The ship nuzzled up to the Manehattan docks as if felt particularly fond of them. A cheer went up from its decks, and the cheer was echoed on the shore.

Appearances could be deceiving. In its day, the ‘Jolly Galloper’ had been most unwelcome at the Manehattan seaport, for its habit of disgorging pirates to rob the place. But the ‘Galloper’ had belonged to Kabochaebi… and for years now, its visits to ports all over Equestria had been peaceful and benevolent.

The cheer from the ship wasn’t so much about eagerness to get ashore: many sailors were the pirates of Kabochaebi, including captain Uni, the very Kabochaebi herself and namesake of the town. The sailors had been everywhere, and felt no special attachment to Manehattan: they were enjoying the diplomatic mission on the high seas, in the company of not one but two Kirin. Not only that, they rejoiced to be reunited with Kabochaebi herself, their captain. Even before the ship had docked, Kabochaebi had appeared running her fastest, and she made a mighty leap over the water and was caught by her crew and her Kirin, Yosuru, all of whom hugged and kissed her. Kabochaebi had immediately taken over command, crying, “I will dock my ship! Throw those heaving lines! Belay that bow line to the fo’csle cleat! And the stern line, you pony-kissing seadogs!”

The passengers were more eager to get ashore, and less inclined to cheer. Big Macintosh remained as un-seaworthy as ever, despite Braeburn’s and Rainbow Dash’s attentive care. Flight Lightning and Scootaloo proved almost as queasy, and Sweetie Belle trotted about frantically trying to soothe their green brows… and both Kichona and Daitana, the new ambassadors to Ponyville, Canterlot, and Equestria West, had been distracted by seasickness the whole journey long. Fortunately, the types of sea monster attracted by recycled pony dinner chumming the waters, weren’t that dangerous, and Yosuru had driven them away without harm to passengers, crew, or sea monsters.

In that light, the cheering of the crew was faintly sarcastic. The journey home would be tidier, and the landlubber ponies on solid ground would be far happier.

The cheer from the shore was similarly complicated. Though it was sincere, the pony with the most to expect hung back, and stayed quiet: Applejack watched the ship with fierce concentration, ready at any moment to yell ‘Whoa!’ and explain things to Rainbow Dash. Her heart pounded delightfully, but all the same she was tense and worried, and hadn’t slept the previous night over worrying about what Dash might think.

Instead, the ponies on the dock cheering the arrival of the ship constituted a delegation from Canterlot along with a scattering of Ponyvilleans: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had attended, along with Lyra and the royal fillies, and Twilight, Trixie and Discord had come to see as well. Discord was in her Chaos form, and under strict orders not to be too random, for fear of offending either the sailor Kirin or the ambassador Kirin. A glint in her eye revealed her opinion of these orders, and a matching glint in Trixie’s eye suggested that the royal delegation was somewhat at cross purposes. Beside them, Rarity, radiant, bounced with glee and anticipation. Behind them, Stout Heart stood guard.

Ponies began to disembark, with the first of the procession being the new Kirin Ambassador to Ponyville and his eager, fascinated wife. Behind them, the returning musicians, waiting their turn to disembark.

Or… not. Daitana and Kichona hastily backed away from the gangplank in alarm, looking behind them, at a sudden commotion. It proved a wise reaction, because through the group of ponies bulleted a gray figure… or, perhaps, cannonballed, for it was Octavia. She had seen Stout Heart waiting on the shore. Waiting proved impossible for the frantic cellist.

She was a blur worthy of Rainbow Dash, or Flight Lightning, as she tore across the gangplank and charged directly at her beloved. However, unlike those pegasi, Octavia was an earth pony, and not a diminutive one. Stout Heart had only a moment for his eyes to widen, his nostrils to flare, his ears to perk forward rather than lay back, even though the result was inevitable—rather than be swept into an embrace, physics did their happy work, and Stout Heart seemed to disappear. Octavia seemed not slowed at all, and the embrace hurtled back out of sight, behind a banner held by Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy that read “Welcome New Kirin, And Wife, And Big Macintosh, And Braeburn, And What The Heck, Everybody!”

The letters got smaller and smaller as they went on, but remained cheerful to the last Y.

And Stout Heart, too, remained cheerful even while tackled and flattened to the ground. Indeed, his response to being flattened to the ground by his beloved Octavia was unmistakably happy…

“Three,” counted Princess Celestia, quietly, to herself. “Four. Five. S…”

An impressively weighty jet of spooge arced into the air, from behind the banner. It soared over the diplomatic party, and over even the ship itself, and splashed into the water accompanied by giggles from Kichona and a look of epic dismay from Twilight Sparkle, who had expectations of how diplomatic events ought to be conducted.

Celestia cleared her throat, and glanced sidelong at Princess Luna. Luna, in turn, pouted and passed to Celestia five Canterlot bits, with a casual glow of her horn.

“Told you,” said Princess Celestia.

“Oh my gosh!” wailed Twilight Sparkle, trotting in place with agitation. “I’m so sorry, Daitana and Kichona! What must you be thinking of us? This must be the most horrible diplomatic embarrassment ever!”

“Oh?” said Trixie softly, passing a small object to Chaos, who stood innocently beside her. Trixie bore a fearsome smirk, her eyes crinkled up in amusement. She’d arrived with no apparent burdens or cargoes, though Twilight was bedecked in an elaborate dress with constellations all over it, to match the regalia of the Princesses. Nevertheless, a small glinting object appeared from behind Trixie, and sneakily levitated over to Chaos, who licked her lips and gave the visitors the prettiest smile.

Daitana didn’t seem to notice. “I’m sorry!” he replied. “I, I, circumstances have not yet given me a restoration of my powers, or I would have sensed the intentions of this musician mare…”

“Figure something out!” called Yosuru, in exasperation. “Honestly! You’d better hope for | a healer with knowledge of | mysterious herbs!”

Daitana’s ears flattened at the scolding, and he looked back apologetically at Yosuru. His horn glimmered pathetically dim: he had not accepted her offer of baby Kirin magic-feeding, nor had he fed from any unicorns on the journey.

Princess Celestia’s ears were quirked to the side. “Oh, dear. Honored Kirin, do you need help? You seem… unwell.”

Daitana’s lip quivered, and he pressed closer to Kichona, who gazed at Princess Celestia and nodded fiercely.

Beside Fluttershy, Zecora cleared her throat. “Please do not frown, with pouts and sighs. In just such herbs, I specialize.”

“She does, she totally does!” asserted Pinkie Pie, loyally. As she piped up, Big Macintosh and Vinyl Scratch gave a start, and looked at each other without speaking. They’d heard that voice quite recently… or something very like it, yet unlike. Even their Pinkie speaking up for Zecora conveyed a warmth, a groundedness that she’d not always laid claim to. Big Macintosh and Vinyl Scratch stared at her, wide-eyed, and Big Macintosh gulped.

“Oh, good,” said Daitana. “I know I will have to figure out something…”

Twilight Sparkle stamped her hoof. “Nuh-uh! You’re our guest, along with your lovely wife Kichona whom I’m delighted to meet, and you don’t have to figure anything out today! Today we welcome you and our companions home, and it’s a day of happy rejoicing, dammit!”

“Can we walk over to the land?” asked Kichona, plainitively. “The boat is still rocking a tiny amount and I fear I will be sick again.”

Rarity squealed in dismay: she’d been watching the diplomacy with increasing horror. “Darling! Forgive these foolish, contentious horses. I at least know how to welcome honored guests in a spirit of generosity… yes, thank you Twilight dear, I’ve got this…”

She trotted forward with great determination, curtseyed with the elegant swish of a forehoof, batted her eyelashes, and purred, “Welcome to the West, beloved and honored guests and new friends. It’s our great pleasure to meet you, and I’m sure we’ll enjoy the delights of our cross-cultural experiment, every happy day you’re with us.”

Daitana blinked. Kichona smiled. The two trotted across the gangplank, Kichona first, and respectively bowed and curtsied to Rarity, and waited to see what’d happen next.

Rarity turned, exultant. “There! Now, can we all at least try to rise to that level? Let us welcome our honored new ambassador, each of us in our own special way.”

All of a sudden, Trixie’s grin was trying to burst off her little pony face. She raised a hind hoof, and kicked Chaos’s leg, seeming too thrilled to speak.

“Oh!” squeaked Chaos. “Yes! Let’s!”

A metallic glint flashed in the air, as a magic bit zipped into Chaos’s mouth. The dainty alicorn seemed to explode in transformation, expanding in size and wriggliness and chaoticness, towering over the appalled ponies, and in mere moments, there stood Discord himself.

But not just brandishing a draconequus horsecock—brandishing five extra-bobbly erections. One in the normal place, one out of each palm, one in the middle of the forehead, and one on the end of the tail.

Discord danced, the horsecocks flopping about amusingly.

“Hello! Hello! Welcome to Ponyville, or at least Manehattan! You’re going to love it, we’re a lot of fun!”

Both Princesses, Twilight, Rarity, Daitana and Yosuru all stared, stunned beyond reacting. But before any of them could even say a word…

“Eeeee!” squealed Kichona, overcome with thrilledness. “A WEIRD MONSTER! You’re a weird monster, a real live one, right here!”

She ran over, leapt, and hugged Discord in obvious delight. “Yay! I finally met a weird monster! Oh, you’re beautiful! Can I paint you? Can I, can I? I’ve got to paint you, you’re the most beautiful monster ever!”

She paused, looked him over.

“Why are you covered with penises?” she asked, puzzled.

Discord stared down at the happy little Neighponnese earth pony mare who hugged him. His eyes were wider than they’d ever been in his life. He spat out the magic bit, which Trixie caught, and he said “I don’t have to be, my little pony. Y—you think I’m beautiful? Really?”

Kichona sighed in bliss, and patted him as one might pat a glorious show dog who’d just won a beauty contest in Canterlot. “Of course. You must let me paint you, such pretty colors!” She glanced back at Daitana. “Daitana, you’ve got to find me paints, now I shall truly need them!”

She blinked.

Daitana remained speechless. He offered no threat, or complaint, or anything besides total shock. Twilight was glaring at a smirking Trixie. Celestia and Luna both blushed, but rather than glaring, they looked alarmed, and they both stared in the same direction.

On the ship, the healthy and fully-powered Kirin, Yosuru, stood beside pirate queen Kabochaebi. Unlike Daitana, she retained all her chaos-smiting powers. Unlike naive Kichona, she retained her connection to the sensibilities of Neighpon and her aversion to ridiculous, senseless outbursts, in her capacity as a true, law-loving, fully committed Kirin…

Sort of.

A wry halfsmile played about her lips as her horn glowed on, untroubled.

“May I visit?” she asked, and let out a squeak, for outraged Kabochaebi had smacked her. She turned and gave the tiny pirate captain a placating kiss, and then cuffed little Uni right back, scolding her. “I meant for today! I’ll accompany you home tonight. Honestly, dear one!”

Princess Celestia gulped. “Of course you may, honored guest. I take it you are not overly distressed by… by my sadly ungovernable consort?” She scowled at Discord. “Change back at once, dearest, there are Kirin present! Surely you must be distressing them immeasurably!”

“Nooo!” pleaded Kichona. “He’s pretty!”

Celestia gawked at the ambassador’s mate, then at Daitana (who still appeared stunned), then at Yosuru. “I see. Then… Dear visiting Kirin, you’re sure our spirit of Chaos doesn’t upset you? I may say she even alarms me at times. You’re quite sure?”

Yosuru smiled.

“I’ve seen worse,” she replied. She stepped across the gangplank, walked up to Discord with that little halfsmile… and winked.

“Never go to Neighpon,” she counselled. “I would hate to see what Kantokusha would make of you.”

“Too late!” said Discord. “I already did. It was delightful, simply marvellous. I enjoyed myself immensely.”

“Did they sell tickets?” teased Yosuru.

“Funny you should ask…”

“Sweetie Belle!” cried Rarity. “There you are!”

“Come help with Scootaloo and Flight Lightning!” called Sweetie, from the ship. “They say now that the ship’s not moving, they can just lie there without throwing up for a change!”

Hearing this, Daitana blinked, and snapped out of his astonished trance. He accompanied Rarity over the gangplank and onto the ship, and Rarity’s voice could be heard below decks, exhorting the travellers. “Come on, darlings! Just a few more steps, and you can set hooves on nice solid ground! No more of that awful bobbing and rocking and swaying and… ewww! Oh, honestly, I was only mentioning it!”

Discord gently pushed Kichona away, and turned back into Chaos. “Forgive me, little pony. Celly’s cross with me, for I’ve been naughty. In my defense, it was totally Trixie Lulamoon’s fault.”

“Yay!” squeed Trixie, poinging into the air. “Punish Trixie, very much!”

“Sh!” urged Celestia, worriedly. “I’m sure Twilight is more than willing to oblige…”

“Yep!” replied Twilight, to another happy squee from Trixie.

“…but I think Rarity has our new arrivals under control,” continued Celestia, “and it behooves us to entertain our visiting Kirin, perhaps taking her out to dinner in Manehattan. Your name, dear visitor? I confess, I am amazed at your forbearance. And grateful, of course.”

“I am Yosuru. You would be Celestia. Why are you amazed?”

“I’m not accustomed to any Kirin so… so unperturbed by the sight of mad, dancing revelry with flailing horsecocks,” admitted Celestia.

Yosuru’s eye twinkled. “All of the comforts of home,” she quipped, and she walked off in the company of Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Trixie, and Chaos, towards the streets of Manehattan and its fine and famous restaraunts. She privately vowed to enjoy her strange company while she had it, for Kabochaebi impatiently awaited the return of her Kirin and her own return to the high seas.

Behind them, Rarity hadn’t emerged from below decks yet, but the remaining two ponies of the musical venture had disembarked. Big Macintosh and Vinyl Scratch trotted over to their welcoming committee, to be hugged by Pinkie and Fluttershy and Zecora and Dursaa and Applejack.

As Braeburn and Rarity and Daitana coaxed a queasy Flight Lightning up onto the deck and across the gangplank, with an equally incapacitated Scootaloo sprawled across her Dad’s sturdy back, Big Macintosh turned to Pinkie and gave her an extra big hug, and clung for a while.

“Uhh… pow’ful good ta see you again,” he said. Vinyl shot him a warning glance, but it wasn’t needed. The only hint of the vanished land of PinkPinkistan lay in Big Macintosh’s luminous, emotional eyes as he looked upon his friend. Vinyl followed suit.

“I missed you too,” said Pinkie. “Didja have a good tour, did ya?”

“Yeah we did!” replied Vinyl Scratch, and then she returned to just staring at Pinkie, as Fluttershy gave Big Macintosh another hug.

Pinkie blinked, cutely. “Did ya have a whole lot of fun?” she chirped.

“You bet!” asserted Vinyl. “We rocked the house! Sometimes, the whole town!”

“Yay!” squeaked Pinkie, bouncing. Then she stopped, and scuffed a hoof on the ground, and looked down for a moment, then back at Big Macintosh and Vinyl Scratch. “Did… did you meet lots of nice ponies there? In such an awesome, beautiful, special place?”

Vinyl gulped, her lip quivering. This was the Pinkie Pie who’d seen darker days, who was capable of being lonely or feeling like her friends might do just as well without her. For a moment, Vinyl didn’t have words to reply. But Big Macintosh had ‘em.

“Weren’t one of ‘em as nice as you are, Pinkie Pie.”

Hearing it, Pinkie Pie didn’t fire off party cannons, or bounce, or shriek. Her reaction didn’t seem to belong in PinkPinkistan at all. Instead, slowly… she smiled. And Big Macintosh and Vinyl had to smile too, seeing it, seeing that warm and earnest smile that said how much it mattered… and that their Pinkie was secure in the knowledge that she was loved.

Off to the sides, Braeburn called out, “Whoa there! Rarity, m’dear, can you help her? Lil’ Scaper’s slippin’ off there. You know they ain’t had nothin’ to eat for days, not so’s it’d stay down anyhoof! They’d fly around the ship, but it only made ‘em hungrier, and there weren’t no solid ground to land on…”

“Of course, darling,” replied Rarity, confidently. “Don’t you worry, I’ve got just the thing to help them. Go ahead and take her home and put these poor, aha, ‘landlubbers’ to bed, and soon they’ll feel better.”

Braeburn blinked, went wide-eyed. “Ahh… might be a lil’ problem with that there.”

“Oh no,” said Rarity. “Go on.”

“Wull…” said Braeburn, as Big Macintosh turned to face them.

Behind Big Macintosh, Vinyl grinned at Pinkie. “Want to go out clubbing? We don’t get out to Manehattan together that often. Me, you, Fluttershy, Dursaa, Zecora. How about it?”

“You’re on, sister!” replied Pinkie. “Wait a minute. You left out Applejack! Isn’t she coming?”

“Uht!” reprimanded Rarity. “You’re missing a ship passenger. Don’t you remember?”

Pinkie blinked. “Oh! How come she hasn’t come out? HEY, RAINBOW DASH!”

“Pinkie!” said Rarity. “Of course she will. They might wish some privacy. I’m sure she won’t mind if you go with Vinyl and have a wonderful time. Trust me, those two will be happy to be left with each other, right now, undistracted.”

“Oh,” said Pinkie. “You mean… Oh! Duh. Yeah. Figures!” She bounced, and gave Applejack a hug. “Have fun! Did you remember to bring your yucky penis toy thingy?”

“Yup,” said Applejack, just as Rarity purred, “Oh, I dare say, darling.”

“All righty!” said Pinkie. “I’ll make you lots of yummy snacks when we get home. C’mon, ponies, let’s hit the clubs!”

As they trotted off, Braeburn was frowning at Rarity. “Ma’am, I got to confess something. My house is a wreck.” Daitana and Kichona stood by, watching with interest.

“Oh, no, it isn’t,” said Rarity.

“Naw,” said Braeburn, “I mean Ah kicked all its walls out and like to turnt it into nothin’ but firewood an’ flinders.”

Big Macintosh gasped. “No!”

Braeburn pouted at him. “Yep. I thought you were never comin’ back. So yes, Rarity, it is a wreck. I saw to that m’self.”

“No, it most certainly is not,” said Rarity, “for Applejack and I saw to that ourselves.”

“Beg pardon?”

“We rebuilt it,” explained Rarity. “You’ll find it’s just as it was. Only more fabulous, naturally. Isn’t that right, Applejack?”

Applejack nodded. Her heart was pounding harder and harder, and she couldn’t look at her friends, for she was looking over at the ship again and again. “Yep! That house, it’s as good as new. Better. Uhhh…”

Rarity took one look and cleared her throat. “Ahem! And we thank you, Applejack. And now, let us all be on our way, for dear Applejack should have privacy… there there, dear, we’ll be out of your mane in a moment. Braeburn, Big Macintosh, Flight Lightning, Scootaloo: are you up for travelling home? Perhaps there might be something restorative in Manehattan for our stricken pegasi?”

“Stricken?” yelped Applejack.

“I only mean Flight and Scootaloo,” said Rarity. “Sweetie, would you like to come with us or go with them?”

Sweetie stood on her hind legs, leaning against Braeburn’s side, and gave Scootaloo’s green-orange face a kiss. “I’m gonna hang out with Mom, okay? It seems like it’s been forever since I saw her. Go and, um… I know, go and have some milkshakes. That might make you feel better!”

Scootaloo groaned, then wrinkled her brow. “Actually… maybe that might be okay.”

Flight Lightning was leaning against Big Macintosh, and looked over. “Are they really bland? Oog.”

“They come in vanilla!” replied Sweetie Belle. “I always think milkshakes are very soothing unless they give you brain freezys. Once we thought I was going to have a foal, and I was very concerned about teaching it to drink milkshakes slowly so our foal wouldn’t get brain freezys.”

Applejack whimpered. Her hocks were trembling. Rarity took one look at her, and gasped. “Ponies, please! I must insist. Let us make our way into Manehattan, there to find restorative beverages or whatever pleases us: don’t worry about Applejack, she’ll be quite all right.”

“Thankee,” said Applejack. “Ah guess I will.”

Rarity leaned closer, her eyes dancing with merriment. “Oh, yes you will,” she breathed, and then she’d turned away and was leading off the collected ponies. “Come, darlings! Manehattan awaits!”

“Are we going to have milkshakes too?” asked Sweetie Belle, trotting along. The whole troupe rapidly put distance between themselves and the docks, with Rarity at the front peering to and fro and reading the shop signs as she went.

“Over there, darlings!” cried Rarity, directing Braeburn, Big Macintosh, Scootaloo and Flight Lightning to a corner ice cream shop. Turning to Sweetie Belle, she added, “Perhaps not, Sweetie dear. For two reasons: firstly, Derpy Hooves is at home cooking us a special dinner! Roast rutabaga with alfalfa-sprinkled green salad.” She winked an eye. “Your favorite. She insisted. And I think we can stretch it to our dear guests. Daitana, Kichona, I am honored to bring you back to Ponyville, your new home away from home.”

As they continued to walk down the streets of Manehattan, Sweetie looked up at her three adult companions curiously.

“Are we going to take Daitana to the pony hospital? Does that like even work on Kirin?”

Rarity scoffed. “Goodness, no. Whatever for?”

“Well, he’s real sick! Don’t you see his horn?”

“Hasn’t he just shut it off, out of politeness? Our horns don’t glimmer all day long, Sweetie, and we’re fine.”

Sweetie shook her head. “Nuh-uh! I read it in a book. It didn’t explain everything, but he’s all out of energy and he might die! We should take him to the pony hospital, and then home for rutabagas and salad.”

Rarity glanced quickly at Daitana. “Sir, is this true? Do you need assistance?”

Daitana gulped. There were dark circles under his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Rarity’s eyes narrowed, and she screeched to a halt in the middle of the street. “Say that again.”

“I’ll, ah, be fine. Nothing to worry about,” said Daitana.

Rarity tapped a hoof. “DAR-ling. I have seen many ponies try to deceive me, in many situations: sometimes, the most unexpected ponies in the most unusual situations. Why, Applejack, back there at the docks, once she tried to pull the wool over my eyes and she is the bearer of the Element of Honesty and the last pony you’d think would lie, and even she was better at it than you. You are not fine. What’s the matter, and what shall we do about it?”

Daitana and Kichona looked at each other… and then burst into tears, hugging and clinging to each other.

“It’s true!” wailed Kichona. “He doesn’t want me to tell, but it’s true! Please feed him!”

“No!” replied Daitana. “No such desecration shall pass my lips!”

Rarity’s jaw dropped. “Sweet Celestia. Sir, my beloved Derpy Hooves’ roast rutabaga is not THAT bad. Why, it’s delicious! What in Equestria do you mean?”

Daitana wouldn’t talk. Kichona looked imploringly at them, and said, “You’re unicorns…”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes went wide.

Rarity snorted, and told Kichona, “And our culinary skills are no less than my Derpy’s, I’ll have you know! Well, possibly Sweetie’s are less, but she tries her best. I promise, we have dinner waiting at home in Ponyville…”

“Mom,” said Sweetie.

“And Derpy will keep it piping hot until we… yes, Sweetie?”

“Mom, they eat magic,” said Sweetie. “Now I see how it works. It’s so simple when you understand that part.”

“In that case I’m not sure how we’re supposed to…” began Rarity, and then her eyes went wide too. “Oh, dear Celestia. You’re kidding. Are you joking, Sweetie Belle?”

“No,” said Sweetie, almost reverently. “Look at him. It’s true.” She took a breath, exhaled. “So THAT’S how they get it.”

“Sweetie Belle! Behave!” chided Rarity, growing pale. “I can scarcely credit what you’re saying, and this is a very private and intimate thing! Are you suggesting… no, it’s Kichona who’s suggesting…”

“No!” cried Daitana. “I love only Kichona! I will not leave her to go and pleasure and consume overstuffed, arrogant unicorns, my heart belongs to Kichona!”

Rarity sat down on her butt in the middle of the street, struck speechless. She boggled… and then she studied Ponyville’s new ambassador, her eyes narrowing in thought.

“I’m sorry,” said Daitana weakly. “You can see it’s just impossible.”

Rarity and Sweetie Belle exchanged looks.

“Welcome to Ponyville,” said Sweetie Belle. “If the only problem is getting unicorns to squirt, that’s not even a problem at all.”

“Shh, Sweetie,” advised Rarity. She turned to the woeful couple. “I begin to understand. I will also say you’ve hurt me deeply without meaning to, but we’ll skip that…”

“Oh no!” said Kichona. “We’re sorry! You’re sorry, aren’t you, Daitana?”

Daitana was grimacing, and Rarity continued, “Or perhaps we shan’t skip it, then. Am I reading too much into this, sir? You have an aversion to what you’d call arrogant unicorns who horngasm copiously into you? You feel they would take you away from your beloved, a thought you cannot bear? It seems odd, for I’d think that would place you in more of a feminine role yourself, but I am no expert. Anyhoof, the idea upsets you?”

Kichona nodded, hugging Daitana.

Rarity compressed her lips. “Firstly, we’ll keep you the pony hell away from Lyra. But secondly: sir, I have a similar aversion. There was a time when I was just such an arrogant, beautiful unicorn expressing myself that way, and it scarred me, and I can’t help but feel wounded by your loathing. There’s a part of me that shares that loathing.”

“Aw, Rarity!” said Sweetie, her lip quivering.

“No, Sweetie, be brave! I regret nothing. My point is this. Daitana, if you starve in the absence of magic (and you know the sort I mean), and you cannot stand the wrong sort of unicorn partner, we will just have to find a sort you can stomach.”

Kichona’s eyes widened. “Do you think you can? I promise, I don’t mind losing him if it will save his life. That’s all I care about.”

Daitana wailed, and Rarity banged a hoof on the road cobbles. “Goodness, no! Don’t you understand what Ponyville’s like? I’ll take you to Fillydelphia if that doesn’t convince you! Perhaps not, some of the unicorns there would burn your face off with their issue and then happily trot on to the next scene. Daitana, is this a trembling virgin situation? By that I mean, have you ever consumed magic in this way, before? Ever, in all your life?”

Reluctantly, the starving Kirin answered. “Y-yes. When I was travelling to Kichona’s home, there to take up my first duties, and had not met her… there were two Kirin on the road. And they offered themselves, so humbly. It was so strange, so wrong, I didn’t love them and yet they masturbated before me to serve me…”

Rarity snorted. “Sounds like a typical Fillydelphia evening to me. And now you can’t bear to allow this, because you love your mate so much?”

“The unicorns in her town were so arrogant, so proud, so j—juicy…”

Sweetie Belle was frowning. “But I don’t get one part, this makes no sense. Doesn’t he have to masturbate too, if they arc like us? And if he’s so powerful wouldn’t he just light the unicorn up instead of eating their magic?”

Rarity blinked. “A good point. You’re right, this makes no sense at all. What are we missing, Daitana?”

Daitana blushed brightly… raised a hoof… and gestured toward his open mouth. His head made a bashful but unmistakable up-and-down motion… and his lips made an O.

Sweetie’s eyes and mouth opened wide.

“Sweetie, darling, calm down,” chided Rarity, “I said, Sweetie… Sweetie!”

Rarity grimaced, hoof to her head and eyes tightly shut, as her demented and shameless little filly climaxed just thinking about the Kirin sucking off her horn, and sure enough a little gout of magic arced into the air.

“Thank you, Sweetie Belle, that will do,” said Rarity. “We’ll call that ably demonstrated. And I’ll call you grounded! And pull your tongue back in, at once!”

Sweetie shook off a dazed and pleased look. “Moooom!”

“And get moving, right now!” ordered Rarity. “Do you have any idea what trouble we’d be in if you were seen doing that? The police-ponies in Manehattan are very strict about public indecency! This is not Fillydelphia, or even Ponyville, young lady! Come along, hurry now! You too, Daitana, Kichona!”

Sweetie staggered groggily along, shaking her foggy head to clear the pleasure-waves. “Do they have good dungeons in Manehattan?”

“No!” retorted Rarity.

“Yes,” said a passing stallion.

Rarity glared at him and trotted between him and quivering Sweetie, and kept moving at a good clip.

“The unicorns in Neighpon,” said Daitana, “would try to stick their horns in my mouth right in the street. They’d be panting, l—leaking.”

“How nice for them,” snapped Rarity. “Come on, come on!”

“Rarity!” cried Kichona, dismayed. “Please! Stop!”

Reluctantly, Rarity did. Kichona looked plaintively at her, and spoke. “What hurt you so badly?”

That got through. “I… suppose you could say I sinned,” answered Rarity, trying not to look at Sweetie’s mournful gaze.

Kichona gulped. “Rarity… I just don’t want my Daitana taken away. If you did bad things with orgasms, I don’t mind that. Even if you fed him with orgasms, I… it’s okay, it would be okay. I want him to live and be strong. I just don’t want a greedy unicorn to take him away from me. And I don’t think you’re greedy like that.”

Sweetie was hugging Rarity. Rarity managed to say, “Thank you.”

“Would you? Take him away, I mean?” asked Kichona.

Rarity drew a breath. Her eyes were teary, her mascara slightly smudged. “Darling, the very first thing one learns about scening is that one must negotiate from an understanding of ponies’ needs. You love each other, and it would be not only bad practice but the height of rudeness to exclude you. No, my dear Kichona: if I were to feed your Daitana, I would not try to take him from you.”

“Hey!” objected Sweetie Belle. “No fair! How come it’s Rarity all of a sudden? I wanna feed the Kirin!”

“Shush, Sweetie!” replied Rarity, in exasperation.

“Scootaloo can help me do it!”

“Oh, sweet Celestia!” grumped Rarity.

“Actually…” mumbled Daitana, and three sets of mare eyes turned to him.

“You’re grounded for a YEAR,” accused Rarity, glowering at Sweetie.

“No,” said Kichona, “hear him out.”

Daitana was more blush than Kirin, but he managed to mutter out what he had to. “It’s the amount. If I have to… I saw that, it was such a small amount. The ones on the road were a small amount. And, and I can get along with you unicorns better…”

“They fight with each other so much!” protested Kichona, tearing up.

At that, Rarity blanched. “Oh, don’t say that! We’re not so bad! I wouldn’t really ground Sweetie for a year. She’s embarrassing me… and I guess that’s on me, somehow I managed to raise my Sweetie without shame. In some ways she’s the pony I could never be. And I may say, what you observed runs in the family: I’m rather the same way.”

“Oooh!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Shush… oh, the hell with it,” said Rarity, wearily. “May I ask, Daitana, if there are any other unicorns you can get along with, or will the Carousel Boutique become a family-run filling station? We’ll have to take shifts for I am damned if I’m going to line up alongside my own… I’m sorry. It’s just that every time I think I have Ponyville mastered, along comes another damned learning experience.”

Daitana hesitated, and said, “That DJ unicorn, Vinyl Scratch… she’s not intimidating, that way. I think maybe she’s not overwhelming.”

Rarity’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding. DJ Pon-3 is the most overwhelming slut-pony in Equestria. She’s notorious, and you’re mad if you think she’s not intimidating.”

Daitana pouted. “Not to me. I’m not talking about what she does with other ponies. She seems… humble, to me. Back home I can tell the unicorns that want to stuff magic down my throat, and she’s not like that. I don’t know. It’s just a feeling. And you did ask.”

“Hey…” said Sweetie Belle, to him.


“This is your home too, now,” said Sweetie Belle. “It sounded to me like you and Kichona didn’t want to stay in Neighpon. Well, we can be your home. And we’ll find a way to meet your needs… and we’ll feed you your food, so you can live and be healthy and happy. Even if my Mom is throwing a fit about it. I promise she still wants to help you, no matter how it seems right now.”

Rarity stared at her filly, wide-eyed… and then tears came, and she was hugging Sweetie tenderly. “Oh, honey, I missed you. Sometimes I get distracted, and I forget your heart, but you see more clearly than I do, at times. Of course you’re right.”

“Am I…”

“Yes! You are un-grounded.”

“Yay!” squeaked Sweetie Belle.

“Now don’t spout off in the street over it!” scolded Rarity, laughing through her tears. “And come on home. You too, Daitana, Kichona. Don’t be frightened if things seem difficult. We’ll work out something that is good for all parties. You’re not going to keel over in the next few days, I take it, Daitana?”

“No, no…”

“Well then, let’s get you home, darling.”

Kichona marvelled at the undaunted, tear-streaked, joy-filled white unicorn, and her cheerful, shameless daughter. “How did you become so wise?”

“Wise?” said Rarity. “Perhaps you might say, well broken in… and I suppose that’s not so bad, is it?”

“It’s awesome,” said Sweetie Belle, proudly, and they continued on their way home.

Applejack peered at the gangplank, then at the ship. Her ears were perked forward in high attention, but she heard nothing… or at least, nothing she wanted to hear. Just the sounds of pirate-ponies going about their business. Kabochaebi had sent five of them out to collect crates of Apple Turnip Cakes off the cart Applejack herself had hauled all the way to Manehattan. Pinkie Pie had hauled a second cart, making jokes the whole way about how uncandylike the cakes were, how they had no business even being called cakes at all, and how the Neighponnese had to be crazy to be so cuckoo for them.

But she’d hauled her pink butt off, pulling a cart just as heavy-laden as Applejack’s, and delivered their incredibly precious cargo to the Manehattan docks: and now she was hitting the clubs with DJ Pon-3, and the rented carts could be returned to the place in Manehattan where they’d rented them. And Kabochaebi was good for the payment, said Diamond Tiara, after reading the written contract five times… and everything was all set.

Except for that one thing… the thing that involved Rainbow Dash… and Rainbow was playing some sort of game, or was upset with her, or was sick like the seasick ponies.

Biting her lip, Applejack stepped onto the gangplank… but no sooner had she set hoof upon it, than all hell broke loose inside the ship.

“Ow! Hey! Ow! Who the buck are you? Ow! Quit it!”

Applejack gasped. Rainbow Dash!

The other voice was yelling just as loud.

“Out! Out! Ridiculous creature! Out, right now!”

“Nooo! You can’t make me! Ow! Holy fuck what are your hooves, rocks? Stop! I swear it won’t take much longer!”

“Do you want to face my true wrath? That was just a warning!” demanded the other voice. Applejack thought she recognized it: Uni, or more properly, Kabochaebi.

“No wait STOP!” squeaked Dash, desperately. “Okay, see? I’m standing outside the door, just like you wanted! Now, I’m gonna explain why I need to come right back in and wait here…”

“No you will not!” yelled Kabochaebi.

“No seriously! Have a heart! I know my mare. She’s going to come looking for me. And it’s a special time, and I found this one little cabin… well, they’re all kind of little ‘cos this is just a dumb boat, but I mean it’s the prettiest cabin on the whole boat, just right for me and Applejack, and it has this cute little bed and it’s super tidy and nice and nopony was using it this whole voyage…”

Applejack’s jaw dropped. Kabochaebi’s hoof stamped the floor, inside the ship.

“Because it is MY CABIN!” raged the pirate queen. “It is the captain’s quarters, as the crew well knows! Get OUT, lusty pegasus, you’re not using my quarters as a love-nest!”

“Name one nicer place on this stupid puke-stained boat,” retorted Rainbow Dash.

“Out! OUT!”

Applejack was already galloping over the gangplank, running below decks, confronting the arguing pair.

“Aw, Uni, forgive her, you know this really is a special time, cain’t you cut us some slack?”

“Applejack! Help me throw this crazy girl pony over the side so we can use this cute little cabin!”

Applejack muffled Rainbow’s helpful advice with a gentle hoof, and looked imploringly at Uni. “Jes’ this once?”

For a moment, her counterpart just stared at her. Then, the reformed pirate captain spoke. “I am the Kabochaebi, and you can piss off as well. This is my ship, and these are MY quarters! Beat it!”

She charged, and with little pony shrieks, Applejack and Rainbow both fled rather than face her. They ran up on the deck, halfway across the gangplank, and then pivoted and made a heroic last stand, Applejack balancing, Rainbow flapping and more or less balancing on top of Applejack. Rainbow squawked, “Totally no fair!”

Applejack gasped. “You’re gonna throw us out onto the docks. But… but you KNOW what Ah’m about ta do!”

Kabochaebi’s eyes twinkled, with that piratical gleam, and more than a little amusement. She didn’t give an inch, standing on the ship side of the gangplank.

“Yes, I do. I know you’re frantic to have sex right away, and I know why, and they certainly won’t let you do it on a busy Manehattan dock. And I’m sure that’s very frustrating.”

“Ya THINK?” whinnied Applejack.

Kabochaebi made as if to charge again, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash shrieked and scrambled backwards off the gangplank in a flurry of wings and legs, landing on their pony butts on the dock. Quick as a wink, Kabochaebi seized the gangplank in her teeth and pulled it back onto the ship… and, panting, stood there looking at the pony miscreants. Looking… and smirking.

“Very frustrating,” repeated Kabochaebi. “How terrible. But I know you’ll find a way… Booties.”

Still smirking, she nodded her head, and went back below decks, leaving Applejack and Rainbow alone on the dock.

“Dammit!” raged Rainbow Dash. “That was really important!”

“Easy, Dashie! First… ya got a kiss? For me?”

Dash looked distraught, almost tearful, frantic… and then she’d seized Applejack and given her a fierce and passionate kiss. Applejack grabbed right back, and the two mares clung tightly and smooched fit to smoulder, and then Applejack had pulled back just enough to get a few words out.

“That ain’t important, Rainbow my love. Forget th’ boat. I got somethin’ I jes’ HAVE to tell you.”

She was trembling, her hocks quivering, her eyes locked to Rainbow’s…

“Nah,” said Rainbow Dash.


“I heard. A Kirin told me,” said Dash casually.

Applejack’s heart was pounding, her eyes wide pools of fillyish wonder. “Told you what, exactly?”

Rainbow began to pant, her casualness eroding, even as she fought to cling to her patented Rainbow Dash coolness and attitude. “Oh, nothing bad. Just… that they made you, I mean me, I mean you and me…”


Dash bit her lip, her heart whamming in her chest. “Yeah? Best girl?”

Applejack gulped. “Rainbow… be my stallion… an’ put a foal in me. The Kirin did that for us, Rainbow. It’s true. Ah will be your mare. Make me pregnant.”

Dash couldn’t speak for a moment. She hugged Applejack crazy tight, and Applejack hugged back. Then, Dash was looking in dismay at the ship, inside which Kabochaebi smugly lurked. Her lip quivered as she looked back at Applejack. “But we can’t. I had the perfect spot picked out, and that little pony girl chased us away.”

Applejack’s eyes seemed extra green and alive. She licked her lips, ears laying back in anxiety. “Yes, we kin.” She, too, glanced at the ship, but more defiantly… remembering Kabochaebi’s last challenge.

“What, here?”

Applejack reached up, grabbed her hat, threw it down on the ground, her mane flying free. The magic bit flew out of her hat and bounced along the dock with a cheerful metallic ping, clattering to rest. She yanked off the red hair-ties on her mane and tail and threw them down as well, and she stood naked, clinging to Rainbow Dash, pirate flags flying in her bold, joyous eyes.


Rainbow began to grin wider and wider, and her wings stood bolt erect. Without letting go of Applejack, she scooched over, bent down toward the waiting magic bit…

“I’m so pleased we were able to encounter you, Mayor Kragen!” said Princess Celestia. “What an honor it is to enjoy dinner with the Mayor of Manehattan!”

“Oh, no, my dear Princess,” said the Mayor, “the honor is all mine! And I’m extra pleased to welcome a visitor from Neighpon to our lovely city!”

Yosuru cleared her throat. “Manehattan delights | restaurants like palaces | buildings high as clouds.”

Celestia laughed charmingly. “Yes, yes! We shall have an especially delightful dinner, the height of high cuisine…”

Beside her, Twilight Sparkle beamed, enjoying the pomp and circumstance of the fancy dinner and important company. Trixie Lulamoon pouted, less impressed but tolerating a certain amount of Great and Powerful that wasn’t about her. Celestia turned to Yosuru.

“Now, you must tell me, Yosuru, for I can hardly believe it. Your Kirin, in fact your companion Kirin in your home town, gave our Applejack some sort of gift?”

Yosuru nodded gravely. “Daitana himself | granted your sweet mother-mare | a foal with her mate.”

Trixie spat out her drink. Luna’s, and Chaos’s, eyes flew wide. Celestia gasped. “But… Yosuru, her mate is also a mare! And I’ll grant you our Ponyville ponies get, ah… creative with the subject, but from the reaction of Hina, I’d have thought you Kirin disapproved of such things!”

Yosuru shrugged. “From the mountaintops | to the edges of the shore | there are exceptions.” She hesitated, and added, “She’s such a good pony, and they weren’t going to do all that in Neighpon, you know.”

“Oh, of course,” said Celestia. “I’m sure we’ll not trouble your shores with, erm… special magical artifacts.”

Mayor Kragen blinked. “I’m not sure quite what you’re talking about, but rest assured, we’re good ponies in Manehattan, too!”

“Yes, yes,” said Princess Celestia. “Don’t worry, it’s a… private affair. Some of our Ponyville ponies shall be expecting a rather unexpected blessing, thanks to the Kirin! We’re much in your debt, Yosuru. My goodness! Applejack will be so happy. I can’t thank you enough!”

“In that case,” said Mayor Kragen, pompously, “Manehattan is in your debt as well, dear lady.”

“And since I know your sensibilities, dear Mayor,” said Celestia, “I think we’d best change the subject. If I’m not mistaken, we were admiring the view from this lovely restaurant, whilst awaiting culinary ecstacy! As Yosuru correctly observes, it is like we’re in the clou… the cl…”

Trixie Lulamoon was admiring the view. She was admiring it very much, a huge grin on her little face. Specifically, she was admiring her lovely view of the docks, where they’d all just been.

Celestia followed her gaze, and her jaw dropped. She glanced, in alarm, at Trixie, who shrugged happily and continued to watch Rainbow Dash mount Applejack, a tiny distant cerulean erection projecting beneath her, still very much in public on the docks.

“What’s happening?” said Mayor Kragen, before they could react. He stood. He looked. His jaw dropped, and his face went red, and he began to splutter…

“Did you say debt?” said Princess Celestia, quickly and clearly. “What a coincidence! See those two ponies on the dock? Please inform your policeponies to leave them undisturbed until they leave of their own accord. I’m sure they won’t be long.”

Mayor Kragen stared at her, horrified. “But… indecent! Naughty! On the docks, my docks, the public docks! Those docks are in use to load and unload ships…”

“Close that one dock until the two ponies are done,” said Princess Celestia, briskly.

The Mayor stared at her, stunned. His eye twitched.

“As a personal favor to Canterlot,” said Princess Celestia.

“And the Dreamtime,” said Princess Luna, promptly.

“And Neighpon,” said Yosuru, unexpectedly.

“And Chaos itself!” said Chaos, happily.

Twilight and Trixie were hugging each other with delight, gazing at all their important friends with the happiest of smiles. Trixie, in particular, seemed thrilled beyond measure with the events. She’d never imagined she’d see that many stuffy important folk unanimously defend raunchy pony fucking on a dock, and it seemed all her dreams had come true at once.

The Mayor gulped.

“My goodness. O… of course. If it’s that important. I’ll go tell the chief right away, and you’ll be assured of their protection before appetizers arrive. Your dock ponies won’t be arrested, or disturbed in any way. I’ll be right back, just a moment.”

Celestia bowed her head. “We thank you. Indeed we are in your debt.”

“But,” said Mayor Kragen, “WHY?!?”

Celestia gave a little halfsmile.

“Diplomatic immunity…”

Rainbow Dash’s hooves clattered on the dock as she pranced, and then with a deft thrust of her athletic hips, she penetrated Applejack and her excited flare wedged eagerly into country pony vagina, accompanied by a girly shriek from her blonde long-haired mare.

Applejack gazed at the bright blue sky, her heart pounding, brain nearly exploding from the sensation as Dash’s eager bulk shoved into her juicy puss, pausing seemingly just to throb for a moment, then hungrily shoving a little deeper, and again…

“Oh my gosh!”

“Ahh! Dashie ahh!”

And Dash’s forehooves wrapped around Applejack lovingly, and her back bent as she pushed it still deeper to a scream of ecstacy and unbearable excitement from Applejack, who began to clench fiercely against the gloriously intruding hardness, that strange and unnatural mare-appendage that still somehow represented everything she loved about Rainbow Dash in the core of Applejack’s secret mare-ly heart…

And Rainbow, confident that all sides of her shared a home, flared her nostrils and gritted her teeth against the magic bit, and her trim powerful body doubled again and again as she gave herself over to the very masculine mating of her beloved mare, and the stiff horsecock she wielded got thrust vigorously to Applejack’s depths again and again in lusty, hungry shoves, Rainbow’s body convulsing in raw instinct and merging with the magical gender-flip as if it was the most natural thing in the world…

And Applejack let out a wavering squeal, shaking all over as Dash’s hard-on swelled to a rock-hard unyielding peak of pony-penetrating passion, and Rainbow Dash thrust deep and held it there, her flanks tensing…



Applejack melted down, her orgiastic spasms converging into a single ecstatic epiphany of fuck, and all she could feel was Rainbow’s cock throbbing and spurting pony-come into her womb. Crammed right up inside her, every gush palpably flooding her, Dash’s thighs hungrily shoving against her quivering rump.

“RRgh! rrRRh! ..nnNNgh! hhh! hh! hhNGH!”

Every little gush of Rainbow’s come felt like a distinct gift, to Applejack. Dash was holding her so tight and close. They’d had crazy intense orgasms before, but this time the world seemed to vibrate with urgent reality and Applejack could feel the sticky hotness coating her womb and, even as her vision blurred with raw pleasure, thought she could feel inside her the gift of the Kirin: she was the sweet pony mare she’d always wished to be from the moment she first laid eyes on Rainbow Dash’s bold, sensual figure, and she had surrendered all her love to her cerulean stallion and was joyously bringing forth her mate’s foal to cherish.

Rainbow panted, bit still clamped fiercely between her teeth. She wasn’t about to let it go in a hurry.

Applejack stood, hooves well braced, savoring absolutely everything from the feeling of strength and groundedness that pervaded her, to the calls of the sea-birds echoing across the Manehattan docks, to the exciting bulk of the stallionhood that remained lovingly thrust deep within her quivering vagina.

She’d done it. At last, she was the mare she’d longed to be. Her country heart swelled with joy and pride, for not only was she all the things the world had expected of her… at last, she was her true self, her deepest and secretest yearning fulfilled.

Applejack’s and Rainbow Dash’s ears perked bolt upright at a sudden cry.

“Three cheers for BOOTIES!”

It was the voice of the pirate captain. It came from inside the ship, and before they could react…


The ensuing laughter seemed purely affectionate, and they could hear Kabochaebi’s crew beginning to move again, going about their business.

Rainbow’s ears were splayed in gentle confusion. “What the… HECK was all that about? And who’s Booties, anyway?”

Applejack smiled.

“Ah’ll tell ya later,” she said, and nuzzled Rainbow’s face.