished into her depths and her labia tucked snugly behind it.

Rarity smiled, watching as well. Derpy was reeling, her wings groping the air, and though nopony was touching them, all the same she was showing a level of arousal that usually required wing-play. Derpy Hooves responded to fierce penetrations of her pussy with ebullient shrieks of delight, but there was another level she could reach, normally reserved for the occasions when Rarity seized the base of her wings and gnawed them ravenously, wresting them to and fro. It was their most intimate thing, and that was when Derpy set up an unearthly howling, shaking all over with her feathers bristling out.

Pinkie wasn’t touching her wings and Rarity knew not to do that in the presence of others. Still, as Pinkie’s tongue sent a fat ridge back and forth through Derpy’s quivering vulva, Derpy began to wail and then howl an eerie soprano howl, her ears laid back and her body shaking. She shuddered, and Rarity saw her tail lash, saw her body seize up in vivid spasms—and Pinkie moaned abandonedly, her head twisting in sensuous motions, as Derpy began to collapse in a featherdustery heap.

Rarity beamed, her lips parting in a silent cry of delight. She’d never been able to watch Derpy’s sweet face at such moments, and she drank in her beloved’s shivers and cries, leaning closer to feel Derpy’s panting breath on her cheek, savoring every flicker of eyelid, every flare of those delicate gray nostrils, the dazed stunned look in those lovely golden-amber eyes. And as Rarity soaked up her lover’s experiences, her hoof worked away between her own legs, and Rarity masturbated herself shamelessly, gritting her teeth in pleasure, and she let out a girly little squeal of her own as she came, eyes locked on her beloved Derpy’s as she watched Derpy melt down into a sex-wracked puddle.

Rarity panted, smiling so hard her face hurt. Derpy still shuddered, her voice weaker, that eerie howl fading and interspersed with breathy gasps. Rarity hesitated, watching Derpy writhe and shiver, and cleared her throat.

“That will do, Pinkie Pie.”

“Hrmmm?” came Pinkie’s voice.

“That will do,” repeated Rarity. “Let her rest, she’ll fall asleep in seconds, trust me.”

Pinkie withdrew her tongue. Derpy shuddered all over, her eyes flying wide as that penislike bulk yanked itself out of her… and sprawled limp, staring at nothing with a stunned look and a dizzy halfsmile on her face. Her eyelids flickered, and then fell closed, and Derpy began to snore.

Pinkie and Rarity stared at each other, and Rarity said politely, “I trust you don’t object to that. You’d better not, as I won’t stand for you or Fluttershy jostling her. It is an adorable snore, is it not?” She batted her eyelashes winningly.

This time, Fluttershy and Pinkie stared at each other, exchanging a knowing look. It was a honking, obnoxious snore, but it appeared Rarity was so besotted with her grey pegasus lover that she worshipped even her snores—and though Fluttershy’s cool gaze suggested this was silly, Pinkie’s fond look said without words that it was nonetheless very romantic.

Rarity batted her eyelashes again, her countenance begging for approval. Pinkie turned to her. “It is! It’s the cutest most adorable snore I ever heard, you’re such a lucky mare, Rarity!”

Rarity’s face was wreathed in quivery smiles. “I know!” she said, and then the smiles grew an edge. “And that’s not all. I’m about to become even luckier. No?”

Pinkie giggled. “I dunno! Maybe that wore me out? My tongue might be all done for the night, after that?”

Rarity’s eyes widened in horror. Behind Pinkie, Fluttershy snorted with laughter, covering her mouth with a hoof, her eyes mischievous.

“Is that true?” squeaked Rarity. “Can it be TRUE? Ahhh! Worst! Possible…”

“Stop it, you naughty prankster,” scolded Fluttershy. “If she rends her mane, you’ll have to wait until she fixes it!”

Rarity gave a mighty humph, and Pinkie looked back and forth between her and Fluttershy as Derpy snored, and then Pinkie hastily added, “Of course it’s not true! My tongue is the tutti frutti for your patootie… well, if patootie means vagina which I’m not sure it does, don’t mind me okay? I still can’t believe how good Derpy was or how loud she’s snoring.” Pinkie eeped, and looked apologetic. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! It’s great!”

Rarity’s ears were laid back, but gradually they came forward, and her eyes never left Pinkie’s. “Ah. Well. If you are, dare I say it, ‘raring to go’…”

Pinkie giggled. “Sure!” She glanced at Fluttershy, fretfully. “But I might really be worn out after Rarity. I have a funny feeling she might surprise me that way. How much should I save for you, flippylippy?”

Fluttershy pouted. “I told you. This is your present, Pinkie Pie. Don’t save anything. I’ll be… I’m okay. I promise.”

Pinkie hesitated, studying Fluttershy, trying to see behind her eyes and dig out any mystery residing there… but she encountered nothing but a pegasus wall. Fluttershy was implacable, determined. “You’re sure you’re okay, Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked.

“Completely,” said Fluttershy. A little smile quirked the corner of her mouth. “Don’t you remember that I like to watch?”

“Uh-huh,” said Pinkie uncertainly. She looked back at Derpy, then at Rarity. “This is such an amazing present. But it’s also sort of a present for you, huh?”

Fluttershy dropped her gaze. “You always enjoyed other mares so much, Pinkie. You’ve only paid attention to me, trying to make me feel cared for… and I do, honestly, but I want you to be yourself as well. And yes, I like that I can watch you doing it.”

Pinkie’s eyes held Fluttershy’s again, and again got nothing beyond what was given.

“I will be,” said Pinkie. “Nothing’s going to stop me being myself. You be yourself too, okay?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I hope so.”

Rarity flounced, tossing her mane. “Are you quite finished? You seem to be extending permission for what we’ve already been doing. And I haven’t had the chance to be MYSELF properly, darlings.”

Fluttershy blinked. “What? Rarity, you’ve been pretty and sexy and you winked at Pinkie at least three times. You smell like you were at the spa all morning, and your grooming is so perfect I doubt you’ve even sat down on anything for fear it would mark your coat. How could you possibly be more Rarity than this?”

Rarity began to smile, then chuckled a rich, indulgent chuckle. “Oh, my. I suppose this is your chance to learn, then, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. Rarity turned to Pinkie.

“Do your worst, darling,” she purred. “I want it all.” And she deliberately pivoted, directing her silky rump toward Pinkie, gazing back over her shoulder with a flash of her vivid sapphire eyes, and swished her tail to the side… and winked, tensing her muscles and holding her labia open for an extra few seconds just to make herself absolutely clear.

Pinkie licked her lips, staring at the glistening prize.

Rarity winked again, and again she did the trick with holding the pose, as if to say: I carouse with these lips pulled wide by clips and straps. I’ve seen more than you could possibly imagine, I have skills of my own, and I expect no holds barred and no limits…

Pinkie stepped closer, and homed in on her target.

“Ahnnnn!” moaned Rarity, blissfully. Tender pony tongue caressed her nethers, fondling her labia and toying with her. She turned her head, crooning “Go on, go on!”

Pinkie licked her lips—then Rarity’s, as they winked eagerly—then her lips again. “Greedy silly unicorn pony! I’ll get to everything you want. This is my present, Rarity, which is YOU—or your vagina, but it’s also you making love to me, isn’t it? You can beg if you want but I’m still going to savor it, so there!”

“Oh, we’re going to be that way, are we?” retorted Rarity, tossing her mane.

“Rarity likes being roughed up,” explained Fluttershy. “I’ve watched.” She blushed at Rarity’s speculative glance, adding, “Well… I tried to! She’s pretty private. Much more than other ponies. I can tell by what she sometimes wears.” She dropped her gaze, still blushing. “I think I try harder since she won’t let ponies see. Is that wrong of me? I’m sorry, Rarity, I should have told you.”

Rarity gazed levelly at her dear friend, an eyebrow lifted. “Well!” she said, huffily. As Fluttershy’s face fell, Rarity deftly caught it by nothing more than a sudden, wicked halfsmile, and then she made Fluttershy gasp and lift her wings with four sultry words.

“NOW you shall watch…”

Pinkie Pie blinked. “All masks are off, huh? Well, that’s good, I really won’t have to hold back. But, Rarity, you need to understand about me, too.”

“Understand what?”

“I like to savor,” explained Pinkie, and bent to her task again.

Once more, the dexterous tongue emerged to caress mareparts, tucking between labial folds to wetly fondle Rarity’s sensitive flesh. Rarity bared her teeth in a snarl of delight, holding her tail to the side, shivering as little sparks of passion coursed through her. To tease was a delight, but to be teased in turn was both thrill and exasperation, and Rarity’s tail and ears began to twitch as her juices began to flow in earnest.

Fluttershy furled her wings tightly, licking her lips, watching. On the left, the round gray bottom of Derpy Hooves, leaking the female side of mating’s fluids out of her delicately parted labia. Derpy’s pussy looked so good that Fluttershy almost wanted to taste it herself. Her ear quirked as she filed that thought away with surprised satisfaction. Influences!

On the right, her beloved Pinkie’s legs trembled, and Fluttershy knew better than anypony what that meant. She bit her lip, eyes widening and drinking in the scene with voracious hunger, staying perfectly silent as she always did. Pinkie and Rarity were facing away from her, though Rarity’s body was somehow at just the right angle that she could see a glimpse of where Pinkie’s tongue explored… and Fluttershy’s hoof stole between her own legs, brushing equine breasts and delicately massaging her own vulva as her eyes devoured the scene…

Fluttershy gasped. Just for a moment, she’d caught a glance out of the corner of Rarity’s eye. It was the hint of a sapphire gleam, impassioned beyond her fondest hopes but also unmistakably amused, and Fluttershy’s hypersensitive mental antennae stood bolt upright screaming ‘she saw you!’ and before she could remind herself that of course she did, she’d invited the voyeurism…

Pinkie Pie tensed, shoving her head forward against Rarity’s crotch, and Rarity let out a paint-peeling shriek and went rigid, accompanied by a juicy extended slurp that somehow didn’t quite die away, but seemed to echo and sustain itself mysteriously.

“Gh!” squeaked Fluttershy, coming, her eyes locked on the edge of Pinkie’s mouth. She shuddered, her body spasming in bursts of masturbatory pleasure, staring and staring at the way Pinkie’s tongue visibly knotted and squirmed, the way Rarity’s pussy clenched frantically at it, clit poking out in wink after savage wink, those juicy noises burgeoning and escalating.

Rarity heaved huge desperate breaths, venting them in screams, pounding the bed with her forehooves. She couldn’t entirely drown out the lewd, shocking noises. She’d lubricated hugely under Pinkie’s teasing, and then she’d got exactly what she hoped for: Pinkie’s shocking, massive tongue plunged fiercely into her and began to writhe and contort.

Fluttershy could see how tense Pinkie was, and knew it meant the earth pony’s full effort. Her eyes blurred and she fought back her dizziness as her own orgasm rampaged, clopping herself madly and biting her lip, and she moaned as she watched Rarity’s belly bulge out strangely, seeming to churn from within—which was precisely the truth of things. Fluttershy whimpered with excitement, watching her elegant and private friend wallow in a ravaging that surely she had never experienced, not like that, perhaps in the normal way, surely since she’d been Big Macintosh’s lover she’d been ravaged the usual way but not this insane churning and writhing deep inside the vagina…

Pinkie’s face screwed up with effort and concentration, and the bulk of tongue squirming inside Rarity’s vagina and visibly displacing her belly with moving lumps of pussy-stuffing… went somewhere, and no longer churned between vulva and cervix. Fluttershy could almost see Rarity’s belly empty out, so heightened were her senses. She could almost believe she heard a muted slither, as the lengths of tongue found another place, beyond a stolid nub of flesh that didn’t ask for stimulation.

The cervix wasn’t itself an erogenous zone. The body didn’t work that way, as Fluttershy knew well. But there was a difference between what a tongue could do, and what you’d get out of something exciting but normal like a penis. There’d been no chance that Pinkie would penetrate Derpy’s womb with a false horsecock, for those were stiff and solid, but Pinkie Pie had other tricks.

Pinkie’s tongue could also slither through narrow apertures, even cervical folds, and coil up snugly and gently in spaces that weren’t ever designed for cock-ramming. Pinkie would relax and her tongue would go delicate, tasting its new surroundings, respectful of their sanctity—when it was Fluttershy’s womb she sought. She’d fondle Fluttershy from the inside, a heart-stoppingly intimate sensation but very cautious and gentle, and Fluttershy would come and come endlessly as the strain melted away from Pinkie’s loving face, her effort slackening.

Tendons stood out on Rarity’s neck. She let out a strangled scream. Pinkie hadn’t relaxed at all. For a moment, Rarity fought for breath, and Fluttershy thought she could hear a faint sound, not unlike the sounds of Pinkie’s tongue at work but even more muffled, mingled with the tiny wet kisses of Pinkie’s own vagina winking in orgasm.

As Fluttershy watched Rarity’s pussy clamp down hysterically and her tail thrash as if the elegant dressmaker was being electrified, she saw Pinkie’s tongue swell with effort and thicken, which happened when Pinkie was contorting it. Rarity’s lower belly didn’t churn, though it spasmed in orgasmic clenches that awed Fluttershy very much. And that meant Pinkie’s tongue had probably also thickened where it passed through Rarity’s stolid cervix—which meant that Pinkie Pie had done something Fluttershy had never heard of. She’d penetrated Rarity to her very womb, but then she’d gone in there and romped, writhing against the walls vigorously.

It surely hurt. Fluttershy knew it had to hurt, even in that timeless instant as she saw it all happen. Fluttershy wasn’t interested in hurt, at least not way in there where stallion-come was supposed to go. It was supposed to be an unforgettable, wet, sticky flooding sensation and certainly not thick writhing masses of tongue wedged into your womb because that would seriously hurt. But Rarity…

Rarity’s head tilted back, and she screamed a harrowing, wanton scream. Blood was coming from her nose, just a trickle, and Fluttershy’s shocked gaze told her that the dull metallic ring on Rarity’s horn was visibly smoking. Under it, Rarity’s horn shone with searing radiance, sparks cascading across her forehead as her horn tried to erupt with magic and was blocked. Fluttershy saw Rarity clench, her clitoris winking out with brutal force, her orgasms double-timed, accelerated as if they were piling on top of each other…

Rarity collapsed. Pinkie sagged.

“Hnnnn!” whimpered Fluttershy, her wings stiffly erect. She couldn’t stop staring as her body shook, no longer requiring her hoof’s kneadings. Rarity was out, Pinkie was too exhausted to lift her head or withdraw her tongue even from the cramped confines of Rarity’s uterus, but Fluttershy continued to shudder with orgasm, stunned at what she’d witnessed.

Pinkie’s ear flicked, as she heard the feathery rustling. She peered groggily back, to see her beloved’s wide, wide eyes, and the dying spasms that still shivered her.

Pinkie coughed, flicked her ear again, and drew her head back. Her tongue stretched as if it was stuck inside Rarity, which made Fluttershy wince. As Pinkie stretched it, Rarity’s body shuddered, and the wrecked unicorn made a croaking noise and squirmed weakly as Pinkie’s tongue began to slither out of its deep hiding place. Seeing this, Pinkie put a hoof against Rarity’s trembling rump and pulled harder, and though Rarity gave an anguished cry at the treatment the rest of Pinkie’s tongue came loose. It was an amazing sound Rarity had made. It could have been suffering at the renewed twisting of her insides, or a lament that the experience had to stop—or both, at once.

Rarity panted, sniffling, unable to lift her head. “Curtheth,” she mumbled. “My nothe.”

Pinkie wobbled over to see, and let out a cry of dismay. “Nooo! I didn’t mean for that to happen, I’m sorry!”

“Twithe before,” said Rarity, grimacing, her ears laying back. “A tithue? Quick.”

Fluttershy rushed over, a tissue in her teeth, trying to settle her wings. “Oh, Rarity! I’m so sorry, I… I…”

She trailed off. Rarity’s grin wasn’t all grimace. Her eyes gleamed triumphantly as she wiped her nose with the proffered tissue.

“Mph,” she said. “That may have been the most violent orgasm I have ever experienced. I love it.”

Pinkie blinked, speechless. Fluttershy asked, “Really?”

“Oh yes,” said Rarity demurely, dabbing at her nose with the tissue, then inspecting it. “Thank you, dear miraculous wonderful Pinkie Pie. You did not quail! You took me at my word. Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my…” She winced. “Ah hah. Yes. Quite literally, I fear.” She gritted her teeth, the grin not entirely leaving her even then. “Well!”

Pinkie looked alarmed. “Do you need help? Oh, Rarity! I got so carried away, I thought you wanted me to go harder than I’d ever EVER done, ever!”

“I did,” snapped Rarity crisply. She sniffled, and wiped her nose again. “Am I presentable? Please don’t tell Derpy my nose bled. I’ll have you know that it’s happened only twice before… and both were epoch-making bouts, dear me, yes. Pinkie, you star! You have a rare gift.”

Pinkie gulped. “You’re sure you’re okay?” she pleaded.

“I win,” replied Rarity. “I conquer any erotic scenario, darling.” She batted her eyelashes, one of which was coming loose. “And I promise, I shall see the doctor first thing tomorrow. I won’t even pretend it didn’t cost me, but ah… glorious!”

“I hurt you?” wailed Pinkie.

“You scened with me, as only you could!” insisted Rarity, fiercely. “I can’t think of a pony alive who could have driven me that hard in that very peculiar way. It was spectacular and I shall never, ever forget it and it will shine brightly in the constellation of my most treasured memories. I swear I’d have had you burst through my body if I could survive it and you could tolerate it. Ahnnn! And I thrive, darling, you’ve not damaged me too dreadfully, I assure you. Surely you rejoice just a little, that you’ve unleashed your fiercest passions? Was it good for you?” She waited for a reply.

Pinkie stared at her, stunned. She licked her lips. “Uhhh… I always wondered what doing that would be like. I didn’t want to hurt you, Rarity, but that was so exciting… This is just crazy! Why is it, Rarity, that it’s your body which got such a rough time, but I’m all shivery as if it happened to me?”

Derpy Hooves was starting to stir. Rarity beamed at Pinkie, and blew a kiss.

“Welcome to the life, Pinkie my sweet! It all went just as I could have hoped. Thank you for not taking Derpy farther than she wishes. I can’t tell you how satisfied I am. Let me reassure you: you may continue to have your normal boundaries, dear one. I have just… widened them a bit. As you have done for me!”

Derpy blinked. “Did I miss something? You’re super happy, Rarity. You played with Pinkie? Did she use her tongue?”

“Yes,” said Rarity with satisfaction. “Yes, she did. Are you feeling lively, Derpy dearest? Can you help me walk?”

She rose, wobbling, to her hooves, and they all stared at her proud bearing, her gleaming eyes, the still-smouldering ring that graced her pretty horn. Fluttershy hugged Pinkie, whose jaw dangled in amazement, and they watched as Derpy shepherded her triumphant, shattered mate down the stairs, out the door, to stagger proudly home.

Pinkie stared after them, speechless. Her ear twitched, then one eye.

Fluttershy hesitated, and then gave her a big hug. “Happy birthday, Pinkie Pie?”

Pinkie twitched again, staring off into space, and shook herself.

“Whoof!” she said, and hugged Fluttershy back as if awaking from a tantalizing but disturbing dream.


Rarity stumbled into the door-frame of the Carousel Boutique, and Derpy giggled. “Easy there, Rarity! Not much farther!”

“Thank you, darling,” crooned Rarity. “My heart, my love, my wonderful darling. And so patient with my stranger pleasures!”

“Uh-huh,” said Derpy. “Now come on. I’m putting you to bed…”

“Just a moment?” came a voice from behind them.

Rarity turned, to see a strange pony. Not just a pony, but an alicorn: a tiny ice-blue alicorn, smaller than Cadance or even Twilight, looking bashful and inquisitive.

“I realise this must seem odd,” said the little creature, “but hear me out, please? I’ll be quick, you look tired. I am Chaos, but you might know me as Discord, and I need your help. This is my true form, and I’m supposed to explore sexuality, but it would mean anything to me if I could experience it again as a stallion and compare that to what I have in this body. I can do many interesting things with my chaos powers and I’ll do literally anything you could ask for if only I can have a chance… and I understand you are one of the possessors of the infamous magic bits?”

Chaos bit her lip, scuffing a hoof on the Carousel Boutique floor, her eyes imploring desperately.

Rarity drew a breath.

“Come back in a few days,” she said. “Not now. I must recuperate. You’re correct, I have that toy. You’re Discord? I remember things you’ve done. And this is your true form?”

Her eyes studied the winsome, harmless-looking little alicorn mare.

“I have many toys, darling, and none surpass me in the gifts of eros. So, if you mean to explore sexuality…”

And she licked her lips, a mad light dancing in her eyes.