Road Trip

Twilight pouted, refusing to be soothed.

Her companion cleared a regal throat. “Please, Twilight, be reasonable.”

“I am being reasonable!” objected her cranky Sparkle. “This is Ponyville, can’t we have some respect for our ways?”

“Not by default!” said Princess Celestia. “Respect is earned, and in this case dearly bought. I would love to see the Kirin appreciate you and Trixie, honestly I would. But you’ve only managed to insult her!”

“Good,” retorted Twilight. “Maybe it’s just the shock she needs. I didn’t forget what you told me. They stamp out unicorns that magemeld, in Neighpon, and you don’t even see a problem with it.”

Celestia bowed her head. “I’m sorry, Twilight. Must I remind you of the history? It seems their unicorns didn’t seek that power for good. Since those days, they have not sought to reclaim the knowledge: far from it, they celebrate their Kirin as deliverers, their shield against all manner of threat. Both from without… and within.” She gave Twilight a stern look.

“How threatening could magemelds be?”

Celestia frowned. “I don’t wish to bring up unpleasant memories, but… perhaps you remember a sad occasion where you charged, horn-first, only to encounter an unexpected Fluttershy and an abrupt return to mortality?”

Twilight met her gaze. “Gee, that’s a tough one. I get so many abrupt returns to mortality! Every other Wednesday, it’s ascension, casting down, ascension, casting down… How tiresome for us all!”

Celestia winced. “Sorry. But you see my point? No, ah, pun intended?”

“I don’t…” said Twilight, and then blinked. “Oh. Really? Neighponnese unicorns did magemelds to cast more powerful deathbolts? You’re kidding.”

“No!” protested Celestia. “Not exactly. I wouldn’t put it past them, though. Twilight, the Neighponnese unicorns, particularly stallions, would have their horns sharpened. They did battle that way, in the old days. I was there. It’s true.”

Twilight’s face had gone violet-green. “Eurgh. Really? But how… I mean, if it went wrong, it could SNAP… ugh!”

“Oh, yes,” said Celestia. “I saw that too. Tragic, and best consigned to the past.”

“I take it you straightened them out?” said Twilight.

“Indeed, no,” said Celestia. “Their Kirin led them away from those dark times. Sometimes harshly, sometimes kindly. Aggressive Neighponnese unicorn stallions can be stubborn and fierce. My point being, it’s this aggressive nature that came into play when they learned to magemeld. It’s possible there would have been scholars eventually, but the Neighponnese revere warriors… and their Kirin, and the elderly. If I understand correctly, it was a band of elderly warriors who first mastered the magemeld. You must believe me that they were a threat, and that the Kirin weren’t wrong in seeing them as one. Those days are long past, but still Kirin mistrust use of the magemeld by anyone but themselves.”

Twilight was silent, gazing into space.

“Princess?” she said at last. “How can you be sure? I’d like to believe you…”

“I’d like you to believe me too,” teased Celestia. “Sadly, I can’t take you thousands of years into the past to show you. Nopony has that power… not even Swirlie managed it, and he tried terribly hard.”

“I’d like to believe you,” insisted Twilight with a toss of her mane, “but here’s the problem: how can you talk of goodness like it’s a tangible thing? I didn’t know these Neighponnese unicorns. It sounds like they were the villains and the Kirin were the good ones, but it’s the Kirin telling us that, and also telling us they have like magical powers to be good and sense evil. You’ve got to admit that’s a little too convenient. How do you know?”

“Remember, I was there,” said Celestia. “I’ll tell you how I knew. I think you’d like it. It seems very much your style.”

“Oh?” said Twilight.

“Study,” said Princess Celestia, and waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oooh,” said Twilight, smirking. “You know me well. Bring it on! Though… you’re teasing me, Princess, because you know my weaknesses. Maybe you’re even trying to weasel out of the explanation by making me excited?”

“I do have you alone,” suggested Celestia. “Your Trixie’s gone off with Chaos to do things I’m sure we’d rather not hear about. Making you excited is not an unfitting state for a beloved unicorn consort.”

Twilight smirked again, but narrowed her eyes. “Agreed. I do wonder something, though. You studied these unicorns and Kirin. You’ve also told me the warrior unicorns could be fierce, sharpening their horns, attacking other ponies. If you studied them… do you mean to say you did nothing, while they acted with cruelty, all while the Kirin hunted them down? ‘Cause I think I can believe that, but it’s still a side of you I don’t often see.”

Celestia’s eyes had widened. “Oh, dear. How do you want me to answer, Twilight Sparkle? You cut to the heart of things, even without the use of alicorn deathbolts.”

“With the truth,” said Twilight, giving Celestia a little kiss on the muzzle. “I want to know how it was. Did you just let them suffer? And die?”

Celestia looked uncomfortable. “I must needs remind you I was but a guest. I’ve not returned to Neighpon since that time. We conduct diplomatic relations, and of course Neighponnese ponies can even come here to live, and I’m sure you’ve met Vinyl Scratch: she’s performed at quite a few castle functions and I’ve seen you dancing to her, ah, ‘beats’. I think she relishes the freedom of Equestria, and of course the great friendship she has with Octavia…”

“When you studied Neighpon,” pressed Twilight, “did you just watch them and do nothing?”

“Yes, Twilight,” said Celestia. “At the request of the Kirin. They are, to a Kirin, very convinced of their rightness, and they didn’t want interference. One explained to me the importance of tending their ponies, directing their fierceness and aggression in helpful ways. He used, as an example, those little tiny trees they grow: bound with stiff wires, to take on forms of beauty, in which they can grow throughout long and pampered lives without further direction. He seemed so certain that I wouldn’t understand the Neighponnese unicorn. I’m not sure the Kirin would have fought me had I insisted upon meddling. We never tested that, for I did nothing. I studied, and the Kirin continued to be Kirin.”

“And?” said Twilight, quirking an ear.

“That’s how I know,” said Celestia, simply. “They might have fooled me for a while, but I gave them ample opportunity to reveal their true selves, and so they did. They’re good creatures. Indeed, I learned much from them… perhaps too much. I am not a Kirin, Twilight. I spent century after century, tending my ponies with love and what we might consider artistic intentions: I’d lost Starswirl, and a part of me wished to behave like a magical creature that would find no mate other than those like myself. But there aren’t male alicorns… so I became chaste. Aloof, benevolent, untouchable… I fear I was foolish for thousands of years, but we’ve been over that.”

Twilight nodded. “You studied Kirin for pony lifetimes, that’s how you know them?”


“But this one’s come to Ponyville as a sex tourist,” pointed out Twilight. “How could they have taught you to be so sexless when they can be so randy?”

Celestia sagged. “I think the operative words there, Twilight, are ‘come to Ponyville’. Might I suggest that she could hardly have picked a randier place to visit? I’m sure we wouldn’t have it any other way. I believe Vinyl Scratch also migrated here for similar reasons. The Kirin are fairly tolerant of wanton behavior, but perhaps a little dismissive. They don’t exactly embrace their animal natures, and when they do, I’m not surprised they leave home to do it.”

Twilight mulled this over. “So… in Neighpon, do they get up to crazy repressed sex stuff? Like Ponyville did, when you were more uptight?”

Celestia gave her a narrowed-eyed glance. “If they do, it’s on sufferance of their Kirin. I didn’t see any, but I may say I wasn’t looking, at the time. Why are you making a face, Twilight?”

“I am?” squeaked Twilight. “Sorry! I just… something about it seems wrong to me. What do you mean, if they do? I’ve seen Vinyl Scratch. They say she’s really wild! I’m just trying to square the Kirin being as good as you say, with this… repressive regime thing you’re telling me about.”

“Repressive? Nay!” protested Celestia. “I tell you, they are staunch and trustworthy beyond belief! How can I convey the influence they… listen, Twilight. Though in some ways I have moved on, still my life was for thousands of years influenced by the Kirin.” She gulped. “And, though I say it, you loved me just the same. Please understand that I, in a way, loved the Kirin just as well…”

Twilight gazed into her eyes. “Hey.”


“I LOVE you just the same,” corrected Twilight, with easy authority. “None of this past tense business.”

Celestia’s eyes brimmed with sentimental tears. “Oh, Twilight Sparkle!”

“Even when you’re bad,” added Twilight, smirking.

That broke the sentiment. Celestia gasped. “Twilight! I am not bad, prithee! What on earth do you mean?”

Instead of answering, Twilight smirked again… then lazily rolled on her back, splaying her legs and flicking her tail coquettishly. She twisted around and grinned at her Princess, upside-down, as Celestia stared at the manifold lavender delights there for the savoring.

“Okay,” said Twilight. “Even when you’re silly.” She wriggled, and her dainty unicorn pussy winked at her royal lover.

Celestia gulped again, unable to look away. Her heart pounded, as it hadn’t in previous centuries, and her mind was a whirl of present, past and future. The years of raising the exceptional little filly, the responsibility, the refusal to admit things to herself even as Twilight grew into a devastatingly enticing, self-possessed young unicorn mare… the unwitting lessons she’d taught her charge, the emotions as Twilight found a marefriend, the impressive chaos and barely-averted carnage as her own pent-up feelings and Twilight’s came into conflict… and, eventually, as true ponies would always do, the finding a path through the unhappiness to acceptance and friendship. More-than-friendship… as was lurking, all along.

“Silly, yes,” admitted Princess Celestia. “You forgive me?”

Twilight smirked, upside-down. “Mmmmmaybe? How about you show me how much you’ve learned?”

Princess Celestia’s smile began to grow wider and wider. “Beloved consort! Darling baby unicorn sweetie pie! Indeed I have learned some important things. You just lay back,” she suggested while her horn lit and a small metal cylinder flashed through the air toward her, “and I would be immeasurably delighted to…”

She stopped. Twilight’s horn had lit, also, and had grabbed for the bit. Though Celestia could easily wrest it from Twilight’s grasp, though Twilight was still smiling cutely, Celestia hesitated.

“This is not what you wish?” she asked, with the hint of a royal pout.

“Maybe not like that,” said Twilight. “Right now, I don’t want to be your cute little unicorn pet, okay? We’re using a tool me and Trixie invented—at least this version. We’ve been talking about the Kirin, and they keep their ponies like they’re pets or children, and they had you acting like them for centuries. Yes, fuck me, nothing would make me happier, but not so much with the little sweetie stuff? I might not be an alicorn anymore, but let me feel my power. We both know I’m not your filly anymore.”

Celestia gazed at her. “That is so true. It applies to your Trixie, as well. I might even say it applies to all the Ponyville ponies. I’ve learned to respect your strengths, once I started paying attention. I’ve learned. Haven’t I?”

Twilight nodded. “I love you, Princess. I’m ready.”

“Are you?” purred Celestia, with a tilt of her head and a glint of the eye.

“Oh my gosh are you gonna plow me real hard?” squeaked Twilight. “Wow! Hold on a moment…” She began clopping herself with a hoof, hastily.

“If you wish,” said Princess Celestia, taken aback. “You need only ask. But… well…”

“Well what?” blinked Twilight.

Instead of answering, Celestia relinquished the magic bit, laying it gently on the bedspread. Then she rolled over, her massive elegant form rotating until she’d taken a pose just like Twilight’s. Her head was more laid on its side, as her mighty horn limited her posture, but her long, supple hind legs splayed wantonly just as Twilight’s lavender limbs had.

Twilight gawked at the display, as the huge powerful alicorn who’d so often taken a bit and reduced her to mare jelly, wriggled decorously in turn, the play of muscle beneath her silky coat sheer poetry in motion.

Celestia’s elegant pussy winked, and Twilight’s jaw dangled.

Celestia pouted, after a moment. “You need not, if you do not wish. I only thought you would enjoy feeling your power…”

Twilight reeled in her jaw. “Um… I know what you like, Princess. Unless we’re going to bring Chaos in and transform me, I have to say I’m just not going to be able to make a dick that would impress you. I mean… you’ve seen it! Haven’t you?”

Celestia’s expression darkened, and she snorted. “Of course I have! I know exactly what my beloved is packing.”


“I don’t care. Touch me, beloved,” said Celestia, and wriggled again, winking.

The smile that grew on Twilight’s face was worth the effort. For a moment, she resembled a filly on Hearth’s Warming morning, veritably squeeing with excitement. Then, her expression composed itself, and though the smile remained it grew more and more confident, powerful, proud.

“You know,” said Twilight Sparkle, “I think I will.”

Unhurriedly, Twilight rolled over and got to her hooves. She slunk across the royal-sized bed, hooves sinking into the softness of the mattress, and lowered her head, Celestia watching her closely—then moaning, as Twilight’s nose nuzzled her alabaster mound.

The cute little pink unicorn tongue emerged, to lick teasingly at the thrusting emergence of Celestia’s mighty clit. The Princess held her breath. Naughty Twilight had once suckled so hard on that prong that pony teeth had got involved, and ended up dangling by her mane and being scolded: Celestia tolerated much, but certain things counted as lese majeste, at least to the point of a scolding. Not a spanking, for both Twilight and Trixie treated that as foreplay.

This time, there was no sucking, no nibbling much less biting. Celestia winked once, twice, answered only by affectionate licks. And then Twilight was back across the bed, her horn lighting, the magic bit hovering and then clamped between her teeth.

She turned, and awkwardly reared in spite of the unsteady footing. She kicked the air with forehooves in mocking ferocity, but her grin around the metal bit suggested she saw the humor in that posturing. Far from putting the fear of cock in the hapless Princess and shocking her system, Twilight had to wonder if Celestia would properly feel her at all. Yet, she advanced, the lovely slender violet ponycock jutting bravely from between her legs, the curiously narrow flare already stiffening.

She was upon Celestia, who curled her legs back invitingly. Twilight grinned down upon her royal lover with her chin held high, and without a pretense of warming the mighty alicorn pussy up, Twilight thrust.

Celestia moaned, again, and Twilight’s grin widened as she drank in the Princess’s pleasure. Soon, her tactics were obvious.

Though Twilight’s hips swayed and plunged in a dreamy tempo, she barely made any attempt to plunge deep into her lover. Once, to see what it was like, she thrust to the hilt and pressed her crotch against Celestia’s mound good and hard, feeling the alabaster pussy clamp down urgently upon her… but as expected, Twilight’s cock was adrift in a sea of Princess-pussy and she didn’t bother trying to impress with her length or girth again. Even with Trixie, Twilight found herself the dainty one, and inside Celestia the size mismatch was considerable… and yet, Twilight’s grin didn’t flag, for she had something else in mind.

Earnestly, Twilight began fondling Celestia’s vagina from the inside, thrusting and twisting and angling herself to savor every inch she could touch.

Celestia’s eyes widened, then grew luminous and quivery as she took in Twilight’s exultant gaze… and she melted, giving in to the obvious sensuality of that erotic touching. Not since Chaos had turned into a strange pink creature with fingers had a slender prong caressed and fondled Celestia’s insides so intently. Twilight’s magic-induced erection didn’t bend or curl up, but all the same it reached into Celestia and touched, stroked, explored.

Twilight’s teeth were bared slightly as her hips complained. She ignored them. It was more important to manipulate her angle, to feel Celestia’s body shudder as she rubbed her flare against the top wall of Celestia’s fevered pussy, so juicy and wet, with rude and wonderful noises emerging from between them like stirring a pot of particularly squishy jam.

Celestia was trying to clamp down, trying to be tight for Twilight and more closely resemble a mortal mare. Twilight noticed, and gently cuffed her barrel with the back of a hoof, giving just the suggestion of a headshake, and the Princess relented and allowed herself to relax. Twilight went on stirring the glorious royal vagina, glorying in each little shudder and spasm she produced.

It seemed that when she angled herself a certain way, erection stiff and the end of her cock flaring out ebulliently with arousal, she could massage the upper wall of Celestia’s vagina just a little way inside her. It seemed that when she did this, her Princess lover jolted and gasped. It seemed a fine idea to do it again and again and again.

And then, with Celestia moaning sweetly and squirming under her smaller body, Twilight took a moment to thrust to the hilt a second time, nuzzling Celestia’s mighty chest, prodding with her hips, savoring the feel of her lavender pony breasts against her alicorn lover’s breasts, her hard-on like some thermometer taking the temperature of the breathless alicorn. That temperature was hot, beautifully hot.

She returned to her intent fondling, to scrubbing the edge of her flare against that quivery pillow of flesh, so very soft and tender, and she watched Celestia’s lovely eyes and grinned around the magic bit.

Celestia’s O-face had appeared. The massive, elegant Princess gazed down at Twilight’s loving and determined attentions and her expression had gone past bliss, through a sort of muted amazement, into a peculiar sort of awe. It wasn’t that Twilight was pounding her and shocking her body, far from it; rather, the enamoured unicorn was able to project a kind of sensuality that Celestia couldn’t help but respond to. She never let up, and the power within her was expressed purely through sheer selfless appreciation, and the slender magic wand between Twilight’s legs probed and explored joyously, returning again and again to that sensitive pillowy softness that made Celestia shudder and bare her own teeth in a snarl of passionate ecstacy…

Twilight was shivering all over, feeling the electricity between them, wallowing in it. Her cock tingled with a fire of sensation, drenched in the tender juicy wetness of Celestia’s vagina, flaring stiffer and stiffer as she devoted herself to her joyous task, feeling a building tension beneath her…

Princess Celestia’s eyes filled with wonder. She drew a deep, shivery breath.

“Unh!” moaned the Princess. Her body jolted. Twilight grinned harder, her face flushed purplish-red with excitement, and kept her motions up.

“Nnnnh! UNNH!”

Celestia allowed herself to gaze off into space, for that was where she was headed: inside her, coaxed by her lover’s impassioned fondlings, a mighty wave began to build. At first, it was just a few fireworks, spasms of pleasure in answer to the lovemaking. Then, they didn’t stop, they kept going as Twilight grinned up at her and kept touching her there…

“Hh… Hhh! Uhhh! Nnnh! Nnn, NNGH!”

Twilight rejoiced… and gritted her teeth on the bit, hanging in there as hard as she could. Princess Celestia wasn’t focussed on her anymore. Instead, her eyes were wide and wondrous and staring at nothing, her mane disheveled, and Celestia began to come in earnest, and the glorious Princess-pussy began first clenching at Twilight’s slim wand, and then going berserk upon her. The sensations were beyond belief: the vast juicy space that had enfolded her so yieldingly, began jerking her off with royal ferocity.

Twilight came inside her alicorn lover in an eager jet of unicorn spunk, and bore down on the bit for all she was worth, hanging in there just to savor every little moment.

“Unhh! Eeeeh! Mmmh, uhh! hh!”

Celestia squealed prettily, panted, her face flushed as she came and came, riding that wave of gentle stimulation, quivering with pleasure as the orgasms washed lovingly over her, beaming down at Twilight even as the lavender unicorn smiled back. They’d not often ridden such a wave. Both alicorn and unicorn enjoyed a taste for the fierce, liked to be erotically overwhelmed, and yet this different approach had become a new experience: always under control, yet blessed all the same and saturated with a strange and heady benevolence.

Twilight nuzzled against Celestia’s chest, sweating down her nose with her mane sticking to her forehead, and nudged the slender phallus to the hilt inside Celestia to feel every last little quiver and gasp.

Celestia bit her lower lip in sheer delight, gave a last shudder, and let out the breath she was holding. Idly, she petted Twilight’s mane even as the little unicorn pony nuzzled her belly and chest.

“Mmm,” purred Celestia. “Come up. Come UP!”

Her horn lit, and Twilight wriggled as she felt the bit being gently prised from her mouth. Celestia was reaching down for her. She allowed the magic bit to be removed, her stylish unicorn erection vanished away—so vast was Celestia, that the ponycome Twilight had squirted inside her didn’t even pour out before disappearing—and Twilight crawled up over Celestia’s quivering belly and into her embracing forelegs.

And was hidden, all but her cute little head, for Princess Celestia wrapped all four legs and her wings around her beloved in a hug that threatened to squish the little unicorn flat.

“UHMmmmmm!” crooned Twilight, exulting in every bit of it.

“Oh, my love!” moaned Princess Celestia, giddy with emotion.

“We’re good at this!” giggled Twilight. “Is that your cup of tea, Princess, over there? Maybe I’d better feed you some tea, to get your strength back.”

“You are miraculous!” insisted Celestia.

“It took you this long to figure that out?” came the wry, arrogant little voice.

Twilight’s and Celestia’s eyes flew wide. They looked toward the door. Inside the room and unnoticed until this moment, Trixie Lulamoon and Chaos the ice-blue alicorn waif burst into cheerful equine applause, smirking like they’d pulled off a truly wonderful trick.

Twilight and Celestia blushed cherry-red, each smiling more than the other.

Then, Trixie galloped over and flung herself onto the gently steaming pair. “Yay! You clearly had almost as good a time as the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Celestia oofed. Twilight boggled at her marefriend. “Almost? Almost as good a time? Are you crazy? What could you possibly have done with Chaos, or Discord if that’s how you played it, that was anything like as good as this?”

Chaos blinked. “In fact, it was Discord… well, mostly. May I ask how you knew?”

“I didn’t,” said Twilight. “I was just guessing. What the heck is ‘discord, mostly’?”

Trixie turned, her eyes dancing. “Show her! Show my Twilight the special thing you made!”

At this, the little alicorn demurred, turning and lifting a forehoof as if to ward off the idea. “Oh, I don’t think so. It’s not a good idea, Trixie, please don’t suggest it again…”

Princess Celestia’s expression was memorable. “Chaos? Swirlie-discord-chaos-pie? What in Equestria has she had you make, that YOU of all creatures are afraid to show us?”

Chaos looked apologetic. “I’ve been trying to learn the dictates of reality, Celly. Honestly I have. Just because I needn’t bother with them doesn’t mean other ponies don’t enjoy a more reality-based environment.”

Trixie snorted contemptuously, grinning. “More fools they!”

“Twilight wouldn’t like it,” countered Chaos.

Trixie pouted. “Maybe not. She’s pretty hardcore, though!”

“It’s not the same,” insisted Chaos, with a wary glance at Celestia. Twilight ignored them and her horn lit, as she brought the cup of tea over for her Princess.

“What are you doing with her?” asked Celestia. “Answer!” She sipped her tea, watching her immortal counterpart closely.

Chaos drooped. “Please, Celly. Just as you’ve found love, I’ve found a simply marvellous outlet for my most chaotic impulses. I’ve never meant for those to upset you, but somehow when a pony flings herself so heedlessly into them, at last I can understand what you find so disconcerting.”

“Well,” said Celestia, her ears splayed in perplexity, “Twilight’s good at flinging herself heedlessly too. Is this something you’re depriving her of?”

Chaos glanced at Twilight, who was also taken aback by the tone of the discussion. “Twilight tends to treat reality as an obligation. Trixie treats reality as a challenge…”

“Yes!” declared Trixie. “Trixie treats reality as an insult! Conquer the impossible, always!”

“Oh, stop hinting!” Twilight burst out. “What did you DO to her? It totally made her day, whatever it was.” She took a sip of the tea, herself.

Chaos blushed brightly… and then she morphed, and Discord was standing there.

“Big deal,” said Twilight. “As if a little snakey draconequus action would horrify me. I might…”

One of Discord’s horns, the lumpy pointy one, transformed into a long, writhing tentacle. Trixie’s mouth opened in a silent squee of delight.

Twilight gulped. “Ah. But you know, that’s still not THAT out there compared to…”

The end of the tentacle transformed into a gleaming, metallic eggbeater. It glinted in the light for a moment, and then began to spin with a metallic whirring sound and the occasional ‘ting’ as the eggbeater blades smacked into each other.

The glints of light from the whirring metallic thing reflected in the wide, horrified eyes of Twilight and Celestia, speechless with dismay, both wearing cartoony frown-faces.

In a splurge of chaotic magic, Discord-tentacle-eggbeater turned back into little Chaos the alicorn, who scampered forward crying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Don’t look that way about it, you insisted I tell you when I knew I should not!”

“Nooo!” wailed Trixie, stamping her hoof petulantly. “Turn Trixie’s lower regions to whipped cream again! And then drink her out!”

Twilight gulped, her ear twitching. “You mean ‘eat her out’, surely?” she said, and sipped her tea again, shaken.

“No, Trixie means…”

“Please!” begged Chaos. “My courageous darling! One of the things I’ve learned from Celestia’s good little ponies is caring. Some things should be private, if they’d upset those we love.”

Celestia pulled herself together. “I… see. All very consensual, at least. How… novel. It certainly gives the phrase ‘unicorn juices’ a whole new, ah, spin!” She twitched. “So… we can at least assure ourselves of this, that you might drink Trixie in an unorthodox manner… but at least there’s no eating Trixie?”

“I was cake!” chirped Trixie happily.

“PFFFT!” Twilight spat out her tea, in shock.

“Trixie, please!” pleaded Chaos. “I love all you ponies, and my beloved Princess, and I love you too! You’re just very… special. Don’t upset them!”

Trixie glanced at where Twilight and Celestia were clinging to each other, with matching stunned looks. “Hmph. Very well. Trixie cannot expect everypony to be truly imaginative.” She wriggled, reminiscently.

Twilight reeled in her dangling jaw. “You were… ALL of you, was cake? How does that even work? Does it even FEEL…”

“Ahnnn,” crooned Trixie. Chaos was blushing a fierce cherry red, and couldn’t meet Celestia’s or Twilight’s eyes.

Twilight gulped. “You turned to… to PONY cake. With sensation. And you had him EAT you… all of you? Seriously?”

“All but one eyeball!” boasted Trixie. “We played with it! Well, he did. You’d be surprised what you can do with the right kind of eyeball!”

“Uh-huh…” managed Twilight.

“He did a triple-cushion bank shot into the corner pocket!” said Trixie, proudly. “The long stick poked Trixie right in the cornea!”

Chaos pounced, and hugged her demented blue unicorn tight. “Trixie, please! Be fair. Twilight and Celly are very very jaded themselves, they’re not lightweights as you put it. Honestly, they’re not, and I don’t want you teasing them this way. You’re just… special, in your willingness to experience things.”

“I’ll say,” mumbled Twilight. “How do you even eat a cake of pony?”

“Slowly!” said Trixie. “With much tearing off the tasty pieces, one by one. Big teeth! Except when they were dominoes, for some reason.” She glanced suspiciously at Chaos. “What was that about? They still worked, though. Blunter.”

“Chaos is sometimes very strong with me,” said the little ice-blue alicorn, still blushing brightly. “Celly, Twilight! Erm… here she is. As good as ever, I promise you. We had fun. I think dear Trixie had even more fun with me, than I with her, though. Trixie, please! We should explore more of my fantasies. You know, the rather silly and fun things? Not so much yours, though I applaud the clarity and scope of your artistic vision.”

“Can’t we do both?” said Trixie winsomely. “We did do both! Trixie was quite at your disposal for your most chaotic impulses, and had excellent suggestions you really liked.”

Chaos’s ear twitched. “That is true,” she said bravely, “but all the same, some of the details about sensation and, ah, ripping were far more about your pleasure than mine. I confess I don’t entirely understand what’s so delightful about that, though you seemed to enjoy it.”

“Trixie came buckets!” boasted Trixie.

“Yes, that was a good suggestion too,” said Chaos, “but they didn’t need to be so uncomfortably large, you know.”

“Yes they did,” said Trixie dismissively. She glanced at her Twilight, and her face fell. “Awww… Mistress!”

With that, she’d rushed over and was hugging Twilight fervently. “Don’t look that way, Mistress! Trixie will always love you best! Trixie was just playing with a new playmate, and wants to share the things she’s discovered! Chaos, come over here, do the pool table thing, Mistress would make a lovely ponyball! It’s fun!”

Chaos wasn’t responding, however. Her gaze was locked with Celestia’s, and then she shook her head and said “No thank you, Trixie. I too easily forget the art of compromise, in your presence. As much as I enjoy playing, there are some kinds of play best kept with those who can truly enjoy them. My beloved Celly, and your beloved Twilight, don’t thrive on chaos the way you so wonderfully do.”

Trixie pouted. “No freaking out the Princess? No freaking out Mistress?”

“No, Trixie,” said Chaos gently. “Humor me?”

“Oh,” said Trixie. She brightened. “Then let’s go freak out the Kirin! She’s uptight about all kinds of stuff, even unicorn magemelding!”

Chaos’s pretty lip curled in a wry smile. “Heh. Now you’re talking.”

Twilight visibly brightened as well. “Yes! A lot of nerve she has, objecting to us unicorns showing skills. Offensive,” she snorted.

“She is the color of a cue ball already!” said Trixie. “Let’s go play with her!”

Twilight smirked. “Perhaps a little eggbeater work would do her some good.”

Trixie beamed, then wrinkled her brow. “Trixie thinks her vagina looked very small, compared to a pony.” She brightened. “Of course! A little crowbar and eggbeater work would do the trick!” She bounced on all four hooves, with an adorable squee.

“That would be fun to watch,” said Twilight, her smirk growing still more wicked.

Chaos gulped. “If she’s small even for a pony, Crowbar is the last horse we’d want to pair her with…”

“Stop!” said Princess Celestia, sternly. They looked at her, but her eyes were on her unicorn consort, Twilight Sparkle. “Stop it, Twilight,” she said. “This is exactly why I carried you off by the scruff of your mane, to get you away from her.”

Twilight glared, offended. “It wasn’t even my idea! Trixie’s the one who wants to widen her with a crowbar. And if she’s not safe to have around Ponyville unicorns, why am I the one who has to get a time-out?”

Celestia met her gaze. “Because you’re so cross with her, that’s why. Trixie doesn’t really understand there’s anything wrong with the suggestion: indeed, as it’s chaos magic and not properly real, in a sense there is nothing wrong with it. As such, Kirin in general would hardly target her, and might even appreciate her strange but positive intentions.”

“Yay!” said Trixie.

“But,” added Celestia hastily, “Chaos sees the problem. This particular Kirin would not understand. They’re orderly creatures, responsible, and the connotations of doing a thing in unreality that would be the cruelest behavior possible in reality…”

“Trixie doesn’t know. Can Discord become a blender?”

“Shush!” scolded Celestia, and turned again to Twilight Sparkle. “My point being, you don’t like this Hina-rin, Twilight. I noticed that. Since you don’t like her, you’re taking too much pleasure in the idea of provoking her. I really must object. You’re being unfair, and no, you may not widen the Kirin with a crowbar and then masturbate her with a working eggbeater on the end of a tentacle. It would be…” said Celestia, and groped for a suitable word, “…rude.”

“Rude?!” demanded Twilight. “What about the way she treats us, and our magemelds? And the natural process of unicorn mating!”

“Impolite?” suggested Celestia, in a kind of despair. She’d thought Luna had picked an awkward unicorn consort in Lyra, but ever since she and Chaos had begun a complicated relationship with Twilight and Trixie, she’d had to redefine the word ‘awkward’.

“Enough,” said Chaos, her little soprano voice firm. “Celly’s right. I’ve never seen this creature, maybe there’s no way I ever will if she has that big a problem with Chaos (which I am), but I will not take action to upset her. Learning about the feelings of others is good! It’s good for me, and you shan’t entice me into old ways, when I gleefully violated the reality of ponies and Ponyville just to enjoy their reactions.”

“Right,” said Celestia. “Thank you, dear.”

“Now I can violate Trixie, and she likes it,” added Chaos brightly.

“Trixie loves it!” confirmed Trixie.

“Indeed,” said Celestia, trying not to lose track of the conversation. “Twilight, please: I thought returning you to Canterlot would keep you out of trouble with the Kirin. How can I persuade you? They’re good creatures, truly they are. There was a time when you’d have adored them, and perhaps that’s the problem. You’ve become so rebellious. I suppose Trixie has as well, though it seems nearly impossible to tell the difference.”

Twilight pouted. “We only have one life to live, Princess. It makes both me and Trixie happy to spend it with you, here in Canterlot, but I once thought I’d teach Ponyville independence and pride. I taught YOU to respect mortal ponies. Now you’re telling me there’s this thing visiting Ponyville, and she looks down on ponies like they’re not even people, but it’s all right because she’s protecting them? Princess, I consider that a bad influence.”

Celestia frowned. “She does not look down on ponies. Kirin treasure even the blades of grass upon which they walk. She’s squeamish about magemelds because that’s how they have sex, and snippy about horngasms because that’s not how they have sex, but as you can see she aches for the touch of a good stallion so I think you’re over-reacting. Can’t she have some tiresome attitudes if they do no harm? And Kirin categorically refuse to do, or allow, pointless harm.”

“So they take those warlike unicorn stallions from old Neighpon,” countered Twilight, “and file their horns blunt, maybe alter their minds so that they just smile and eat grass? That’s disgusting!”

Celestia’s nostrils flared. “No, Twilight! They did no such thing. The Kirin of that age explained to me their duty of moderating and guiding those impulses. They set up a sort of dueling society, and took pains to make sure all the unicorns understood the risks, and the limitations of being victorious. They allowed the fighting, Twilight. But, no Neighponnese warrior would turn his sharpened horn on innocents, or foals, or a rival who’d surrendered. They internalized their lessons, and they learned honor. Perhaps they also helped to teach their Kirin about honor. It is something of a symbiotic relationship, really.”

Twilight’s righteousness had drained away. “Oh. That does sound pretty wise, I guess.”

“As wise as they could be,” said Celestia. “Not perfect, but ever growing. Twilight, this custom continues even now. From what little I know about it, serious injuries are less common, because the duellists treat it as a matter of skill and quickly recognize the limitations of injury. Retired Neighponnese warriors are honored in their society, and they turn to the role of teachers very often. Direct intervention by Kirin is rarely needed. You could go to Neighpon and see this for yourself. The cherry blossoms might be in bloom.”

Twilight pondered this. “Hmmm. It might be fun. We’d be leaving Ponyville for a while, though.”

Celestia smirked, very slightly. “Now who’s being overprotective?”

Twilight stuck out her tongue at her. “Hmph!”

“There could hardly be a better time to do it,” suggested Celestia. “Setting aside the fact that between you, Trixie, and Chaos, most of the Ponyville trouble is sitting in this room… there’s the Kirin. If you’re at all worried about leaving Ponyville unattended, rest assured that with a visiting Kirin enjoying the stallions, no harm could possibly befall it. Firstly, Ponyville itself is strikingly free of mischief, present company excluded, and secondly if trouble arose, the Kirin would make every effort to protect all the good creatures of the town. And I say good creatures advisedly: yes, there’s a vampony, but I’ve seen Kirin befriend wild and savage beasts as often as they’ve struck down other sorts of predators. They go by evilness, not by prejudice, and respond to goodness, not surface appearances. And I ask you, honestly! What in all Ponyville could possibly improve the moral position of Fluttershy?”

“An eggbeater?” suggested Twilight.

Princess Celestia face-hoofed.

“A tentacle!” cried Chaos. “I really ought to look into broadening my relationship with Fluttershy. Nothing would delight me more than to bring her pleasure, though she’s a little uptight about it and only wants her big zebras. Understandable, I suppose.”

Princess Celestia glanced over at Trixie in weary expectation of more ribald byplay.

And froze, because tears glistened in Trixie’s eyes, and her face wore a shockingly vulnerable, yearning look.

“Trixie! Trixie, dear, whatever is the matter?” asked Celestia, as the other two turned and saw her.

Trixie gulped.

“The cherry blossoms… in bloom, along the river…”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Trixie? Are you okay?”

Trixie’s lip quivered, and then Twilight was hugging her.

“Oh, no!” cried Chaos. “I broke Trixie. I’m so sorry! I might have left some whipped cream in her brain. Give me a moment, I’ll fix her right up!”

She, too, pounced, but then both she and Twilight were knocked aside by a fierce shove. Trixie burst forth, her ears back and her tears still leaking but forgotten. She charged right up to Princess Celestia.

“Will you take us? Will you take Trixie? You’d better not be joking! Please, don’t be joking?”

Celestia studied her. “I can only assume you mean Neighpon, Trixie. Why this terrible urgency? Have you never seen it?”

For a moment, Trixie’s face twisted in grief, and she was unable to speak. Then, she managed to.

“No. Trixie has…”

“Tell us,” urged Twilight, walking up and hugging her marefriend. “I’ve never seen this side of you.”

That got her a sidelong glance. “No, Mistress. You have. Trixie didn’t explain everything.”

“How about you start?” suggested Twilight. “I could spank you until you explain…”

“Twilight!” objected Princess Celestia.

“…but,” continued Twilight with a sharp look at her Princess, “I can tell this is one of those times where it’s too serious and you aren’t playing. That freaks me out, Trixie. Please tell us.”

“Trixie will,” said Trixie, and took a deep breath. “If Princess Celestia promises she wasn’t joking…”

“I’d like to hear your story,” said Princess Celestia gravely. “Indeed, I need to hear more before I answer. Why does Neighpon upset you so?”

“Lost hope,” said Trixie. “Give Trixie a moment…”

As she explained, her companions’ eyes widened.

“Mistress, do you remember a book? A very old book that your cleaning spell ate, and Trixie threw a terrible tantrum and was disciplined? A book you said you replaced, with a lovely gilt-edged edition, but Trixie reminded you that the original book was one of the first in Trixie’s library, with her throughout her travels?”

Twilight nodded. “I do remember. I guess it’s sentimental value? I said I was sorry. I always wondered what it was about that book. Your other favorites were more advanced magic. Comparative Thamaturgy A To Z is so much more general, though it’s got lovely pictures…” At that, Twilight fell silent, thinking.

Trixie nodded. “The book was worn out for a reason. It wasn’t because of the spells and cantrips outlined within its pages. Trixie learned far better magic long ago,” she boasted. “Neigh, it was special because of those lovely pictures.”

“You’re right!” said Twilight. “I do remember pictures of Neighpon. I’m afraid in the original book they were tattered almost beyond recognition. I’d hoped you’d like the new copy. I’ve never understood your attitude toward it. It’s like you’re reverent, but you don’t want to look at it. Or am I reading too much into your reaction?”

Trixie trembled. “Mistress is observant. There is a reason for the condition of my special book.”

“If it upsets you, Trixie,” said Celestia gently, “you don’t have to tell us. Or we could give you space, and let you tell just only Twilight…”

“Trixie wants to tell!” insisted Trixie. “Mistress will just have to cope. Trixie doesn’t mean to be ungrateful…”

“I remember,” said Twilight somberly. “Princess, I destroyed a special book of Trixie’s, one she carried around when she had no friends and was under a curse. I can’t truly replace it with a new copy because it was that particular book that she had all those years.”

“No,” said Trixie. “You can’t replace it because, when Trixie was chased out of town and hid in a hole or some cave or shivered in the wilderness far from any friendly pony face, she had that book. And Trixie would open it to those pages she knew so well, and read about the beauty and peace of Neighpon, and the cherry blossoms along the river. “

Her friends were silent.

“And Trixie would imagine herself there, imagine with all her heart, and Trixie would cuddle up to the book, lying against the pages with her face against the picture, pretending to be lying underneath the gentle boughs with the cherry blossoms sprinkling sedately down upon her, and Trixie would sleep. And that is why the book was such a wreck, and why it couldn’t really be replaced by a new copy.”

Princess Celestia said softly, “There are boats, ferries, bound for Neighpon. Did you never seek to journey there?”

Trixie gazed up at her, and the tearful eyes burned.

“I went there,” she said.

“What happened, Trixie?”

“Trixie went there before she came to Ponyville, before she met Twilight Sparkle. It was in the last days of Trixie’s magic bit curse. She reached the shore, and two old Kirin were there, much older than the one in Ponyville. They looked so sad…”

Her face screwed up in anguish. For a moment, she couldn’t continue.

“Trixie turned around and came back,” she said, finally. “Not home: Trixie had no home, nothing but her gifts and her curse. It had already killed a pony. Trixie knew the Kirin weren’t wrong when they advised her to go away. They could not stand by once Trixie’s curse awoke and began harming ponies, but as long as Trixie was far from Neighpon they would not pursue her…”

Her three companions were speechless.

“Trixie never saw a cherry blossom,” concluded Trixie. “And if Trixie had not found Twilight Sparkle, Trixie doesn’t know what would have happened.”

Celestia cleared her throat. “I see. But when I mentioned the cherry blossoms, it brought up this old pain?”

Then, she oofed. The Great and Powerful Trixie had charged right over and tackled her in a frantic, fervent hug.

“YOU can bring Trixie!” she cried, and burst into tears.

Celestia snuggled the fretful blue unicorn with a vast, feathery wing. Her eyes were wide in startlement, and she looked to Twilight and Chaos for reactions.

Chaos said, “Do you think they banished her for good, or only while the curse afflicted her? I take it they couldn’t have cured it.”

Twilight said, “I don’t see what difference that could possibly make. I say we go there, Princess! For Trixie!”

“But,” said Chaos, “well… I don’t pretend to be an expert on these things, but as Celly describes it those Kirin respond to evilness. If she was suffering from a curse with evil effects, they might have felt duty-bound to destroy her.” She pouted. “They should have asked me. I’d have turned the curse to something amusing. Though as I understand it, they hate chaos too, don’t they?”

“We’re taking her to Neighpon and that’s final!” insisted Twilight.

“That Kirin visiting us didn’t complain of Trixie’s presence,” mused Celestia. “She spoke of evil, but she’s not been hunting any. She’s apparently had sex with three of the flower ponies and Caramel, which seems a far cry from seeking evil.”

Twilight boggled at her Princess. “How the heck do you know that?”

Celestia gulped. “Rumor?”

“Rumor mongering’s supposed to be wicked,” said Chaos. “Though it produces the most delicious chaos!”

Hastily, Celestia cleared her throat. “We SHALL visit Neighpon! Immediately! The Kirin can mind Ponyville while we’re away. Luna can mind their dreams, if she is not too preoccupied with Lyra and the foals.”

“Yay!” cheered Twilight and Chaos, and Trixie sobbed and hugged the Princess harder.

“If,” added Celestia, “you lot can be on your best behavior. That means no attitude or mischief, Twilight, nothing too kinky, Trixie, and as for you, Chaos… I think you’ll have to go on a sort of diet.”

“I’m already so thin!” protested Chaos. “Apart from the tentacles, of course.”

“Exactly,” said Celestia firmly. “We’ll go and enjoy the beauty of Neighpon. We’ll be kind and peaceful and orderly, and no Kirin will have a word of objection.”

“Is that a challenge?” said Twilight.

“No tentacles? Even for Neighpon?” said Chaos.

“No chaos,” insisted Celestia. “And you unicorns will have to be on your best behavior! I don’t intend to use my power to get you out of jams, and Chaos mustn’t use hers. We’re depending on you, Twilight, as Trixie often follows your lead.” She tactfully refrained from adding the word ‘literally’.

“Good,” said Twilight. “I can behave if Chaos can!” She stuck out her tongue at her once-rival, now combination bonus lover and prank-target.

“No chaos?” said Chaos plainitively. “How will I ever manage? Those cherry blossoms had better be spectacular.” She sighed.

“I’m not so sure of that,” suggested Twilight. “I’ve seen a DJ Pon-3 party. For that matter, there’s a certain shelf in my libary that has a lot of interesting illustrations… Let’s just say Neighponnese unicorns can be spectacular too.”

“They can?” blinked Celestia.

“Repression can produce wonderful things,” smirked Twilight. “I think the Neighponnese must have a special arrangement with the Kirin. That, or the Kirin have a strangely imaginative definition of ‘good’. We WILL go and enjoy the heck out of Neighpon, in a variety of ways. You’ll see. And of course we’ll be sure to make time for cherry blossoms. That sounds good, right?”

“Umm…” said Princess Celestia, wondering how to get out of her committment, but then she glanced under her wing where she cuddled Trixie, and Trixie gazed back, more at peace than Celestia had ever seen her.

Her smile was worthy of the little, innocent filly Trixie had once been, so very long ago, and Celestia’s reservations melted away, and she just nodded.