Touch Me There

“Well, good mornin’, sugarcube!” called Applejack, a smile in her voice.

Apple Bloom yawned, trotting down the stairs, nodding contentedly to see the smile was also on Applejack’s face. Granny Smith was already at the table, and Applejack was hard at work already, cooking breakfast. She’d risen long before dawn, but since she’d relegated Boss Mare duties to her little sister, the sturdy mare found herself inventing new and delicious breakfast treats to supplement the regular old omelets and haycakes that got her family started in the morning.

Both ponies turned their heads to hear a thumping and giggling from upstairs, and Applejack’s ears quirked in perplexity and then laid back in alarm.

“Hey, hey, whoa! Whoa!” she cried.

Heedless of her scolding, into view came her mate and her foal: not precisely down the stairs, for the stairs weren’t in use. Rainbow Dash, flapping hard enough to send gusts of wind around the kitchen, flew into view grinning a mischievous grin. The grin was more than matched by the gleeful smile on the face of Northern Spy, their little green foal. She looked almost more thrilled than she could stand.

It was easy to see why, for she was neither standing nor walking down the stairs, or even running down the stairs like she continually did in spite of all reprimands from her earth pony mother. Spy was flying down the stairs, for she was clinging awkwardly to Rainbow Dash’s back.

“Northern SPY! You git down here this instant!” ordered Applejack.

Dash landed in haste, and Spy flipped insouciantly off her back to land sprawling on the floor with a thud. She hopped up again immediately, with a huge beaming smile, and chirped, “Spy did!”

Applejack shook her head in disbelief. “Dashie, I tole you an’ I tole you, don’t you go along with that stuff! An’ Northern Spy Apple, what the hay are you thinkin’?”

Spy scampered over to jump up onto her chair, which took a couple tries. She insisted on a big girl chair, though she was years away from fitting one. Her filly-foal voice chimed out unworriedly, “Fly down th’ stair!”

Applejack’s eyes narrowed sternly. “Now see here, lil’ girl. You cain’t fly! You’re our little earth pony! What do you say to that?”

Northern Spy’s lower lip stuck out. Her cute little eyes narrowed just like her Mom’s. “Fly down th’ stair!”

“I thought I better help her with that,” confessed Dash, putting on an imploring look and big puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh, really? How come, oh Rainbow Dash our own lil’ zap-apple, how come?” demanded Applejack.

Dash made a face. “Tell her what you told me, Spy. C’mon, out with it.”

Spy glanced nervously at Rainbow. She pouted harder. She mumbled, “…fly down th’ stair anyway.”

“And what did I say, crabapple?” retorted Dash.

“Said nuh-uh,” admitted Northern Spy.

“And why is that?”

Spy’s lower lip threatened to detach from her face through sheer force of petulance. “Baby can’t fly.”

“Aw,” said Applejack. “That again?”

“She wanted to take a big running jump and have me catch her,” explained Rainbow Dash. “I’m not saying I couldn’t, but no way, okay? And she could tell I meant it, but she did the sad eyes and the lip and can you blame me? She was good, she’s not gonna try to fly off anything. We flew down the stairs… together.”

Applejack’s lip quivered, her eyes teared up from the sheer adorableness of her beloveds, but her voice was firm. “Not outdoors, got it? Even flyin’ around the house is against my better judgement. Spy tumbles off ya and you know it. Scares me to death, sugarcube, that it do.”

“I know!” replied Dash. “I swear, we’ll be good. I just couldn’t resist the lip and the sad eyes, you know?”

‘We gonna get into a battle, Dashie?” said Applejack. “I kin give you the lip too.”

“You always win, babe,” smirked Dash. “Hey, you’re the one who gives me the tongue.”

Granny Smith tsked, but there was no great force behind it, and Dash didn’t push it farther, contenting herself with the one saucy quip.

“Big Macintosh joining us?” asked Dash.

Applejack shook her head. “Over at Braeburn’s, bless him. Not canoodlin’, or at least not only canoodlin’—you know they’re buildin’ that house? It’s amazin’ to me that ol’ Braeburn proposed that, but we ain’t got the room here and he don’t want to stay with Flight Lightnin’ all the time, so it stands to reason.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” said Dash. “On a fly-over. Ranch house, really small, good view out past Ponyville, right?”

“That’s th’ one,” said Applejack. “Go figure. We like our windows facin’ the town, but Braeburn, he gotta be facin’ the prairie. O’ course that also means he gets the sunrise, which ain’t too shabby any way you look at it. Real pretty, that place. If Braeburn wants to cook Big Macintosh breakfast, more power to him.”

Dash’s eyes twinkled. “I got Mac an apron.”

“Oh, you did?” grumbled Granny Smith. “That was you, did that?”

“Yeah. Applejack’s got that backwards. Big Macintosh loves to cook breakfast for Braeburn, and he’s real good at it…”

“Ain’t nothin’ backwards, Dashie,” protested Applejack, with a worried glance at Granny. “Jes’ keepin’ the peace!”

At that, Granny Smith snorted. “Hmph! Do tell? Applejack, happens you’re even backwarder nor me. Do you know what Big Macintosh did with that apron?”

Applejack gulped. “Uh… nope?”

Granny Smith’s mouth formed in a hard little smile.

“He done showed me it, girl.”

Applejack’s jaw dropped. “No!”

“Yep,” said Granny. Her voice was an odd blend of crankiness and pride. “Frilly thing, it is, with lace an’ ribbons. Girliest damn apron, says ‘Paid In Kisses, Change In Winks’. Silly ass critter, boys cain’t wink that way. Guess he’ll be keepin’ the change then.”

Applejack gawked. “Dang! He… showed you this?”

Granny shot her a sharp look. “Y’damn right he did. He trusts me. You might try t’do likewise, but your opinion ain’t the one that matters most there.”

“Ah do!” blurted Applejack. She blushed. “I mean, ah will.”

“Granny Smith?” said Rainbow Dash.


“You are completely awesome,” said Dash.

Granny shrugged. “Slow damn learner if ya ask me, but I loves my grandcolts AN’ great-grandfilly. It ain’t like you don’t test me all day an’ night. Speakin’ of which…” She glared at Dash. “Ah will second that. Don’t you take that filly a-flyin’ outdoors! Inside’s bad enough.”

“No, it’s okay,” said Dash, “I…”

“Applejack?” said Apple Bloom, looking up from her breakfast.


“What would happen,” said Apple Bloom thoughtfully, “if I needed to borrow the magic bit?”

Three pairs of adult pony eyes widened in startlement.

Dash sniffed the air. She grinned. “Ha!”

Applejack gulped, her ears back. “Don’t know what ta tell ya, Apple Bloom. Uh… you do know bein’ boss mare ain’t about gittin ever’ last thing you want? Least I hope not! It’s been mighty easy, you bein’ Boss Mare, so far. You even sleep in your ol’ room and me and Dashie, we still git the big bedroom with Spy. Ah mean, unless’n you need to change that.”

“I don’t know what I do need to change,” said Apple Bloom. She gazed sideways at Applejack, challengingly.

Granny chuckled, darkly. “Well, well. Followin’ in your sister’s hoofsteps, are ya? Found you a lil’ filly sweetheart? Hmph!”

That got her a glare from Apple Bloom. “Maybe not so much.”

“You sound not thrilled, Granny,” accused Rainbow Dash. “Do we have to dock you some awesomeness points?”

“Oh, hell,” grumbled Granny Smith. She looked over at Dash, shamefaced. “Will you cut me ANY slack, child? You, of all ponies? You’re the only one of my flesh an’ blood to present me with a great-grandfoal, and you AIN’T even of my flesh an’ blood. Exceptin’ that sparky spirit, o’ course.”

Dash blinked. “Oh. Yeah. That’s the problem, huh?”

“Ain’t no problem, dammit!” barked Granny. “Y’all made that clear enough. If Apple Bloom done fall head over hooves in love with another filly, I reckon it must be some sweet lil’ thing an’ I’m sure we will all jes’ love her to bits. You can’t blame me for bein’ sad as yet another pony falls by the wayside, without bringin’ me foals!” She in turn blinked. “Though I reckon you and Applejack give the lie to that assertion, don’tcha? Never you mind this old fool. I’m tryin’ my best, an’ it’s hard to understand.”

Dash’s ears perked up, coming forward from their wary and defensive position. “It’s okay, Granny! You’re awesome and we know you’re trying really hard.” She turned to Apple Bloom. “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine, and you already know that the rest of us can’t wait to meet your new marefriend…”

“It ain’t exactly like how you say,” said Apple Bloom, staring hard at Dash and Applejack. She set her jaw, glowering. “Dang if I can work out how I’m s’posed to tell ya this. This is not gonna be an easy discussion.”

Applejack went white, staring at her sister.

“Oh, sweet Celestia,” she stammered. She gulped, backing away from the table, her ears laid back hard. A tremor shook her… and then she stepped forward again, and her eyes were riveted to Apple Bloom’s, and she said, “Nope.”

Apple Bloom blinked. “I didn’t even tell you what it was yet!”

Applejack gritted her teeth. “You can’t have her. You can’t have Dashie. Ah will take you on. I’ll take it all on again, even if it kills me…”

Apple Bloom’s eyes widened, as did Rainbow’s. Granny rolled hers.

“Wait,” said the Boss Mare filly.

“Come on then!” barked Applejack. “Ah’ll ruin you, little sister, don’t care what it cost me…”

Apple Bloom banged her hoof on the table. “Stop it! I’m not trying to take Rainbow Dash! All I wanted to know was if I could use the magic bit, I never said it was Rainbow I wanted! Ew, she’s like your age!”

Applejack’s ears were splayed out. “Somethin’ wrong with my age?!”

Granny snorted.

“Whaddya mean ‘ew’?” protested Dash, just as dismayed.

“Ah only mean…”

Apple Bloom was interrupted by Granny Smith bursting into loud, braying laughter. She, along with Applejack and Dash, stared at the cackling old pony.

Eventually, she quieted, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “Sweet Celestia, sour apples, and crazy little ponies. Ah will never fear bein’ the most daft horse in this family. My sakes! Thank y’all kindly, I needed that!”

“So what th’ buck is goin’ on, Apple Bloom?” said Applejack. “What’s th’ matter? We all can smell you’re becomin’ a mare. That’s a fine thing and you should be glad, it’s a part of life that’s brought us all a lot of joy. I ain’t sure it extends to loanin’ out a dick. ‘Scuse me, Granny, no offense! What do you WANT from me, anyway?”

“Fly down the stairs!” chimed Northern Spy.

“Not you,” retorted Applejack without missing a beat. “Apple Bloom, what ever is the problem? You can’t think we will be offended that you done fell in love! That is a joyful thing, Ah repeat!” She trotted over, to cuddle Rainbow Dash, whose wings popped cheerfully up in response, and who licked Applejack’s cheek and nuzzled back.

Apple Bloom sulked. “You should stop saying we’re in love.”

“Well now,” said Applejack, “you wants t’ borrow a certain small item, don’t you? How else would you be feelin’?”

“That’s the whole problem. We kind of hate each other,” said Apple Bloom, and Applejack froze.

“Keep a’ talkin’,” she said levelly.

Apple Bloom groaned. “Why does sex have to be so complicated?”

“If it is,” said Applejack, “you’re doin’ it wrong. It’s fine that you’re thinkin’ on it, you should be responsible, but it shouldn’t fret you this way.” She sighed, looking fretful herself.

“Yeah!” added Rainbow Dash. “Take it from us, we’re experts in doing it wrong and getting it too complicated!”

Applejack cuffed her giggling mate with a hoof, and turned to Apple Bloom. “There’s some truth in that, an’ that’s why I don’t want to see you tangled up in somethin’ that’s not right for you. What’s going on, Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom’s head drooped. “I haveta have sex with Diamond Tiara!”

Dash snickered. “Oh my gosh. The one with the little crown? That’s hilarious!”

“Ain’t funny, Rainbow Dash! It’s goin’ all wrong!”

Applejack stamped a hoof. “Settle down! What are you doin’, child? What do you mean it’s all goin’ wrong?”

Then, she caught her breath. Apple Bloom had nailed her with a Boss Mare glare.

“I’m not your child, Applejack. I’m really your sister, and don’t forget it,” said Apple Bloom. “And I need your help, but if I can’t have it I’ll figure this out on my own.”

“But what’s happenin’, sugarcube?” implored Applejack. “Why would you have to have sex with Diamond, if you don’t want to? Why is it makin’ you sad? What in Equestria is goin’ on here?”

Apple Bloom bit her lip, glowering in thought, considering it all. Scootaloo and Sweetie, urging different responses. Her family, supportive but always so vocal about how to do things. And Diamond Tiara, cursing her and her friends, and writhing in the dirt, transported by intense orgasm, that strangely fascinating pink vagina crying out its devotion to her attentions—only the attentions it received were nothing but angry blows. Worst of all, there would be no introducing Diamond as a fillyfriend, because the aristocratic filly loathed even being seen with Apple Bloom or any of her companions—and Apple Bloom had noticed Silver Spoon going around with Featherweight and shunning Tiara, which complicated everything even more. The situation defied description. Apple Bloom was lost for words.

“It’s super complicated,” admitted Apple Bloom. “I guess it won’t make you happy to lend me that bit thing right now?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes, and spoke carefully. “Apple Bloom, you may be our Boss Mare, but you are still an Apple. I cain’t begin to guess what’s goin’ on in your life, and I will do anything I can to help you—but dear heart, givin’ you a magic dick to be with some pony who don’t love you, that ain’t helpin’ you nohow! You got to believe me on that one, an’ I reckon I am adamant on th’ matter. You may not take up loveless dickin’. No Apple ought to be heartless in that way!”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Yeah. You’re confusing the crap out of me, Apple Bloom. I don’t get why you feel you need to do this if you don’t fucking want to! Sorry, Granny?”

“It’s extra super complicated,” mumbled Apple Bloom.

“You’re in season,” pointed out Rainbow Dash. “There’s nothing complicated about that. And I can’t believe any Apple mare would go into puberty and not masturbate.”

Apple Bloom snorted with laughter. “Till mah hoof falls off! If you must know!”

“There you go!” said Dash. “See? You can take care of yourself, don’t rush into stuff, okay? Take it from the expert at rushing in, and also dumb sex stunts. I’m still thinking them up, just ask…” She glanced at Applejack, and shut up. “Sorry, boss.”

“Shush, Dashie,” said Applejack sternly. “We ain’t proper decided yet an’ you know it. We’ll talk about it. No concern of yours, Apple Bloom!”

“But what do you expect me t’ do?” said Apple Bloom. “Not even look? You got any idea th’ things that pony’s up to? Uh, though I tell you I best not be talkin’ about that stuff, I don’t reckon she’d appreciate it none…”

“You jes’ give this Diamond Tiara a wide berth,” encouraged Applejack. “Git your head down and tend to yer knittin’ and don’t you be distracted by her. How hard can it be? I do know that pony won’t set foot on our land if ya paid her, so it should be easy as anything to stay clear.”

“Oh, we’re not paying her, not that way,” said Apple Bloom, “but she starts work here today and she’s working two weeks for us. She got her Dad mad at her, and it’s kind of a punishment.” She felt herself blushing.

Applejack went pale again. “…and so that’s why you are fixin’ to fuck that girl, Apple Bloom? With OUR magic bit?”

“Thought maybe it would help…”

“Aw HELL naw!” insisted Applejack. “What th’ hay is this? Diamond Tiara is comin’ on the farm?”

Apple Bloom snorted with laughter again, but wouldn’t meet Applejack’s eye. Rainbow Dash chimed in. “Uh, I’m not sure who you’ve been talking to, but sex isn’t punishment. Unless you really suck at it, and I kind of doubt that.”

“Ya can’t bring a girl on as a farm helper in order to fuck her!” yelled Applejack.

“Ah wouldn’t!” retorted Apple Bloom. “It ain’t like that either, it’s jes’… complicated! I can handle this. I’ll figure it out. Ah would never use a farm worker jes’ for my pleasure!”

“Your Ma did,” observed Granny Smith quietly, and Applejack and Dash turned to stare at her. “Well, she did. Jes’ sayin’.”

“WE don’t carry on like that,” declared Applejack.

“An’ I ain’t carryin’ on like that neither!” swore Apple Bloom. “Ah understands you ain’t lendin’ me no magic bit. Noted! Ah will make sense of this-all without your help, and then you’ll understand!” Her ears were splayed in perplexity. “Assumin’ of course that AH kin…”

“Oh, Apple Bloom,” sighed Applejack. “You have our help! But you won’t talk to us, and you say you and this girl hate each other yet you’re plannin’ sexin’s anyhoof… Please be safe, all right? Please be kind. You know how to be, Ah simply asks you to be that, with all your good heart. Ah won’t order you, I cain’t do that no more, but I do ask.”

Apple Bloom met her eye with a firm gaze. “I will be kind. I swear it! Don’t you think Ah’m tryin’ to be kind?”

“Ah would have thought so,” said Applejack uncertainly.

“Believe it,” said Apple Bloom, stamping her hoof. “I will do my best!”

“Kick ass!” encouraged Rainbow Dash. Apple Bloom winced, and hung onto her grin for dear life, and carefully said nothing more.

Somehow, she didn’t think her family would be much good in situations where kicking a pony’s ass and being kind were one and the same…

Diamond Tiara was exactly on time. She’d arrived two minutes early, not deigning to speak to the puzzled farm-ponies, her mane perfectly groomed and her little pink nose in the air. She did not even move as she saw Apple Bloom approach, though a farm pony behind her glanced under her tail with interest and raised eyebrows.

“Hah ya doin’, Diamond?” greeted Apple Bloom.

“I hate you with the fury of a thousand burning suns,” replied Diamond Tiara in a cold, clear voice.

Farm ponies jerked to alertness, startled, staring at their Boss Mare and the newcomer who so rudely challenged her, anxiously awaiting the inevitable response.

They watched, as Apple Bloom nosed at, then ate a daisy by the gate of the south fields. She seemed unhurried, as if she hadn’t heard the remark, and then she lifted her head and her gaze was weary and mild.

“That would be WHAT you’re doin’, Diamond, and that weren’t my question. Was it? Let’s try that again. How ya doin’, Diamond Tiara?”

“These stupid farm ponies will bear witness to the crimes you commit today,” said Diamond Tiara.

Apple Bloom’s ear flicked, just a bit.

“Now, that would be what I AIN’T doin’, ya silly pony,” replied Apple Bloom. “Can’t you answer a simple question?”

Diamond Tiara was wobbling, slightly. “Mark my words! Mark them well!”

Apple Bloom looked her hard in the eye. Several farm ponies looked her hard under the tail. Diamond Tiara’s chin was high, and so was her tail. She seemed completely unconcerned by this, for her story seemed already worked out, with Apple Bloom already guilty and in the dock.

The farm ponies milled about, trying not to look like they were lining up behind Diamond Tiara. They were only gawking, but Apple Bloom’s mouth tightened.

“Come with me, Diamond. We gone have a lil’ TALK.”

Diamond smirked, looking around at the watching farm ponies. “Riiiight. A likely story, you beast. You… aiiigh! Not the ear, not the EAR!”

It was no use. Apple Bloom had lunged and seized her ear firmly between Boss Mare teeth, and was dragging her rapidly away from the scene. The farm ponies grinned, for it meant two things. One was their Boss Mare’s business, but the other was an unscheduled break they were happy to take. They turned to grazing on daisies and grass as Apple Bloom struggled onward.

“Let GO!”

“Y’ comin’?” snarled Apple Bloom. “No b’ck talk!”

“Very well! You monster!” wailed Diamond.

Apple Bloom let go of her ear, warily, but Tiara wasn’t lying: she trotted along beside Apple Bloom with a delightful little trot, her lips parted, her eyes dancing with some terrible glee. Apple Bloom didn’t stop until they’d reached the far part of the west fields, the little dell surrounded by trees and hills. There, she turned and faced Diamond Tiara, who gazed scornfully back at her.

“I will tell them everything, do you understand? You can literally drag me off and have your way with me, but justice will prevail and all of Ponyville will know you as a wretch who preys upon and molests innocent young…”

“Them’s farm boys, back there,” said Apple Bloom flatly.

“And I am sure they would protect my honor, except that oh yes, their ‘Boss’ was the one plotting dreadful liberties with one of their fellow…”

“They’d bust you in two!” snarled Apple Bloom. “Why do I git the idea that you don’t understand th’ situation?”

Diamond Tiara wobbled more. “I had the impression they were cowering behind me, purportedly from you. Are you telling me they, they were about to…”

Apple Bloom stamped a hoof, disgusted. “Naw. Not yet, they weren’t. I got you the buck out of there, and they know better. An’ I expected better from you, Diamond Tiara! Ain’t you got no sense?”

Diamond bared her teeth. “Oh, I have exemplary sense. I’m a pony of consequence. But I’m sentenced to a simply horrible fate! Bad enough to be subject to your molestations, but now you tell me that all the farm ponies, those big strong fellows, were prepared to seize me and…” She wobbled, again, not focussing on Apple Bloom too well. She gulped. “ALL of them?”

“Didja blow off some steam before you came here,” demanded Apple Bloom, “or did you save it all up to disrupt our damn work day? Damn it, Tiara, what are we-all gonna DO with you?”

Diamond swooned and fell over. Apple Bloom regarded her sadly.

“That was what you might call a ree-torical question…”

Tiara panted, sprawled on the ground. “Do your worst! Beast! Monster! Rapist!”

Apple Bloom sat back, and crossed her forelegs.


At this, her nemesis thrashed, and jumped to her hooves again, crying “What do you MEAN, ‘no’?”

“Ah mean, no,” said Apple Bloom. “How dumb do you think I am? You ain’t goin’ back and seduce them farm ponies. It’s bad for discipline and it would do you serious injury, you dumb horny filly, and I ain’t gonna be responsible! We’re gonna sit right here until you talk sense!”

Diamond squealed in rage. “You are! You are responsible for every desecration of my person, for all of this! You’re responsible for those big strong farm ponies as well, and you’ve probably told them all to rape me in turn, haven’t you? You’re running a filthy horrible farm of iniquity that my father never dreamed of, and it’s all your fault, and I am a helpless pawn in your sick, perverted game!” She panted, glaring.

Apple Bloom yawned. “Naw,” she said. “Cain’t help your fantasies. You oughta talk with Sweetie Belle some time, she’d be really interested. But me? Naw. Ah quit. You’re doin’ this all wrong and I won’t have it. Ah’ll jes’ set here a spell.”

Diamond stalked closer, though her gait was unsteady. “Lying, foul, flea-ridden degenerate corrupter of youth and innocence…”

Apple Bloom guffawed, unkindly. “Hah! Innocence? You? Horseapples. We kin get honest, or you can continue to talk crap. Your choice.”

“None of this is my choice,” hissed Diamond Tiara. “All of it is your fault.”

Apple Bloom regarded her sadly. “I reckon I kin relate to some of that. My friends all went crazy on me, with all sexin’ and th’ oozy mare-holes, long before I had any urges. It sure din’t seem like they had a choice, and then when I did start to understand ‘em it weren’t in the best of ways. Yeah, it kinda ain’t your choice to go pursuin’ me like some bitch dog in heat. Howsomever… it AIN’T my fault.”

“You started it!”

Apple Bloom shook her head. “I reckon your body started it, an’ my temper lit th’ fuse. Happens that your body made quite an impression, and I see my temper done made jes’ as big an impression. But I ain’t runnin’ with my temper no more, Diamond Tiara. Ah refuse.”

“Oh?” demanded Diamond. “What does that mean?”

“No more spankin’s, Diamond. And you ain’t gonna go off with them farm ponies, Applejack would kill me and your father would kill you an’ me both and it wouldn’t take long on account of ya might be so bad hurt that you wouldn’t take much killin’. Them boys is officially off limits, missy, and furthermore you are not allowed to seek out spankings just to stimulate your lil’ pony pussy without no guilt. Ah’m onto ya.”

“Seek out?” cried Diamond shrilly. “Seek out? You’re attacking me at every turn! And now I’m working on a farm for two weeks, and it’s Sexual Harassment Farm! It’s horrible!”

“Nope,” said Apple Bloom staunchly, her forelegs folded, her ears laid back. She set her jaw.

“You’re rationalizing your predatory behavior!” yelled Diamond Tiara, in her face. “I’m going to tell the whole town about how I was simply minding my own business, and you repeatedly attacked me and sated your hideous urges upon my innocent body!”

Apple Bloom’s face transformed with sudden rage. Her forelegs unfolded as if readying a sudden blow, and she roared, “WHY I OUGHTA…”

Diamond Tiara realized, through a haze of whirling heat and dizziness, that she was crouching and staring at a thistle. Nothing happened, nothing at all.

Slowly, she raised her head and looked back along her trembling body, feeling her vagina pout and wink hysterically.

Apple Bloom sat, not budging, forelegs crossed again, staring down her quivering pink ass. Her body was winking and dripping shamefully at the confounded filly, who remained unmoved.

Apple Bloom lifted an eyebrow.

“Innocent body. Yep. Sure is…”

Diamond Tiara tried to speak, but she was shaking too hard and her mouth had gone dry and no words would come. She was trapped, busted, exposed. Not only to Apple Bloom—but to herself.

“So since that is such an innocent body,” said Apple Bloom, “and all that goop apparently got nothin’ to do with wanting to git fucked and mus’ be some form of pony pox… you might want to get that looked at, looks like a perty fierce case of pox ta me…”

Diamond Tiara tried to gulp, but her throat was too dry and she could only make a pitiful croak.

“Well, then, Ah will just set here doin’ nothin’ at all, on account of I was jes’ mindin’ my own business, an’ what did you THINK I was about to do, missy?”

“Please!” croaked Diamond Tiara, going scarlet in the face.

Apple Bloom’s ears perked forward. Her heart began to beat faster.

“Now what does that mean, please? I’m pleased enough jes’ settin’ here on such a fine day. Surely you with the innocent body kin take in the breezes, by which I don’t mean th’ breeze blowin’ up that,” and Apple Bloom swallowed, “small but gapin’ hoo-ha—all’s I mean is, the country breezes in our nice quiet field.”

Diamond Tiara’s ears were laid back so hard they were flat against her head. She was staring right into Apple Bloom’s eyes, and knew she was completely outmaneuvered, and stranded in a distant field with nopony else around. Just herself, her screaming seething vagina, and the pony who’d tricked her into complete exposure and now sat there torturing her and gloating.

“Please… hit me there.”

Apple Bloom didn’t move. “We got us a problem, Diamond Tiara. That ain’t the Apple way of love.”

“Well, I hate you, so fucking hit me, curse you!”

“Nothin’ doin’. Maybe this is what you call a teachable moment,” said Apple Bloom. Her heart was pounding pretty good, and she considered backing away, because she couldn’t take her eyes off that vagina. It looked good enough to eat, and every little contour and shape jumped out and insinuated its way into her increasingly fevered dreams, and she had never had so much time just to stare and stare, before. She had a sneaking feeling that Diamond wasn’t the only one being profoundly affected by the intensity of these first experiences. “Maybe this is a time to teach you how ya do.”

“You dreadful little horse…”

“That ain’t no way to talk to th’ pony who wants to help you feel better,” said Apple Bloom sternly.

“You only want to desecrate me!” wailed Diamond Tiara. “And it’s infected me somehow and I’ve become horrible!”

“Horseapples!” barked Apple Bloom. “You ain’t horrible! You’re jes’ sexy! Um, I mean, you’re sexual! My point bein’ there’s nothin’ wrong with your body doing this!”

Diamond Tiara stared with desperate intensity at Apple Bloom. “You just totally said I was sexy! You did, I heard you! Don’t lie, I know you want to do things to me, filthy awful strange things and I, I… Please do them. I don’t care if you hit me anymore, just do something, you wretch, quickly!”

“You got to stop callin’ me names like that,” said Apple Bloom, “it ain’t nice…”

“You’re not nice. Touch me. Don’t you dare ever tell anypony I’ve lowered myself to this!”

Apple Bloom gulped, looking sick. “Ah could say th’ same thing back at’cha. I’m thinkin’ I best teach you how to use your hoof to get some relief…”

“My hoof? MY hoof?” wailed Diamond. “Ew! I just had a hooficure, I refuse! You have to touch me, why won’t you touch me, why are you so stubborn, why can’t you just give me a few good whacks like you did before?”

“No way, missy! No way! Not from this Apple!”

Diamond wobbled. “You have to use your hoof. Do it! Do it or I’ll die, right here, die I tell you!”

“You are the craziest, dumbest pony, Diamond Tiara! Ponies don’t die from horny. Ah reckon it’s some of them weasels an’ things that do. I heard that some of them, if they don’t get sexin’ their hoo-has swell up and they die.”

“Look at me,” commanded Diamond.

Apple Bloom gulped. “Um.” The pink pony vagina she stared at was engorged with arousal to a shocking extent. It seemed oddly small, but poked out like her whole vulva had a hard-on, and it kept winking desperately away, rosy clitoris poking out again and again begging for a touch, glistening with mating fluids. It was simultaneously shockingly gross and alien, and stunningly compelling and alluring—and undoubtedly, it was swelled up, compared to normal.

“I will die,” pleaded Diamond. “I will! Don’t ask me to sully my hoof, just rub me, will you? Since you won’t smack me. Anything!”

Apple Bloom bit her lip. “Um. While it’s true I whacked ya not once but twice, I ain’t sure what you might call the best move is, here…”

“I’ll kill you! I’ll hunt you down and destroy everything you know, I’ll make your life a living hell!”

Apple Bloom looked sicker. “Y’see, that there’s kinda the problem, missy.”

Diamond Tiara’s face twisted—and then she began to cry. “Haaaaaaahh…”

“Aw crap!” said Apple Bloom, and rushed around to Diamond’s head, rearing, hugging her. “Now you settle down!”

Diamond whooped, wailed, wobbled; hyperventilating, helpless, hysterical.

“Now you lay down,” urged Apple Bloom, “lay down afore y’ FALL down, that’s right… oof! There ya go.” She lay in the lovely fresh grass, spooning Diamond Tiara, hugging her tightly. “It’s okay! It’s okay. Breathe, by which I mean not that crazy-ass pantin’, sugar.”

Diamond shook, and her body was feverish against Apple Bloom’s, and she couldn’t stop bawling. “Haaaaaahhh!”

“You’re okay! It’s gonna be okay, Diamond. Dang, you gits it fierce. Gosh…”

“Nopony can see us, ever! Haaaaahh! I hate you! Hide me! Touch me!”

Apple Bloom’s ears were laid back hard. “That again? No ma’am, but here’s what you must do.” She began to try to wrestle Diamond’s forehoof down between her legs.

“No! Beast! I won’t! You have to do it! I had a HOOFICURRRE!” wailed Tiara.

“Oh, you won’t, will you?”


Apple Bloom gradually began to smile a grim, amused smile, staring past Tiara off into the distance.

“Like hell you won’t. Once you know, you will, missy, and all our lives will be a mite easier. This won’t take long.”

“Monster!” panted Diamond Tiara, her eyes wild and slightly glazed.

“Here comes yer monster,” said Apple Bloom. “I’mma go nice and slow, an’ you pay attention. Your hoof goes like this, and I bet you twenty-five zap apples you’re doin’ it again before tomorrow’s dawn breaks, hooficure be damned…”

Apple Bloom never forgot the glorious, breathless shriek Diamond Tiara let out as she felt country pony hoof reaching down between her legs, across those pert nubs of breasts and beyond.

The feel of Tiara’s body shuddering roughly. The pressure of Tiara’s forelegs, clutching hers as it reached, grabbing on with such ferocity and hanging on for dear life…

Apple Bloom’s heart hammered away as she reached down between Diamond Tiara’s hind legs, and began to fondle that small, fevered pink mound that had haunted her thoughts.

For a moment—just a moment, just the space of a breath—she wondered what in Equestria she’d done, hearing stubborn furious silence, feeling Tiara’s body go so dreadfully tense, and Apple Bloom hung suspended in the yawning void of her choice, unsure. Then…


Apple Bloom grinned and clung to Diamond, one foreleg drawing her closer and the other pinning the squealing filly against her own belly, for the elegant little Tiara was transformed: writhing like a maddened piglet, tail thrashing against Apple Bloom’s tits and crotch, body convulsed with brutally intense orgasm, but this time Apple Bloom wasn’t staring down at her as she spasmed helplessly in the dirt. This time she was on a bed of cozy grass in the Apples’ finest field, this time she was cuddled in loving forelegs, and this time Apple Bloom’s whole body was pressed against her, able to feel every savage delicious jolt—and provoke them.

This time, Apple Bloom breathed hard, nuzzling into Diamond’s mane, hoof hungrily exploring the tender softnesses tucked away between Tiara’s thighs. This time, she wasn’t watching Diamond ooze onto uncaring soil, but her own hoof was wettened with the pink filly’s aristocratic juices—and the amazing thing was how long Tiara kept going, so spectacularly long, so gloriously wanton, the guttural shrieks and howls of raw pleasure so beyond anything even Scootaloo and Sweetie had hinted at.

Apple Bloom began humping Diamond’s quivering ass even as she fondled with increasing fervor, and she clung to Diamond in spite of that bestial writhing, stunned by the contrast. The prim little filly had exploded under country pony caresses, and neither would ever be the same. Apple Bloom knew it in her gut. She’d been fascinated already, even seeing only the resistance and the uptight snotty little brat Tiara could be. Now, she held a horny, squirming pony close to her and ground her crotch against that pony’s quivering rump and reached back to massage that pony’s outrageously responsive and exquisitely attractive pert pink vagina, and her whole psyche poured itself into the act of pleasuring, the greedy seizing of a sexy body and the delivering of a boldly unrestrained erotic punch that was fully and ecstatically received.

And the recipient, impossibly, unbelievably, was Diamond Tiara.

Apple Bloom came, herself, with Tiara’s tail rubbing aggressively against her pony breasts and tickling her aroused clit. She, in turn, strained Diamond to her with country-mare strength and growled as she churned Diamond to a shrieking climax using only her hoof, a blow-off that echoed from the distant tree line and burned itself into her memory, and kept going and going heedlessly as long as Diamond could, seemingly forever…

Finally, Apple Bloom relented. Her hoof was getting weary, and she was damned if she could beat the crazy writhing piglet, who could take apparently anything she could dish out without crying ‘enough’. She could hear Diamond had blown her voice to crap with screaming, and she could feel that Diamond was absolutely limp and wrung out. Apple Bloom quit masturbating her, and let her rest.

Diamond gasped for air, leaning back against Apple Bloom’s nuzzling, and even then she did not dissuade, even then she clung to Apple Bloom’s foreleg, holding it there as if she hoped for just another few seconds of that ecstacy. But the strength had gone out of her clutching grasp, and her own foreleg sagged to lie against the lovely clean grass, bonelessly relaxed. Diamond Tiara sprawled, reduced to absolute jelly by her arch-nemesis, unable to even pretend she wasn’t filled with utter joy.

Apple Bloom panted, her body glowing and sweating in the sun.

Diamond glistened, for she’d been seized by paroxysms of orgasms that racked her exhaustingly for close to a minute, nearly to her physical destruction, and she was drenched in sweat and her own fluids. Dazedly, she looked out across the field, at chirping birds and hopping crickets and a little brook. That would become useful, when she could walk, she thought. If ever.

Apple Bloom gathered her thoughts, looking down across that dainty pink body while she still spooned it close… the gelatinous and sated Diamond Tiara, her own hoofiwork. The words that came to mind might not have been appropriate, but damned if she could resist them. “Now that’s how we do it down here on the farm…”

Tiara gazed back over her shoulder at Apple Bloom, in awe and disbelief. Apple Bloom stayed firmly pressed against her, curled around her trim posterior, embracing her warmly, still strong and unwearied. Her awe warred with her innate contempt, making a very strange expression, and she kept staring and staring as if trying to comprehend what she saw.

Apple Bloom gulped. “Uh, which ain’t to say you gotta do it down here on the farm. Or that I gotta do it to you! Ah tole you, now that you know, you’re gonna be doin’ that for yourself. Got it? Prob’ly ain’t good for me to do it…”

Tiara’s forelegs clasped hers tighter, refusing to let go.

“Well all right,” admitted Apple Bloom. “So I was good at it, what did you expect? Maybe sometimes. Not while we’re workin’! Ah jes’ hope we have settled some things, okay? We clear now?”

Diamond Tiara fought back the reaction she’d had, and clutched Apple Bloom’s foreleg less tightly. She continued to gaze back over her shoulder in seeming astonishment, and then her ears came forward and her eyes continued to drink Apple Bloom in, and an obvious satisfaction entered her expression. It was so obviously an epiphany, the dawning of a wonderful new idea in Tiara’s keen mind.

Apple Bloom’s own ears began to lay back, seeing it, for there was something funny about it. For all that she’d reduced Diamond Tiara to a quivering piglet of lust, something in those eyes told her that she hadn’t changed the filly as much as she’d hoped.

“Uhhh…” she said. “So… we done with that hate talk, sugar? Dare Ah say it, maybe we can be a lil’ more about love in these parts? It might be against my better judgement, but all th’ same it ain’t nopony’s business but mine, ain’t it?”

Diamond’s keen eyes studied her, even as that smile worried her.

“Why should I hate you now?” Tiara said. She rested for a second gathering her breath, and added, “Don’t you know what I’ve gained today? It was unexpected, but at last I understand how things must be, and everything is just perfect.”

Apple Bloom stared nervously into those glittering, serene eyes. “Now that you got a marefriend, y’mean?”

Diamond Tiara quit struggling to hold her head up, and nestled it back against Apple Bloom’s chin, closing her eyes in bliss, reclining in that sturdy, dutiful embrace.

“Now I have TWO servants.”

Apple Bloom’s jaw dropped in horror.