“You’re jokin’. Are y’all jokin’? I sure hope you’re jokin’!”

“I am not joking. Seriously, Applejack, think about it,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Ah am! Unfortunately! Honey, that there dick is ungainly enough without a frilly ribbon tied on it…”

“I said seriously!”

“How do you know I ain’t?” said Applejack. “I got a mind to turn around right now and go back. How did you talk me into packin’ that thing into town? Even if it’s just hid away in my saddlebag. I thunk you were gonna find us a nice private outdoorsy place to be, not Ponyville!”

The two ponies trotted over the bridge and toward Town Hall. Applejack glanced at Rainbow Dash. “Not only that, we done passed right by Carousel Boutique. You did notice that, din’tcha?”

Dash didn’t slow her pace. “We’re going to the spa. She’ll be at the spa, she always is at this time of the day…”

“Always is, period, you mean…”

“And,” continued Dash, “that should help her feel pretty, so she’ll be more likely to agree with the idea…”

“That makes one of us!” scoffed Applejack. At that, Rainbow Dash stopped, and turned to face her.

“You tryin’ to tell me something, Boss? Out with it!”

Applejack glowered, glanced from side to side huntedly, and saw nopony near enough to hear at that moment, but still she dropped her voice to an angry hiss of a whisper. “I ain’t fuckin’ Rarity! Ya shoulda tole me that was what you meant!”

“Oh, sorry, I assumed you loved all our friends as much as I do.”

“Lovin ‘em ‘s one thing, gittin’ busy with ‘em is another!”

“I’m surprised I have to explain this to you, after the state you were in when we first hooked up,” said Rainbow Dash, unruffled.

“Dashie!” hissed Applejack.

“No no no. You listen! We have a gift here. I don’t know why Trixie made this thing, though I could hazard a guess, but this is an opportunity. You know how desperate you were. You’ve seen how Fluttershy got, she really reached more than a wingspan there but it just goes to show you. Boss, even Twilight had needs. I told you she would. Well, I’m telling you now—you are not going to leave our friend Rarity hangin’!”

“Dashie!” repeated Applejack, furious.

“Don’t you love her? Don’t you care?”

At this, Applejack backed up a pace, glaring, paying less attention to her surroundings as her frustration grew. “Well… yeah. ‘Course I do. We been through some stuff together. I’d do anythin’ for her. But… Consarn it, if you want to see Rarity on the end of a dick, you fuck her!”

Applejack and Dash glanced to the side, to see a startled spring-green unicorn staring at them. Before they could say anything, Lyra trotted off, breaking into a canter before she’d gone twenty feet.

“AJ!” snapped Dash. “I’d be happy to. I’m sure I will—we already hang out. If she wasn’t so… controlled, I’d already have teased her or maybe slipped her the tongue. Come on, you know she’d be super well groomed. I bet there’s lots of great things about her.”

“Fine. Do it. What the hay are you draggin’ ME into it for?”

Dash’s look was pitying, like she felt Applejack should’ve been able to work this out on her own. “Because you’re better, Boss. You’re the number one stallion. I’ll live with that—I have other specialties—but as far as bringing a stallion to our lonely marefriends, you’re just plain the best. You’re bigger than me, you’re more stalliony than me without even trying, your hindquarters and motions are… wow! You’re the best we have to offer.”

Applejack looked sulky. “So?”

“So… do you seriously think I’m going to go and offer Rarity second prize, when you just know she’s as desperate as the rest of us? I’ll catch up with her some other time. And don’t worry about that, she’s incredibly smart—there’s no way she’ll, you know…” hinted Rainbow Dash, and her wings quivered suggestively. “She would never do that. Just body sex. I’ll get a chance—if she wants, that is. But you’re the star here. We offer her you. Nothin’ but the very best.”

Applejack gave a sulky look. “I wouldn’t want her to sit around frustrated, I guess. But still… consarn it! Ain’t you jumpin’ to a lot of conclusions? What if she don’t want me, neither?”

“Please!” scoffed Rainbow Dash. “She looks healthy enough. I would’ve heard about it if she was getting anything. Like that unicorn mare who ran off—you don’t have to worry about Lyra, she’s taken. Not even Pinkie Pie can get in, and she’s more Lyra’s speed than us! I’m telling you, Boss, you’ve got to find it in your heart to come to Rarity’s rescue. If she was starving, you’d bring her food without thinking twice! Wouldn’t you?”

“Well, o’ course I would!”

“Boss, she’s starving. You know how, because you were in the same jam. You can’t just think of yourself. It won’t worry me—we have something special, me and you—but we’re talking basic physical needs here. This is important. Our friends’ health and happiness are at stake. Didn’t I tell you we were going to bring joy to Ponyville?”

“Y’all keep your voice down?” hissed Applejack, glancing around again. “Yeah—and if I remember correctly, I said what, all of it? An’ I was not pleased.”

“We’ll think of something else if it gets too overwhelming. But, Boss? If you love Rarity, let me share you with her. C’mon. I bet she’s fantastic. Like bonin’ a Princess.”

Applejack narrowed her gaze. “So help me, if you suggest extendin’ this to-”

“Oh no! Hmm… No, I guess not. But do you hear what I’m saying?”

Applejack’s sulky look was changing, slightly, to a look of worry and alarm. “I guess I do. Dammit, Dashie, you got to warn me about this stuff!”

“Yeah, well, if I had you wouldn’t have come into town with me at all. Now come on—the spa is this way, she’ll just be finishing up.”

Applejack reluctantly followed Dash, grumbling. “Of all the consarned featherbrained schemes…”

Dash was right—as they approached the spa, Rarity appeared in the doorway, her head high, and began trotting their way, hooves catching the air, clearly feeling beautiful.

“How’d you do that?” whispered Applejack. “Your timin’s perfect!”

“Trust a pegasus to see what goes on in this town—from above!” replied Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah, or through second story windows…” whispered Applejack, but stopped, for Rarity had caught up with them. “Uh, hi Rarity!”

“Yeah, hi Rarity!” said Dash. “It’s wonderful to see you!”

“Yes, isn’t it? Aloe has discovered a new horn polish.” Rarity tilted her head coyly. “Isn’t it ravishing?”

“Ooooh,” said Dash. “Makes you want to stand around just licking it.”

“Oh! Really!” snickered Rarity. “Rainbow Dash, your opinion is, ah, noted! I suppose that must count as an endorsement. Perhaps not the type they can write on the bottle! So what brings you girls into town? I’d adore hearing your opinion on something, if you’ve got a minute. New hat!”

Applejack rolled her eyes, but Rainbow Dash was undaunted. “Sure! The latest thing from you, huh? I’d love to see it and then we can get your opinion on something too. If you’ve got another minute—I mean, after our minute.”

“But of course! Come with me, dears—and yes, naturally it is my creation. In fact I’d like to try it on Applejack,” said Rarity, as they trotted towards the Carousel Boutique. “I’m experimenting with a new type of brim, using a variation on the technique of gathers to make the brim wavy. It would not suit you, Rainbow, but it’s intended to set off long flowing hair like Applejack’s. If she would oblige?”

Applejack sighed heavily, but Dash smirked. “Oh, she’ll oblige all right!”

“How wonderful! I promise, dear, it won’t take long.”

“Don’t speak too soon!” said Rainbow Dash. “Maybe you’ll want it to take extra long!”

Applejack reared and cuffed Dash with a gentle hoof. “Dashie!”

“No, I promise, I shan’t take over-much of your time,” said Rarity. “Believe me, I’ve paid attention to your wishes, and I’m terribly grateful for your indulgence. It means so much—I’ve designed the hat for lighter mane colors such as your blonde, or some of the lilac or seafoam green shades that exist, and though everything looks good on me I don’t feel I can judge it properly against an intensely coiffed and dark-toned mane such as my own. You do understand?”

Dash just smirked, so Applejack replied, “Course I do, sugarcube. Why, I’d be happy to try that thing on for size.”

“And vice versa!” said Dash, which got her another cuff from Applejack.

Rarity blinked in puzzlement. “I’m not following you, dear, but let’s take care of business and then I shall ask you to make better sense, if you would be so good. Here we are!”

They entered the Carousel Boutique, and Rarity trotted over to a mannequin, picking up its hat with her unicorn magic and floating it across the room, to where Applejack cast suspicious glances at the approaching couture. It was indeed a wavy hat—a small bowl-like round crown transitioned to a wide, flopping brim, all in a cheery straw color, and a narrow crimson hatband held two long-stalked flowers, one pink and one peach-colored. The arcs of the flower stalks led the eye down to a single, tiny diamond, just large enough to glint.

Applejack’s ears went back as her hat flew off, as the girly contraption settled onto her head, as Rarity’s magic positioned it and adjusted and tousled her mane to set it off. Applejack’s tail flicked, and she pecked at the floor with a forehoof, but tolerated the preening for Rarity’s sake.

“There. Now, lift your head, give me something!”

Both ponies looked around, startled, as Rainbow Dash fell to the floor and rolled about laughing. “Are you quite finished?” said Rarity.

“Yeah yeah… I’m good. You’ll get it later,” said Dash, and then her eyes bugged out and she keeled over laughing again.

“Sorry about this…” said Applejack.

“No need,” said Rarity. “There is nopony quite like our Rainbow, is there?”

“Y’all can say that again,” agreed Applejack, with emphasis.

Rarity cast a critical eye over Applejack’s visage, staring so hard that the country pony grew bashful and dropped her gaze, tilting her head down. She peered up from under the hat’s brim, and as she did, Rarity’s jaw dropped.

“Oh, exquisite! Thank you so much, Applejack, I now have every confidence in the design! If you could have seen it… but perhaps you don’t readily see yourself in that light. You should have a look at yourself if you dare—you might be surprised!”

Applejack blushed slightly—she wasn’t yet daring enough to look girly in public, but she instinctively understood what Rarity was saying, and couldn’t help but be pleased.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help herself, either. “Yeah, well, you should have a look at the bit in Applejack’s saddlebag, if you dare. You might be surprised!”

Applejack’s eyes flew wide in shock, but before she could object, Rarity’s magic had opened her saddlebag, and the magic bit was lifted out, floating across the room in front of Rainbow and Rarity. Dash’s eyes gleamed with mischief, but Rarity just looked confused.

“It’s a bit, certainly, dear, but you haven’t any bridle or harness or anything. I could… no, I think not. You’ve brought this here to show me? Is that what your obvious amusement is about? Whatever is it for?”

“It’s for THIS!” cried Rainbow Dash.

Applejack winced, and squeezed her eyes shut, unable to look, as Dash seized the bit out of the air with her teeth—and reared, directly in front of Rarity.


Applejack peeked out of the corner of her eye, to see much what she’d expected—Dash, wings flapping to help keep her balance, and Rarity staring aghast, set back on her hooves, jaw agape at the unexpected, rampant, Dash penis jutting eagerly out at her.

Rarity gulped, one eye twitching.

“Ahahaha! Lovely! It’s your color—well, I suppose that stands to reason, wouldn’t it?”

“Great, ‘nnt it?” said Dash, around the bit.

Rarity glanced quickly back and forth between Dash’s pride, and Applejack’s alarmed eyes peeking out under the brim of the hat.

“Why, I, I… I’m very happy for you both, how strangely suitable, though I guess I’d have had to flip a coin to work out which of you… WOULD YOU PUT THAT THING AWAY?”

Startled, Dash dropped to four hooves again, and dropped the bit on the floor. Rarity was shaking, her eyes savage, and then she gritted her teeth and pulled herself together.

“Forgive me—darling—but you must understand this is a place of business! I must ask you not to ever, ever do that here again. I’m not sure how you did it in the first place!”

“Okay,” said Rainbow Dash, “where do you want to go? You got a back room or somethin’?”

“What?” snapped Rarity.

“Rarity, it’s for you! We thought you might need a little… you know… more than what the spa can do for you. We’re trying to help!” protested Rainbow Dash.

Rarity stared, dumbfounded. “You… YOU intended to…”

“No, not me, honestly! Applejack is much better, you’ll see!”

Rarity’s horrified stare switched over to Applejack. Applejack had blushed scarlet and was peering from under the very girly hat, her lip quivering in mortification.

“Thankfully,” said Rarity, “that’s quite beyond even my imagination at the moment—though I shall hold you responsible for any nightmares that may ensue!”

“Come on, Dashie, we need to go away now…” pleaded Applejack. “Thank you for lettin’ me wear the pretty hat an’ all, Rarity…”

“Now wait a minute!” said Rainbow Dash. “You can’t be telling me that you’re HAPPY not getting laid, Rarity! We’re your friends, we love you, if you’ll just listen…”

“I have heard enough!” said Rarity. “And seen more than enough! This is a place of business, Rainbow Dash, and even if it were not, I am not one to be courted by gauche display! I am insulted, Rainbow Dash—insulted!”

Dash wavered. “So… if we came back, maybe tonight, and I had Applejack make sure not to be gauche…”


“Hey!” said Dash. “A little less attitude when we’re just trying to help you? You need it and you know it. We ALL do. I’m not gonna leave my friends hangin’ just because it makes for awkward conversations! Aren’t you used to that from me?”

Rarity couldn’t suppress a little smile. “It is impossible to ever get used to you, dear. I’m sorry I shouted at you for being—well, being Rainbow Dash. Dash and a little bit more!”

Dash’s face was unforgettable, as she tried to process that ‘little bit more’ remark while still not giving up on her schemes. “Sooo…. later tonight, we could…”

The smile vanished. “I have another engagement.”

“Yeah, well, I bet it’s not like the one we could…”

The smile went past ‘vanished’ into a dangerous-looking frown. “I do not wish to pursue this line of conversation further!”

“Come ON, Dashie!” insisted Applejack. She bent to get the magic bit, and then hesitated, looking up from under the hat again. “Lil’ help here?”

Rarity smirked, and her horn flared into action again, lifting the bit and replacing it in Applejack’s saddlebag, lifting the hat from Applejack’s head and restoring it to the mannequin from which it came. “Of course, darling. Your assistance is most appreciated. And… you looked lovely, Applejack, if that means anything to you. Ta ta! I must return to the crucible of creation!”

Applejack grabbed her own hat off the floor, and flipped it onto her head with practiced deftness.

“Crucible of frustration…” muttered Dash.

“Shh!” said Applejack. “Thank y’all for your hospitality, Rarity, we best be goin’!”

The next thing Dash knew, she was trotting along a path in the woods, Applejack beside her and setting the pace, which was barely even a trot—it was an edgy, too-energetic canter. Dash realized that, though Applejack was leading the trot, the energy was coming from her—she stepped high and aggressively, her wings flapped and unfolded, and she caught herself glaring at an innocuous stump. With a start, she realized it was the stump she’d tripped over at the Running Of The Leaves.

“What the hay are we doing up here, Boss?”

Applejack winked—not with her vag. “I’m a good herder. ‘Specially of cranky ponies who don’t even know where they’re running to. Y’all back with us, Dashie?”

“I… yeah. What just happened? Did Rarity really just kick us out?”

“Not exactly,” said Applejack, “but I wouldn’ta blamed her. I got to break you of that trick, Dashie, you even scared me with it—and I wanted Dashie dick more’n anything. What must Rarity have thought?”

“She… the… I’ll tell you, she thought it was little! A little bit more! That’s what she said! I’m gonna run back there an’…”

“Oh no! First of all, it’d take minutes an’ minutes. You’ve been fit to bust this whole time. I wondered when you’d come around. Second, bite your tongue, love don’t work like that and you will NOT make such talk around me, no matter how stalliony you feel. Third…”


“We’re comin’ up to the waterfall, it’s a real pretty spot, an’ there’s the woods. If y’all must be that way, I call dibs! That dick is MY pleasure, Dashie, and if Rarity don’t want it, more for me—you know it’s hard for me to resist it when you get your blood up an’ all.”

Dash glanced at Applejack. “That why you led me here?”

Applejack trotted along, cheerfully and tirelessly. “I’d ‘a dragged you. Rarity dressin’ me in that hat made me feel like somepony understood me.”

Dash considered this. “She probably does. She’s super smart. What do you think she meant, when she said she had an engagement?”

“No concern o’ mine.”

“Well, it’s a concern of mine! Now I want to know what she’s up to! Do you think she’s going to have… a special visitor?”

“Don’t care.”

“Aren’t you curious? Who could she possibly be fooling around with?”

“Don’t care. An’ you’re assumin’ again.”

“Well, aren’t you even interested?”

“Only interested in one thing right now,” said Applejack.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep. And you’re carryin’ it with y… well, in theory you’re carryin’ it with you.”

Dash blinked, and then smirked. She fell back a pace, nosed into the saddlebag Applejack wore, and her head emerged with the bit between her teeth, and Rainbow Dash proudly trotted on beside her mare, erection swinging and wagging madly beneath her as she went.

As they neared the waterfall, Applejack giggled. “Dashie! Behave!”

Rainbow Dash was playfully trying to mount her, even while they still trotted along. Applejack hopped to the side, her rump bouncing out of the way as Dash tried to grab it, and then the earth pony was sprinting like crazy for the waterfall, the enamored pegasus hot on her tail, magical cock no longer swinging but rigidly erect under her.

“Hah! Beat you!” cried Applejack.

Dash laughed, rearing, still trying to grab her hindquarters, but Applejack had other ideas. It could have been the running, or the outdoor air, but she’d thrown caution to the wind and proceeded to tease Dash recklessly, prancing and bucking as the lust-maddened pegasus tried to mount her.

“Yah! Work for it baby!”

Dash snorted, her nostrils flared, mane unkempt and eyes flaring intoxicatingly, and reared, pawing the air with forehooves, her wings holding her up.

“Mighty stiff of y’all but let’s have it even mor.. whoa!”

Dash pounced, and Applejack twisted away, and in a stroke of ingenuity, rolled onto her back, and stared up at her lover triumphantly, having gone into a completely un-equine position.

“Hah! Let’s see ya try that now!” she cried.

Rainbow Dash, deprived of a pony butt to mount upon, descended in a storm of wings that took her weight and allowed her to swoop in, cocking her hips just right with her famed dexterity…

There was a loud slurp, as Dash’s cock thrust boldly to the hilt in Applejack’s startled body, as Dash came to rest between Applejack’s parted legs—and then, a double gasp, and two pairs of formerly lust-maddened eyes flew open in shock.

And, between them, two pairs of equine breasts scrunched together, and two pairs of erect nipples rubbed cozily against each other.

Applejack panted. Rainbow Dash licked her lips. She shifted her hips just a little bit, and both ponies shuddered, and Applejack let out a moan and melted back against the ground as if Pinkie Pie was working all her tricks at once.

Dash drew a shaking breath. Inside Applejack, the magical stallionhood swelled to its most rigid.

“Don’t even ask me to stop,” said Dash, “because we are taking THIS ride all the way…”

“More,” breathed Applejack, and closed her eyes, clinging to Dash’s body with her forelegs.

As Dash shifted her hips back, she felt Applejack’s pony tits rubbing against hers, and she made a point of not lifting up—her soft swellings tenderly stroking along her lover’s, feeling the erect nipples draw away from Applejack’s, tracing gentle lines of sensation along the surface of her breast.

Then, sliding forward, savoring the reverse sensation as her hardness sunk deeper and deeper into Applejack’s fevered vagina, and their neat equine breasts squished firmly together again, nipples rubbing each other. Rainbow Dash wriggled her hips experimentally. Her nipples were so stiff, but they were nothing to Applejack’s. Dash wriggled some more, and then gave some playful shoves, her cock ramming deeper into her mare that lay on her back with her spine against the unyielding ground…

Applejack screamed and began to come, violently. Her hind legs kicked at nothing, her forelegs clung tighter, and she writhed under her lover as Dash kept thumping her inner depths in the unexpected position, kept squirming and rubbing erect nipples against erect nipples, squeezed together in a crucible of mare meltdown with all erogenous zones under tender attack.

Applejack lost her pony mind, feeling that motion within her while her pelvis was braced against hard ground. She banged her head against the grass, crying out heedlessly, her tail thrashing, rolling her legs back to allow Rainbow Dash’s thrusts to go deeper.

“OH yeah… that’s IT…” managed Dash, “that… it… NGH!”

Applejack squealed. Dash’s hips jerked and bucked as she blew her load into her mare, in a mind-numbing sustained spasm that only ended when the two ponies had stopped setting each other off with aftershocks and final twitches.

They rested, limply, careful not to move and disturb sore, scrunched and overexcited pony breasts. Dash heaved a deep, satisfied sigh.

“Love your… stallioning… but… Applejack, you are the best girl, too…”

Applejack blinked, and focussed her dazed, blissed eyes on her lover. “My little… innovator.”

In the Royal Castle in Canterlot, Luna trotted up to Princess Celestia.

“Sister, pray tell what thou has spied in the forest?”

“Oh!” said Celestia, allowing the binoculars to drop from her magical grasp. “The forest?”

“The forest thou studiest, of course! Our vantage point observes it. Hast thou discovered new fauna, or flora?” Luna smiled brightly.

“Why… in a sense, I suppose! There is nothing truly new under the sun—or moon, yes, I know—but I feel it was new to them, and so we might deem it ‘new’.”

Luna lifted an eyebrow. “Them?”

Princess Celestia’s amusement was subdued, but still obvious. “You might call it… a little special earth pony magic.” Her expression developed what could only be a smirk. “A close connection… to the earth?”

Luna stared, and then—without grasping every detail of her elder sister’s implication—she grew a tolerant smirk as well, and laughed. “Oh, sister! Husbandry? Really?”

“All things under the sun (and moon) are important, dear sister—and all manners of love are worthy. Love takes many forms, seemly—and unseemly.”

“Unseemly love? Relinquish thy binoculars, post haste!” joked Princess Luna.

“Nay! Nay!”

“Oh, very well. Enjoy thy unseemly ponies!” Luna trotted gracefully off, snickering.

Princess Celestia chuckled. She began to lift the binoculars to her eyes again—hesitated, smiled, and turned away, setting the binoculars gently down.

Things worked out so well sometimes when one allowed them to do so, without fuss or interference. Even if they did so unexpectedly—or in a manner unseemly.

Perhaps they would even be the ones to solve that recurring problem with the thing.

Princess Celestia walked off, untroubled.